Ashtangi Angel

Maya (illusion) and fear

2012-03-03T07:59:00.002Z

Maya (Sanskrit माया māya), in Indian religions, has multiple meanings, usually quoted as "illusion", centered on the fact that we do not experience the environment itself but rather a projection of it, created by us.

The ashtanga system never fails to impress me in its capacity to demonstrate the duality of my existence.

The practice is a constant reminder of what I think I know to be true and what is actual.

So I have begun to practice the second series and last night was the first practice at the Buddhist Centre with James Critchlow. I practiced up to Mari D of primary then into second and got as far as ardha matsyendrasana before my time run out, sadly. In post last post I mentioned laghu vajrasana and kapotasana, which Id tried on my own in the week and failed miserably to get into. Then I made a yoga rope and found a way to lower myself into it quite safely, although I didn't manage to get the head to the floor. Kapotasana was a completely different matter though, I couldn't find a way into it and my upper back seized up, preventing my from lifting my arms overhead and doing anything in the posture. I was very fearful of my back breaking, or my discs herniating or my thighs not holding out and me landing on my head. But most of all I was absolutely convinced that my body would not go into the posture. However....

...All my fears were proved to be pure illusion (maya) as James lowered me into laghu vajrasana with ease, still holding my thighs and then to kapotasana where it felt easy to place my hands on the floor! James then pulled each wrist in towards my feet and I held onto my toes. Once in the postures I felt an amazing release of the fear which was creating tension in my body and holding me back from attaining the posture and I managed to work a little deeper. James said he could feel the release physically. He also said that he knew what my spine could do and knew it was fear holding me back. He said the longer he teaches yoga (and he's been teaching since the 70s) the more he believes that it is therapy for the rest of your life.

As an aside...James was telling some great stories last night about his journey of teaching. Apparently back in the day, the 90's probably, he got David Swenson over to do workshops all the time in Birmingham, before he he turned yoga superstar. He's been teaching as long as David and knows him well. He was also telling us about when he first heard of ashtanga, he as doing Iyenga at the time and couldn't believe there was another form of yoga, then he met someone who'd been to Greece to practice this dynamic form, similar to what Iyenga students know as 'jumpings', then he met Derek and Radha and that was it. He was teaching Iyenga and then slowly his Iyenga class became an ashtanga class. He says his first proper full primary led class lasted 2.5hrs as he'd keep forgetting what was next... I guess there weren't cheat sheets back in the day! Sounds like good times.

An amazing experience in baddha konasana...

2012-03-01T21:18:00.000Z

So I've been experimenting a lot with the konasanas, baddha, upavista, from the primary series and the effects of mula bandha and pelvic floor work on the hips in these postures. I've worked out that if I engage ashwini mudra (or squeeze the anus as Tim Feldman puts it!) and pull up on the perineum muscle, then something happens low in my sacrum which allows my hips to open in baddha konasana and for me to bend further forward in upavista.

However, today I was having problems in getting both engaged at the same time and my hips felt stiff. So I was wriggling about in baddha, and trying to open my feet and engage the necessary bits at the same time, then everything clicked into place I had this powerful feeling from my tailbone right up through the spine to the middle of my shoulder blades. A feeling like everything along the spine was completely in alignment and working together. I must have spent about 15 breaths in BK, just completely absorbed by this amazing feeling. I can only describe it as perfect alignment or a feeling of clarity and stillness.

I don't normally describe any of my yoga experiences in esoteric terms, but as I don't know what exactly happened this morning, I can only describe it as maybe unblocking some granthis?! It felt as if there was definitely space for energy to travel upwards to in between my shoulder blades. So maybe that was it...granthis, being unblocked. Maybe I even experienced a little bit of kundalini rising?! But it definately stopped right in between my shoulders, at the back of my heart. Maybe that's why I can't get to grips with the deeper backbends, because I have a huge blockage at my heart centre! Aaargh! Who knew?!!

Laghu Vajrasana...this is war!

2012-03-01T20:55:00.001Z

Amazing what yoga props you can find at your local B&Q isn't it?! This contraption cost me 11 quid, not bad eh?!

I've been meaning to get a yoga rope for ages, just haven't got round to it. But Sunday's brush with second series backbends and in particular my complete inability to even lean back in laghu vajrasana, pushed me to get it sorted, and quick! It has turned out to be extremely handy, now I can practice some of second at home. As well as laghu, I also tried kapotasana, an asana which I've always thought looked beautiful and have wanted to master for ages. However, turns out my upper back is as stiff as a board :( I can see now why Kino says that you may be ready for second if you can drop back... I bend a lot in the lumbar and a lot less in the thoracic spine and these second series backbends make this stand out A LOT.

The other huge issue I have with kapo is the reaching back with the arms. I am absolutely petrified of putting my arms back, even just in prayer position up to my forehead! It's unbelievable! I thought I would have been OK, what with being able to drop back quite happily now. But no! It's crazy, I'm nearer the floor so there is less distance to fall back, yet as soon as bring my hands in line with my face my entire back stiffens up and I cannot go anywhere!

I know people say that these deep backbends release a lot of underlying feelings, so what does not being able to put my arms up and back mean??! That I cannot open my heart? Or is it just that my bone structure will not allow me to get the movement in the shoulders necessary for the arm position? I suppose the next few weeks of practicing second series will soon answer these questions...

When is it the right time to begin second series?

2012-02-26T19:07:00.001Z

So my teacher James said I should start the intermediate series next week. I panicked a little as I can't even jump back properly (when I say properly, I guess i mean 'float' back) and still cannot jump through with straight legs (I can do crossed legs now).

I'd been held back for over a year with knee pain, knee clicking etc. but once it seemed to have got a lot better (they're not perfect and don't think they ever will be) my practice has just taken off! Thinking about what I've achieved in such a short space of time seems amazing... padmasana, mari d, supta kurmasana, tittibhasana, bakasana with jump back and drop backs, all within 9 months. I can't come up to stand from back bend unassisted, (I managed it once but it has evaded me since :) but I'm dropping back at home most practices, the Lino Miele way (walking hands back down legs then letting go). So my question is am I ready for the second series?

I'm trying to think back to when I started the primary series... did I think I'd never be able to do them? Yeah, I guess I did, I certainly didn't think I'd ever jump through to sit, let alone get into supta kurmasana and dropping back into a back bend. I remember watching the teacher demonstrate jumping through and thinking, 'yeah right!!'. lol. It's funny how quickly things change. The time's gone by in a flash.

Kino MacGregor says that if you can hold UHP without any stumbling, bind in mari d, bind and get legs behind head (with help is fine) in supta k and drop back and come up in your backbends, then you may be ready for intermediate series.

So now I find myself here with the David Swenson practice manual open half way through and feel like a complete beginner. Again. But it's exciting. Very exciting. A new journey! New postures to work out, new pain and discomfort to experience!!! So today I finished purvottanasana then began the intermediate section. It all seemed to be going fine until laghu vajrasana.

OMG, it was hilarious, 3 options to choose from from David's book, and I still couldn't work out which one to do!! I think that'll be one to do with a teacher. It was like, 'if I bend here? No. If I do it like it this? No, that doesn't work. Maybe like this? No never going to happen!' LOL.

Kapotasana I managed to do option D I think, taking the hands back to the wall, but oh dear, I think my back has a LOT of work to do! I have a very flexible lower spine, but my upper/thoracic spine is so stiff it's unbelievable. The back bends left me thinking, will I EVER be able to do them?!

I guess I just have to look back and remember seeing tittibhasana or supta kurmasana for the first time!!

When I started ashtanga I really didn't know what I was letting myself in for. Before I'd even finished, sorry, even seen the whole primary series I was already booked up for David Swenson's retreat in Goa! It wasn't until I got there and was half way through the first morning's practice when I thought, wow this is long, I don't remember this posture...or this one for that matter! Complete shock. This time, I know exactly what I'm letting myself in for, I have books, DVDs and practice manuals and sheets to remind me! To remind me of how far I have to go, how long the journey's going to be and how much work I will have to put in every practice.

Luckily for me I can do the first 8 postures, I can even bind in Pasasana! And I'm looking forward to getting to grips with all the rest!

Backbending and the shoulder blade bandha revisited - 15 steps

2012-02-11T20:41:00.000Z

I just read a really interesting piece in Gregor Maehle's book Ashtanga Yoga Practice and Philosophy about back bending. The main tenet of the piece was about what needs to be done once you have lifted into backbend.

The main thing seems to be releasing the tension on the muscles that got you into the posture and then to engage their antagonists. So around the shoulder girdle you release trapezius and deltoideous and instead engage pectoralis major (in the chest) and latissimus dorsi (down the sides of the back as if you are pulling your shoulder blades down your back).

Along the trunk you engage the abdominals, especially rectus abdomens and at a the hips release gluteus maximus by engaging psoas (in the front of the hips) and in the legs releasing the hamstring by engaging the quadriceps.

We want to make sure that we are not pinching the spinous processes of the vertebrae, so we need to lengthen the spine and back. This action is therefore performed by engaging the psoas, rectus abdomens and pectoralis major, all in the front of the torso.

We need to be protective of the lower, lumbar region of the spin as it is the softest region.

Tips to achieve a deep backbend:

1: Maintain the support of the muscles that got you into the posture then engage their antagonists.
2. Make a swiping movement with your hands towards the end of the mat (one by one I guess!) This action brings the sternum towards the wrists or beyond.
3.Walk your hands in towards your feet.
4. Engage the quadriceps as if you want to flex the hip joint. They cannot flex so they will instead work to straighten the legs.
5. Bring the hands closer to the feet (more space should have been made by the flexion of the hips)
6. Come up onto your tip-toes and lift your chest high above the shoulders. Bring your heels back down.
7. Engage your rectus abdominus and thrust your entire torso up to the ceiling. Engaging the Abs draws the spinous processes of the vertebrae apart, creating length and space within your back.
8. Ensure that your armpits, thighs and knees have a slight inward rotation.
9. Drishti is always to the nose (especially when dropping back).
10. Feel how the exhalations open the rib cage and the front of the body.
11. Drop the crown of the head and lengthen the neck.
12. Engage the latissimus dorsi to extend the arms, this will draw the shoulder blades down the back, opening the heart.
13. To stay open behind the heart, release the rhomboids and engage serratus anterior. This muscle sets the shoulder blades wide whenever weight is borne into the hands, also a key muscle in downward dog and arm balances.
14. So in all of these postures the shoulder blades need to be depressed (lats) and abducted (serratus anterior).
15. Beware of the inward rotate of the humorous (arm bone) as the inwards rotation lets the armpits flare out to the sides, an action that allows the shoulders to move up to the ears which ultimately decreases the backbend. This action needs to be counteracted by infraspinatus.

Unfortunately GM's description fails to describe how to engage the infrapinatus! If anyone knows, please feel free to advise. :)

Drop the sitting bone!

2012-02-03T20:03:00.001Z

The new and amazing revelation this week has been through dropping the sitting bone in Utthita Hasta Padangustasana, or UHP as I like to call it :)

The above photo shows the A version, where you try to bring the chin to shin. You then bring the leg out the side for B, then back to centre for C, then release the leg, point the toe and hold leg elevated in the air for D. All need a great strength in the psoas muscle located at the been of the top of the thigh and the front of the hip.

UHP is a balancing posture first and foremost. My balance has always been ridiculous, ever since I started the practice. Balance is a funny thing, sometimes it's all right, a bit wobbly, other times I'm surprised I can even stand up on my own two feet it's that terrible! I personally put it down to focus, but also the time of the month has a lot to do with it, the moon cycle.

For ages I've just tried to rush through this posture, but because there are 4 elements to it it's hard to rush without your teacher spotting you! The first advice I had on how to hold UHP was from V, who said 'drop the hip back into the socket'. This did make a difference, but I'd find myself physically drawing the leg up, holding it steady, then letting it drop into the socket, which whist had its benefits, on its own used to put me off balance slightly. So I continued hopping around on the mat, putting myself and anyone around me off their balance!

But last Sunday I asked B to give me an adjustment / assist in UHP, which was amazing! Firstly he said 'drop the sitting bone', which whilst not sounding dissimilar to 'drop the hip into the socket', made a complete difference. This is where physical cues are important as I obviously wasn't 'getting' 'drop the hip'. B physically put his thumb in the crease of my outstretched hip/leg and pushed it towards the ground whilst holding the leg up. It brought the awareness to the sitting bone, equalising the force of the sitting bones drawing towards the ground in both the straight and the lifted legs. By pushing the sitting bone of the lifted leg towards the ground it immediately gave stability, from which you could then move the ball of the hip within its socket. Even from A to B, keeping the sitting bone dropped enabled me to get a massive external rotation in B and when brought back to centre for C and D, the strength was already held in the muscles around the hip joint to hold the outstretched leg higher for longer!!

The difference between dropping the hip into the socket and dropping the sitting bone is that with dropping the sitting comes an engagement and straightening out of the sacroiliac joint, which enables you to stand up straighter (coccyx to crown) and attain an overall better posture. You may even get an extra contraction of the anus increasing mula bandha strength.

Hoorah - another posture nailed. Give it a go, it's all about dropping the sitting bone. Think APANA VAYU, the downwards force, drop everything from the navel downwards towards the ground and its opposite force lifting everything from the navel upwards towards the sky. Great place to start for all standing AND sitting postures!

Kukkutasana - what?!

2012-01-29T21:16:00.000Z

So although I've been practicing for the past four years, I've only managed to nail padmasana (lotus posture) in the past 10 months. It's getting easier, very slowly mind you, but it is, the hips are working more on their own accord to move the knees closer together, feet staying on tops of thighs. I was in class today and B noticed that he'd never seen me do kukkutasana, although I've recently been doing garbha pindasana (only the rock and roll bit) in padmasana.

Why have I never even attempted kukkutasana? It's just never been part of my so called "full" primary series! So B demonstrated how to slide the arms through. He said that sliding the arms through diagonally also makes it easier. So I gave it a go and managed to get both arms through quite easily, albeit with my leggings on, think I will have to start wearing shorts now, (damn, note to self - must start shaving / tanning legs more) and wetting the arms for an easier entry, as it were! Apparently kukkutasana is a great posture for releasing the hips but protecting the knees by keeping the pressure off with the arms inside. It kind of makes sense. It felt a bit strange but great at the same time.

Backbends are getting deeper all the time, the drop backs definitely speed up the process somehow. Today I managed to move my hands in towards my feet three times, about 2.5 hand spans. I came up onto my toes, but it felt right to do that, like it gave me more momentum to come up on the inhale. Bendng the knees sure helps too when you walk your hands in. I will have to play with that on my own, I've only managed coming up once on my own, haven't given it much time since. Whilst I love the morning practice, I still feel like I'm rushed, even though I have a good 1:45 if need be. I might try Sharath's led DVD tomorrow morning. That's if I can walk by tomorrow morning....

Yesterday I went to a dance mets yoga workshop where the woman was getting us to prance across the room in a style which was akin to the warm up we had to do called "corner to corner" at gymnastics when I was young. My body is not used to doing things like this. It didn't like it and by the end I'd pulled my right calf muscle badly and my left shoulder!! I am also bruised head to toes from rolling around on the floor like I was ten. Safe to say I don't think I will be partaking in any further yoga meets dance performances, even if you do get to perform at the Olympic torch ceremony in Birmingham in July! I've been hobbling around all day like old man Steptoe. Great.

Shoulder blade bandha?!!

2012-01-19T20:22:00.000Z

Along with finding my sitting bones this week I have found the wonder which I call the "shoulder-blade bandha"!!

Now, I don't know whether this is actually a bandha, but, the impact on my posture by engaging this bandha has been incredible!

Ever feel like your arms are just floating in warrior II? Squeeze shoulder blades together, it opens your heart and you feel the benefit!!! Ever had your teacher come behind you whilst in upward dog and roll your shoulders back? Answer: Squeeze the shoulder blades - engage SB bandha! How a simple engagement can transform certain postures never ceases to amaze me. Forward bends, especially the Marichi sequence - engage the SB bandha. It opens the heart completely, "turning on the lights of the posture", as RF likes to remind us.

Talking of Richard Freeman, I see he is starting an interactive pranayama course. It's quite reasonably priced also, I might sign up, although it's at 2:30 am GMT, so I'd have to watch the recordings, but think it would be really helpful given this year in the BWY course, we have to do a pranayama diary. AND I've felt my breath being quite shallow recently, so anything that can build my breath to access the full range of it would be so helpful.

6 day a week morning practice..one month in....

2012-01-15T19:10:00.000Z

I haven't written for ages, but I've learnt so much this past month, so I thought I'd share some of it...

So that morning practice is going really well. I have stuck with the program, bar one morning when I had to swap practice with A&E after a minor car accident and a sore neck. (I think I can excuse myself on that one :) The dedication and knowing that the morning practice is there to be done is really important to me. It's changed my outlook on the way I'm living my life, I have more time in the evenings, decisions about my spare time are easier to make, it gives me focus and I don't find myself beating myself up about not doing practice, I just do. It's working out for me.

Recently I have found my sitting bones.

Hidden beneath my buttocks funnily enough ;)

So in one of my last posts I mentioned aswini mudra, the contraction of the anal sphincter muscles to give a deeper forward bend.. especially in the konasanas. Still working well for me btw. But I've worked out that it's more than just the mudra, its contracting those muscles but at the same time pushing the sitting bones into the floor. Can't believe for the past 4 years I have not been planting them into the earth, seems so simple, I just don't know how I have missed it?!! Guess that's the beauty of ashtanga research. Pressing down on the sitting bones grounds you, activates apana vayu and from there allows you to rise up and out of your pelvis, straightening the spine to its full potential. Feels so good.

Its improved all of my forward seated bends. The konasanas. Ubahya padangusthasana, urdva mukha paschimottanasana. Unbelievable.

But yesterday, REVELATION!

I've been struggling with navasana since I started practicing. 4 years later and I'm still in exactly the same place as I was when I started. How crap is that..? But now I've got all this time to practice I decided to research navasana. See whether there were other postures similar in the series which use the same muscles and try and work out why it is not working for me. So I tried ubahya pandangustasana (with newly found sit bone press and bandha engagement, stayed a breath or two in it to engage the psoas, released the grip, pointed the toes and......OMG it worked! Legs straight, feet a bit more pointing towards the ceiling Kino-style than eye level, but got it, Navasana - DONE!

Can't rave enough about a daily practice. And awareness. And body RESEARCH. It's all about the research! Research on!

Basti, basti boy!

2011-12-31T17:55:00.000Z

"Sitting in utkatasana, navel deep in water, insert a tube into the anus and contract the anus. This cleansing with water is called basti karma." (Hatha Yoga Pradipika - Verse 26, Chapter 2)

I began 2011 with a 3 session colonic hydrotherapy course, performed by a professional. The results were phenomenal. I had suffered from excess wind after eating *everything*, thought I had food intolerances, bloated when eating, just feeling that eating in general was a real bind, because the after effects were just hideous, ruining my social life and making me generally miserable.

I had my first colonic after Christmas. I felt amazing afterwards. My skin glowed, I could think more clearly, remembering more and felt more fluent in my speech. My 'wind' problem completely disappeared, the sole reason for me trying colonics.

I didn't realise until recently that colonic hydrotherapy was an ancient yogic cleansing technique which they called a 'kriya' and part of 'shatkarma' which is essentially cleansing the body from impurities before the beginning of asana, or yogic postures.

The HYP states that the by practising 'Basti' the appetite increases, the body glows, excess doshas are destroyed and the dhatu, senses and mind are purified. It completely washes the bowel and removes excess bacteria, old stool, threadworms and heat from the lower intestines. Most importantly it pushes apana vayu upward. Basti cures digestive disorders and is particularly effective in removing constipation, stimulating sluggish digestion, controlling nervous diarrhoea and strengthening the solar plexus. When the body is purified the chemical constitutions are in balanced proportion and the brain functions are simultaneously influenced and altered. when the body is pure the mind becomes stable, emotional reactions to external stimuli are altered and you will respond in a more relaxed manner.

I had my now *yearly* christmas / new year colonic yesterday and feel equally as good. I know it's probably not for everyone, although I always go on about it and probably in the most inappropriate of circumstances. i.e at the dinner table, but I confess... I'm a huge fan!

As a side effect, the colonic cleanse is an aid to kickstarting a more healthy diet and lifestyle for a lot of people. This year I gave up eating cheese and meat and it made a massive difference to my digestion. I recently started back on both but can feel the difference immediately and so I need to make tat choice again, to look after my colon. I don't care what anyone says, the colon is unbelievably important overall bodily and mental health, I completely believe in this. If you have any digestive problems just Google 'colonics' or 'yeast infections' or 'candida' and you may be amazed. I'll leave it there. I'm not saying it'll be great for everyone but if you have an issue that is ruling or ruining your life, then wouldn't you want to try everything to make that issue better?

Even if it means sitting in the middle of the Ganges with a piece of bamboo stuck up your arse??!!!! (I joke.. :)

The wonder that I feel is easy, Yet ease is cause of wonder...

2011-12-31T11:50:00.000Z

My new daily yoga practice has brought to me such gifts within the past two weeks. Every day goes by and I practice. Whilst I practice I hardly notice what is going on second to second, but then something happens between those seconds which alerts me. This week I have experienced the revelation, the key to the konasanas, and it may be, but is too early to tell, the key to forward bends in general (I have not yet had chance to explore further, next practise maybe).

So I was told by my teacher D that in Baddha Konasana, the one where you lean forward, the key is to curl your tailbone under and reach forward with your belly. I've been trying this for weeks now and it has definately worked for me, getting me deeper into the posture. Yet yesterday, as I was reaching forward not getting much deeper with the tail bone instruction, I engaged the anal muscles and pushed the anus down into the mat and..... OMG.

"Moolabandha 'The Master Key'" by Swami Buddhananda, described the anatomical aspects of what I found. He calls is Ashwini mudra, the anal area including the sphincter, ani externus and levitator any which consists of the pubococcygenus, iliococcygeus and puborectalis, i.e.. the anal muscles are contracted. So it wasn't the whole moolabanda that needed engaging this time but Ashwini mudra! What a subtle difference but an amazing one! I then tried it whilst in the sitting straight up baddha konasana and my knees immediately touched the floor and upavistha konasana and I held my chest towards the floor without having to hold the feet.

The contraction of the anal muscles (ashwini mudra) immediately resulted in the realisation of apana vayu in the body, grounding the body but at the same time samana vayu (the vayu that unifies the two opposite forces of prana vayu and apana) elevated the heart upwards from the navel resulting in the lengthening of the spine. The two opposing forces were balanced for that moment.

I don't want to say much more because I'l love you to try it for yourselves and let me know what you think. But what I would like to say is that sometimes over-thinking postures can hold you back from, well, realisation I guess, and sometimes the ease of the posture that is the essence of Patanjali's yoga lies within the gaps between these thoughts...

... in the stillness
Between two waves of the sea (Litlle Gidding, T.S.Eliot)

In need of some shatkarma...

2011-12-27T15:09:00.001Z

Oh my, I'm so full and have been for days.... why do we feel like we should eat soooo much at Christmas?! Yesterday I only had something small but it literally just filled me right back up to where I was Christmas day approximately 7pm....

I can't even bind my ankles in supta kurmasana.

The good thing is that my morning practice has not been let to slip. Oh no. This is it now, baby, forever...never question your decision to practice. It teaches you a lot. Make the commitment. You want practice to be harder? Eat and drink more, do it later in the day even, make it really hard for yourself! Punish yourself!! ..........I can't do it, just can't. I've punished myself too much over the years. Not now I've made this commitment to myself. To God? It's not going to be let to slip. The difference it has made already, in such a short period of time is too important to let go.

I need some shatkarma, kriya, some basti - colonic irrigation!!! That should sort me out!

The end of "dabbling" - 10 reasons to practice traditional Mysore style yoga!

2011-12-23T18:40:00.000Z

Last Wednesday I decided that Thursday morning I'd get up at 5am and practice the full primary series. I can't even remember now what state of mind I was in when I made this decision, had I had a moment of insanity??! Nevertheless, I did it, set my alarm for 5am, got up, had a cup of tea, had a shower and hit the mat.

I guess that something in my life had to change. My practice has mainly been in the evenings for the past four years, but with me now teaching as well as cooking, doing paintings and yoga homework, watching Come Dine With Me etc etc, my evenings were ridiculously busy, leaving little time for any other life pursuits. I have been thinking to myself recently and for a while it seems, "Why not try an early morning practice?" But I didn't even entertain it until Wednesday.

Isn't it funny how sometimes you have to catch yourself at the right moment? You know?

And it seems that I caught myself at exactly the right moment, when it WAS going to work for me and I've now maintained the 5am start for a week, a whole week! It's a bit momentous I have to say, I'm still quite taken aback by the ease of my commitment, but all I can say is that it MUST have been exactly the right time to do this. BTW it has been found that people are more likely to keep up a change of habit, e.g. quit smoking, if they just do it and do not wait until a certain date, for instance the 1st January.

The other thing is I haven't even been practicing 6 days a week. I know, I know, what kind of yogi am I?!!
But again, it was just fitting it in! I've also been blaming it on getting back to fitness..my knee injury and all that... I've been practicing 3-4 days a week since about April to let my knee repair. 6 has always seemed a bit excessive....for my knee!

No more excuses.

I have realised recently that I hate people making poor excuses not to do things. Especially things that are without a doubt are going to benefit them. I think it annoys me so much because I used to be one of those people and now I'm overly aware when I meet those with the same excuses. I'm not saying I'm perfect, I know I'm not, but I am aware that I have to make changes to benefit my life.

In the words of the Editors, "If something needs to change then it always will". People should make the changes if and when they need to be made. I know it's sometimes easy to say it, but take the chances when they arrive, and when the time is right to make the changes you will know and the best thing is, is that it will be amazingly easy!! JUST DO IT!

So, back to my practice. This week has been awesome. I've learned a lot about myself in just one little week. I have discipline when I thought I did not. I am a morning person. I'm not completely stiff in the mornings. I enjoy going to bed early!

I thought I'd try and find 10 reasons to practice early morning Mysore style ashtanga yoga. (There might be more, there might be less, let us see...)

1. You have more time in the evenings to do other pursuits as you don't have your practice to think about.
2. You will feel energised for the day's work.
3. It gives a focus to your day which you will always achieve.
4. You will feel a sense of achievement even before your "normal" day begins.
5. You will change other aspects of your life so that your practice is easier, for example, eating earlier and different foods, getting more rest, running less after money, indulging less, basically being more mindful and watchful.
6. You will become less lazy. (Contraversial?)
7. It will increase your ability to make other commitments.
8. It makes you more grateful that you can practice every day.
9. You will actually be able to listen to the World Service and shipping forecast. (Clutching at straws here?) (But I like it :)
10. You are more likely to catch a beautiful sunrise........ (My favourite reason) x

Reviled to revered... 10 steps to dropping back

2011-12-08T21:49:00.000Z

A year ago, if there was one posture which I would do as quickly and pathetically as possible was my backbend.

And hope that my teacher wasn't watching....

Yesterday I dropped back from standing, on my own, for the first time (According to D!) And it felt gooood! I've been working on dropping back for a relatively short amount of time, so I'm amazed at the progress I've made with back bending. In fact it's probably taken 15 practices (with a teacher) to get to this stage, which again, I find amazing, seeing as my back bending felt so alien, so recently.

So what's made the difference? I'd put it down to these points:

1. Pushing the pubic bone toward the ceiling in preparatory backbends.
2. Straightening the legs in prep backbends to strengthen/"switch on" the quads
3. Pushing the knees forward over the feet on the way up to gain a fuller arch and to create more work (in prep bbs)
4. When dropping back pushing the pelvis as far forward as you can before lifting the sternum and ripping back
5. Curling the tailbone under as much as you can as you drop
6. Lift out from the pelvis and upwards to maintain the arch as opposed to just bending from one point of the back (usually the lumbar region)
7. Imagine you are holding a pea in your navel when dropping back (whilst doing all of the above ;)
8. Lift your heels very slightly, to remove the fear of your feet sliding out from under you
9. Practice with walking your hands down the back of your legs, you'll be amazed at how quickly you will reach your ankles
9. Once you reach your ankles, push into your legs and toes, release hands and drop into place.
10. To come up, push away with an exhale, come up on an inhale, draw your arms down towards your thighs and keep your head back until your body is vertical.

Practice this and, to coin a phrase, "all is coming" ;)

Paths of least resistance...

2011-12-03T09:31:00.000Z

I truly believe that people find their ways into your life to serve a purpose for something or other, but ultimately to teach you. You might even not know what role they have to play straight away, it may be a while or it might be instantaneous, nevertheless, the reasons became apparent at some point, sometimes long after they've gone.

My yoga practice has given me a heightened awareness of when these people arrive. The ones who came ages ago, who didn't have too far to go (on their own journeys) have stayed, I held onto them... I cherish them. As every day goes by and life happens around me, sometimes my dreams go stale, these people awaken those dreams, bring me back to the present and breathe life back into me. When I was 30 a friend told me to make a five year plan, I was a bit lost and needed some guidance. I made the plan and I'm a few years in now, a couple of years to go. I kinda forgot what the plan consisted of, it involved my job, painting more, doing the BWY course and culminating in travelling to Mysore. I met someone at the weekend who re-kindled the smouldering ashes of my want to travel again and so I've decided to start planning. I'm intensely excited!

The path of least resistance would see me go to Boulder, Colorado to practice with Richard Freeman, or to Byron Bay to practice, chill and surf (if I knew how!) and hang out in the sunshine. My ego is trying so hard to drag me away from the smell, grime and illness of India, but I know that this has to be the first stop!! Nothing really worth doing is ever easy.

So on the topic of paths of least resistance, my yoga practice is becoming easy and this is never good. "Switch on the lights of the pose" says Freeman, to stop the body from falling into too familiar paths. It's good to practice under the guidance of a teacher when this begins to happen as they start to spot when you're being lazy. It's frickin' hilarious too, catching yourself or being caught, being naughty in class, missing out postures or not engaging bandha, it reminds me of how many muscles I have, how human I am!!

I love my practice at the moment, I love life and all who share it with me.

Bakasana to chaturanga - done!

2011-11-06T12:51:00.000Z

Again, it's been weeks since I posted... however, I don't feel so bad as I didn't have that much to say about the practice, but have been practicing a lot lately and really seeing some improvement.

I was practicing at home a lot over the past few months, but the motivation began to lack and I took myself off to a couple of new Mysore style classes I found at Stone Monkey Yoga & Cafe in Leamington. Digby the owner of the studio does one on a Monday straight after work, which is my perfect time, just what I need. I enjoy learning new techniques and tips from new teachers, albeit if sometimes they contradict other teachers' teachings! So I'm like doing, Monday with Ervin, Tuesday assisting Ervin, Wed with Digby, Thursday teaching my own new class, Friday with James and Sunday with Ben (Flowright.me). I love all of their teaching!!

One great tip which I hadn't heard before was given to mr by James in Birmingham (Buddhist Centre) on Friday, to assist in the transition from bakasana to chaturanga. I've spent the past 4 years being able to do bakasana no problem, but trying to lift my bottom to shoot back into chaturanga had eluded me! I just fell off like a lump onto the mat! Anyway, James explained it was all in the arms and that you have to just bend the arms and let you legs flop back. And it worked! I seriously couldn't believe it and screamed out in pleasure! James then told me to do it again and filmed me, and I did it again! It wasn't a lfuke! Yay!

Anyway, so this is my new favourite posture now! ;) And, funnily enough it has helped with my jump backs from sitting too! Amazing! I'm finally getting somewhere!

Another good thing about having 4 Mysore classes a week to go to now is that I get assisted drop backs 4 times a week, so really seeing a huge improvement with them.

So, really loving it at the moment, I have no time to anything else (apart from work) but loving every minute!! Ha ha!

My new favourite bandha

2011-10-05T21:41:00.001+01:00

OMG - I've just realised I haven't blogged for like 5 weeks. I hate myself already... But...I've got a good excuse, I've been renovating my house, 2 rooms at the same time, full overhaul, plastering, painting, the works, it's taken up so much more time than I originally thought, (and money), but I'm nearly finished now, just soft furnishings to do....TG.

Luckily, one of the rooms in my new yoga shala! So much more room, no cracks or imperfections in the wals to distract me from the practice, just a beautiful white room with wooden floor...bliss. My new bedroom is just the same, perfect white walls and ceiling, white carpet, japanese style bedroom furniture and minimalism...ZEN. Love it.

But I have been practicing, and I've so missed blogging.

My practice has been great recently. Loving it, as being so busy it really is a retreat from the stresses that surround me. I treated myself to a Liz Lark workshop run by Stone Monkey Yoga Cafe in Leamington last Sunday, it was fab, but I'm still feeling it today! Such a lovely woman, teacher and inspiration. I haven't been on any female yoga workshops, so this was a first, and I loved it. Very feminine, yet strong. She introduced pada bandha as one of her key concepts for grounding. I've read a little bit about it, in Mark Stephen's book on Teaching Yoga, but not found anything elsewhere, although it may be being taught more subtely elsewhere. Anyway, it's my new favourite bandha. The grounding you achieve from engaging the pada bandha is unbelievable. Utthita hasta pandangustasana was a breeze....backbendng taken to another dimension....

All by engaging the big toe and little toe and heel; try to lift the 3 toes in between to feel the connection, then place them back down on the floor. The magic triangle of big toe, little toe and heel was just amazing. I think what it does is engages the inner seam of the leg so that the upper thigh medially rotates (rotates inwards) giving your whole leg the strength it requires, instead of balancing on the ouer edge of the foot which I used to feel happened a lot.

I've been practicing lifting the 3 toes inbetween ever since and have mastered it! I tried it whilst dropping back on Monday and whilst before my feet would almost come off the floor when dropping back, this time with the pada engaged, I felt completely grounded, like the feet weren't going anywhere! The backbend also felt amazing because of it. Soooo good!

So thank you Liz, you've really inspired me and brought another dimension to my practice.! xx

Ashtanga and visualisation

2011-08-31T21:19:00.001+01:00

I've been meaning to post on this topic for a while now, but haven't got round to it. More recently I've also been doing a bit of renovation of the house, sorting out the guest bedroom and turning the dining room into a yoga practice space, which has involved selling all of the furniture in it... Sorry Mum, dinner round yours from now on, yeah?!!

Anyway, I'm de-cluttering my life...who needs all of this stuff anyway? Guess it'd be different if I had a family, but I don't, so, out it goes, dinner table and chairs, electric fire place, dining room paintings, the list goes on! I can't wait to post picture of the before and after :o)

SO I haven't practiced for a week due to chaos and my friend's wedding, but today's practice in the midst of dust and crap was suprisingly great. My body was uber flexible and I suprised myself as I got a really deep (head to shin) forward bend in the first surynamaskara. Now, I've never experienced this before, especially after a week off, but I'm putting it down to extra oestrogen, courtesy of the time of the month... Funny how the body changes isn't it? I can't even predict how my body will be anymore, I've even become allergic to sanitary products recently, how strange is that?! It's amazing, if something needs to change, it will find a way of telling you...

Anyway, so back to ashtanga and visualisation. I first realised the power of visualisation when I returned from my Portugal retreat and started to slow my practice down, to try to *really* heal my knees. In all the seated postures which previously aggravated them, I started to really go inside the joints which were working and try and feel where the tension was, where it needed releasing, where the *work* was going on and where it wasn't. By doing this, I realised that I could concentrate the *work* into the joint away from the knee. So, for example, in the Mari sequence I focussed on the hip working, instead of pressing the knee and strangely enough the work went to the hip and not the knee and low and behold, the hips started to release and the pain disappeared from the knee.......

The other way I've noticed visualisation working for me has also come from the teaching in Portugal. I was given assists, particularly in trikonoasana and parsvakonasana and the warriors. The assists were so-called 'resistance assists' where you'd push a part of your body into the hand or other part of the teacher's body, ultimately so that this would act as a lever to open your body up in a particular way (I've also seen this taught by Brian Cooper). For instance, in trikonasana, the teacher would ask you to press your outstretched hand into their solid hand which would open your chest... Once your body realises where it should be, you can visualise and recreate the pressing into an imaginary hand and you will get the same effect... something I have found really simple but quite amazing! Have a go and let me know what you think!

The posterior Stretch with Ramaswami and other stuff...!

2011-08-11T21:25:00.002+01:00

It's been a while since I posted but have done a load of home practice since then. I'm also back to my Friday Self practice class with J at the Buddhist Centre Birmingham, my teacher V's teacher and it feels great. V's away at the moment, has been for 3 weeks, so it's been ALL home practice apart from the resurrected Friday.

I have however taken over one of V's own classes in the week whilst he's away; I've done 3 so far and the numbers are growing every week which is really good news, kinda makes me think I must be doing something right! Yay! It's great for my own practice too, as I feel as if I have to practice in a way, especially immediately before class, in order to get focused and centred in order to to be able to teach exactly what I know. So my home practice has been boosted to 6 days a week.. the day off normally depends on energy, but is normally the Saturday or Sunday. I'm generally practicing straight after work too, like literally, coming home, having a cup of tea and straight on the mat. This takes me up til about 7:30, then I can make food, relax and do other stuff. I'm loving it :) Had some great news today...they're trialing home working, and given the speed I work at this could leave a lot of time in the morning to be able to do my practice and take my time, with no rush to get to work, park the car etc.. fab news, and my name is already down on the list! It also means cooking will be easier and more structured, two good meals a day, planned and executed and enjoyed!

SO anyway...my practice... today I've done ashtanga up to the seated sequence then had my first go at Ramaswami's seated posterior stretch sequence from the Complete Book of Vinyasa Yoga. I have to say that it was so much easier than the last sequence (asymmetric) that I practiced. I actually made it to the end of this sequence..not without a struggle mind you! I have to say that my work on padmasana is reaping me benefits...many more than I would've believed. This has changed my mind about padmasana being taught in the primary series... I've read a lot that this is an advanced posture which beginners should not practice, and I can understand why, cos of the unopen hips and the subsequent strain on the knee. However, you must persist with it to be able to do a lot in the 2nd series, in fact you must persist to do the kurmasana and konasana sequences in the primary. I think once you have padmasana under your belt then a lot more postures are open to you. The posterior sequence is great for the leg behind the head practice too.. my hips felt sufficently stretched (esp the posterior section) and I was amazed at how quickly and easily I managed a deep kurmasana and supta k, without doing the whole of the ashtanga seated sequence. I have to say that I can now get the leg behind the neck, still working on how to hold it there, training the hip muscles, but at least they've found their way :)

I did the whole of the posterior sequence then went on to finish with back bending. My back bending after all that forward stretching was difficult, purvottanasana was even further away than normal after doing all the forward bending, including kurmasama! Wow.. hard stuff.

But it did seem to open the hips a lot in prep for the back bending. I've been taking Richard Freeman's advice pushing up in the back bend just above the pubic bone, which has made an unbelievable difference..I feel as if I'm propelling my pelvis to the ceiling, feeling so high off the ground, such a great feeling. I'm even dropping to my forearms on the third back bend to prepare for kapotasana, trying to free up the inside of the forearms and strengthen the front of the shoulders, although Kapo is so far away.........

I'm loving my practice at the moment, not one bit seems to be a chore :)

The importance of foundations..

2011-08-04T12:35:00.000+01:00

This morning I practiced along with the Richard Freeman Primary Series DVD...with Richard in his lovely grey shorts against the oh-so-eighties blue and pink mountain-range backdrop (clip above)! Anyway, I haven't practiced with a DVD for a long time as I mostly self-practice and lately along with some music, such as stuff by Craig Pruess and other chants which sets a nice rhythm. However, I really enjoyed Richard's talk through and pickd up some lovely phrases and tips, especially one which clicked with me for the first time.

The cue to is whenever a leg is outstretched, so in samasthti, seated or lying postures, push away through the instep of the outstretched leg. I find this 'switches on the lights of the posture' (think is this actually a Freeman saying) by turning on more of the core muscles of the leg (don't ask me which ones!) which are important in keeping that 'strong' feeling and also stops the foot from rotating outwards.

I then thought, this also internally rotates the thighs slightly, which when bending forwards allows the sit bones to open more; this combined with scooping out the lower belly using uddiyana bandha allows for a really deep and comfortable forward bend.

The tip complements the cues I learnt in Portugal using spiral dynamics in downward dog. Slightly spiral the hands towards each other, almost imperceptibly; this externally rotates the arms so that the arm pits are turning to face each other; this then flattens the shoulderblades which are then free to slide down the back. I saw that I had a small curve in my thoracic spine in downward dog and by utilising this cue it irons out the curve perfectly. The little twinges I used to have in my right shoulder have also disappeared since using this technique, it's magic! Also, in downward dog, pushing into the instep slightly rotates the thighs towards the midline of the body to create space at the sacrem allowing you to push the tailbone to the sky! You just have to try it!

I think people underestimate the importance of the correct foundations and even now, 4 years from the beginnings of my practice, I find these techniques which have transformed my practice unbelievably! Every day I am amazed by the subtleties of a yoga practice!

Does anyone else find RF's 'lip licking' a bit off putting?! :)

Assymetrical Seated Vinyasa Sequence as taught by Ramaswami (...well, not quite..!)

2011-07-27T18:29:00.000+01:00

Today I decided to practice astanga up to the seated sequence, then give Ramaswami's Seated Vinyasa Sequence I shot, as I just felt like doing some sitting down!

This sequence works both sides of the body separately to help help correct any imbalances, so you follow a whole sequence on one side and then swap and do the same sequence using the other side. Ramaswami says inhis little intro that some Westerners are not particularly enthusiastic about doing seated postures, such as lotus, hero and tohers that involve the hips, knees and ankles, and I had a little chuckle to myself, cos that's been me for the past 4 years! Nevertheless, this sequence is ideally suited to safeguarding against an expanding waist line and 'bludgeoning thighs'!! So with this in mind I gave it a go!

The 'hub' pose for this sequence is dandasana, a difficult posture in its own right, although it appears an easy one when watched from the outside. Not only have I realised the importance of bandha in this posture but also 'switching on' the lower back at the same time to give that lift of the lumbar and thoracic spine and just how much work this involves. The next posture (niralamba dandasana) is for all intents and purposes dandasana but with the fingers interlaced and arms raised overhead to verticle and the chin locked, in a unsupprted dandasana. It's a lovely back stretch and you can see if your arms are far enough back and then adjust to get the correct alignment and after passing through a few of these, I began to really enjoy this stretch, although again, it's quite difficult.

The sequence begins with a variety of postures in marichiasana, which I'm obviously used to doing in my ashtanga practice, but man! WOW! Why did I find marichiasana so difficult without a bind!!! My hips did not like to be held in that position on their own, one little bit! It did make me laugh! Loved the different twisting versions, turning the torso away from the bent leg was a lovely stretch on the chest.

Not a fan of the counterpose for Mari though, like purvottanasana with one leg bent.. even with one leg bent it was difficult, and why didn't my posture look anything like the man in the book? I could not get my thighs parallel for love nor money!

Aaaah..but loving Matsyendrasana, could only do the bind on one side though which was disappointing but not surprising as I have a tight side which just showed up more in this posture.

The sequence then goes into a few postures which I am aware of from the Padmasana sequence, some variations of half-matsyendrasana in lotus were nice. But janusirasana with the twist of the chest towards the ceiling..omg... i have no length in my side muscles!! A great stretch but must be worked on!

I recognised the next 3 postures from the 2nd series of ashtanga. These were 'archer', kraunchasana and eka pada sirsasana. Archer wasn't far off but quite uncomfortable on one side and I don't know why.. Heron, which I thought I had no chance in, afetr all the preliminary postures, I amazed myself by getting the leg within a foot of my face - note to self - must remember the bandhas and lower back engagement in this one. I even then had a go at the elusive ekapada! The right hip not as loose as the left, but managed to get the leg behind the head to a certain extent on boht sides. This must be down to my progress in supta kurmasana, which I'm now holding for twice as long as normal and changing the leg on top half way through. But how on earth are you meant to keep your leg behind the head? My thighs felt like they were spring loaded and if I let go they shoot back into place taking my head with them! Funny... but progress nevetheless!

Anyway... so I got through half of the sequence more or less.. yes... only half.... but they are long sequences and the postures were just getting more difficult and I took myself to where I felt comfortable today, which is fine by me... honestly!

An Ashtanga Story by Norman Blair....a must read x

2011-07-21T21:17:00.000+01:00

THE BOX

BEING INSIDE LOOKING OUTSIDE:

AN ASHTANGA STORY

by Norman Blair

I would like to present this piece in the spirit of compassion, co-operation and communication. My thanks to Sri K. Pattabhi Jois, Sharat Jois and all teachers who have developed this practice and helped me along this path. The purpose of writing is to encourage debate and dialogue amongst practitioners. Some of what is written might be controversial but this is not a rocking of the boat simply for the sake of provocation. If I see an elephant in the room it needs to be said – even if that elephant is Ganesh. This is a heartfelt attempt towards understanding this tradition and the possibilities for transformation.

ONE DAY MANY YEARS AGO
There are endless beginnings: one beginning is a morning in March 1963 when I took my first breath (it was an inhale). Another beginning was a day in 1973 when a young American called David Williams turned up at a house in Mysore to ask its inhabitant – a Brahmin in his late 50s called Sri K. Pattabhi Jois – to teach him yoga. I was 10 years old: I imagine myself happily playing in short trousers without too many worries. David Williams was 23 years old and on a mission not only to find himself but also to discover a source of living long life. He had been inspired by stories of Indian yoga practitioners who did miraculous feats and lived forever and while travelling in India he came across a demonstration of physical prowess by a yogi called Manju Jois. Manju’s father was his teacher – hence the journey to Mysore.

This has been a journey subsequently followed by tens of thousands in search of…well something: something that might be variously described as a place of peace, a well of insights, a way of health. After months of intense study with Pattabhi Jois – which included 2 ½ hours of asana practice in the morning, a brief rest and then a pranayama practice – David Williams returned to the USA where he taught such people as Danny Paradise and David Swenson: the Ashtanga yoga wheels were rolling.

Fast forwards nearly 15 years: Ashtanga yoga is becoming firmly established in the USA. There is growing interest in this athletic and physically demanding form of yoga. It’s 1987 and Richard Freeman – a long established Iyengar yoga practitioner and Sanskrit scholar – meets Pattabhi Jois on one of the now regular tours that he’s making to the west (he first visited the USA in 1975). Now I was 24: an anarchist rebel struggling against the state and on the cusp of the second summer of love when we would find ecstacy teaching the white man how to dance.

Long gone were the short trousers: it was about to be baggy trousers. It was also in 1987 when Derek Ireland and Radha Warrell first went to Mysore: Derek and Radha being among the most important individuals in the introducing of Ashtanga yoga to western Europe. Six years later – 1993 – and I would start regular attendance at a yoga class that subsequently became an Ashtanga practice when the teacher studied with Derek and Radha.

TRAPPED OR TRANSFORMATIVE?
For more than 15 years I have been practicing Ashtanga yoga: first in led classes and since 1999 in the self-practice environment with a certified teacher. This has been a journey: from straining to touch my toes to a practice that has a level of smoothness flowing through the poses. But what I am interested in knowing is if this practice reinforces or reduces neuroses? We are all neurotic to a greater or lesser extent: we all experience differing levels of unease which in the words of Carl Jung are expressed as “restlessness, vague apprehensions, psychological complications”. There is a similarity to the kleshas of yoga philosophy: a translation is “torments of the mind”. A contrast to the kleshas is ‘metta’ (sometimes translated as “gentle”): can our practices lessen the kleshas and increase the metta? Can there be a diminishing of torments and a growing of gentleness? Are we trapped in Ashtanga or can it be transformative?

Richard Freeman wrote “as yoga students and teachers, we tend to become attached to and prejudiced about our own school and methodology… consequently it is not uncommon to simply rest on the superficial levels of the school we consider to be our own”. Might this be true for us Ashtangis? These are questions that puzzle me – perhaps I am looking for answers in writing this piece.

One criticism that comes from those outside Ashtanga is that of its self-declared ancient origins. Pattabhi Jois claimed to discover the original postural sequences on banana leaves (sometimes it was said to be palm leaves) that were a few thousand years old. Conveniently these leaves then promptly crumbled to dust leaving no evidence at the scene. Often when Pattabhi Jois recounted this story it would be with a smile – and as has been documented in books such as ‘Yoga Body’, the origin of the Ashtanga postural sequence is probably more about 19th century physical health movements in Europe than distant yogic texts.

On the basis of this evidence Ashtanga has been described as “fraudulent deception”– which somewhat misses the point. An authorised Ashtanga teacher said “one of the reasons I got into this yoga thing was because I was looking for an alternative to the likes of the creationist Christians…now looking at it, it is as if the whole raison d’etre of practice is based on a similar creationist myth”. But the important point is that for Indian religions this method is a tested way of introducing new ideas into tradition. Rather than Pattabhi Jois being a fraud, in fact he (along with his teacher Krishnamacharya) were original thinkers attempting to adapt and update their tradition. This practice of introducing innovation into tradition existed for example in Tibetan Buddhism (see footnote 1).

THE TURN TO SPIRITUAL PRACTICES
Far from being a fraud, Pattabhi Jois has been a significant figure in the western turn towards spiritual practices. The vehicle of Ashtanga has been a transmission belt for many people to enter practices they might not have considered. The athleticism of Ashtanga has been attractive to those who could dismiss yoga as navel gazing. Plenty of people have come to practices that they otherwise would have not been reached – which is great. Because in this western world (for all its material abundance and relative egalitarian openness) there is loss of meaning, there is breakdown of human community, there is lack of appreciation, there is unsustainable strain placed on environment. Cultures that were more contemplative have been replaced by absorption in distraction: rather than arts of storytelling we have fascination with celebrity and an endless parade of so-called information in the mass media. These are the anxious ages – though anxieties have been part of the human condition since the start of our species.

There is profound dislocation in modern society and not only are we dislocated, this is an unsustainable social structure. We are living out Easter Island (where they cut down all the trees and then civilisation collapsed) on a global scale. Despite the abundance, despite the great social gains of the last 150 years, this is our reality within the materialism of modern world.

That brings us back to the question: does Ashtanga yoga help in resolving such dislocations and this meaninglessness – in bringing us closer to places of insight and peace? For some people definitely yes and for some people probably no: because we are disparate individuals with our own storylines. So for one person Ashtanga can become a meditating in movement which creates ground for stillness and lucidity in mind. For another person Ashtanga is the basis for more striving, the struggling and the straining where we are simply replicating already present patterns in the fixation on postural success.

According to Richard Freeman “if you practice a system unwaveringly, something will remain unaddressed or unresolved and there is likely to be residue from the practice and some aspect of your life that remains unconscious”. We come to the requirement for paths to be plural – what can be problematic is that some people who are drawn to Ashtanga are the ones who might need it least: what could be called the type A success oriented personality.

PERSONALITIES
It’s these personalities – and there are many of us like this – who are easily caught in the ladder of Ashtanga yoga: climbing through the postures so practice just strengthens the wanting mind. One experienced student came back from a week retreat with a certified teacher stating “I was the worst practitioner there” – when the actual reality is that she has a strong practice. Ashtanga can be such a hard taskmaster with its narrative principally written by winners rather than losers. One senior teacher said “that’s why you get such good results” (which some would query). But how many have to be broken on the wheels of rigidity and dogma?

It is these wheels that can cause the failure to point out the obvious (such as jumping straight into chaturanga can damage shoulders, such as turning feet out for drop-backs can damage knees). The acrobatic aspects of practice does mean that the inherently flexible rise up the hierarchy of teachers more rapidly then others. Admired for their circus skills, maybe more essential aspects of teaching – such as personal integrity, ethical foundations, empathetic connection – are not as well developed.

This wanting mind means that we might be less likely to critique the way that these postures are adjusted by teachers: some adjustments are verging on brutal because of that drive to be getting further on through the sequence. There are the nightmare stories of over-enthusiastic teachers struggling to force round pegs of individuality into what could be viewed as the square holes of Ashtanga.

Too many adjustments have been done with too little awareness and rather than the body being a temple, it becomes a battlefield to be bullied into perceived perfect posture. How many authorised teachers have broken people’s knees in postures such as bhekasana or garbha pindasana – and certified teachers breaking femurs in Marichysasana B? And the many examples of everyday Ashtanga teachers causing injury through too much zeal, too much attachment to how a posture should be (and also of course making mistakes – that human fallibility).

CONDUITS FOR CONNECTION
But at the same time adjustments – when done well – are a powerful way of encouraging and enabling practice: showing us what is possible within the body, gently leading towards places where we probably thought that we would never arrive, a genuine conduit for connection. This requires skill and sensitivity to ensure that adjustments are not just a copying of what someone else has done: that the adjusting arises from a place of care and love. Because often this does not happen – at times when being adjusted I have wondered where is the love.

There has been no serious attempt made to study the rate of injuries amongst Ashtanga practitioners – there do seem to be a number of sensitive shoulders and sore backs. And those knee operations that are held up almost like badges of battle honours, the long-term practitioners who experience degrees of discomfort in their bodies. But it has to be noted that this applies to other yoga styles – two teachers (one teaching since 1985 and the other from the early 1990s) told me that as much as there are knee issues with Ashtanga practitioners, there are hip issues with Iyengar practitioners. Both of these teachers trained and taught within the Iyengar tradition before branching out.

There is anecdotal evidence of long-term intense yoga practice wearing out joints – though it could be said that so does life. If it’s all about sitting in padmasana surely something has gone wrong somewhere? And it’s not just about sitting in padmasana – in Ashtanga it’s sitting in padmasana always leading with the right foot. This might have been one of the straws that broke the camel’s back for a third series practitioner – she simply said “I got fed up with putting the right foot in first”.

ASHTANGA AS HEALING
Yet I know several people who have experienced significant healing from conditions such as cancer or chronic fatigue thanks to their Ashtanga practice. There are many examples of sick people getting better because of Ashtanga – practice definitely has the potential to be healing. One reason is that this strong stretching of the physical body can be highly therapeutic as there is releasing of held tension and a breaking down of emotional tightness. It is unquestionable that Ashtanga can be healing: but this does not mean that we cannot question the how of practice and encourage a wider perspective beyond physical postures.

And maybe one reason why it might have gone wrong sometimes is the arrogance that often attaches itself to Ashtanga. Of course arrogance isn’t solely reserved to Ashtangis: other systems and styles can be greatly arrogant. But within Ashtanga there can be an arrogance that accompanies a high level of physical proficiency – yet one of the few certainties in this highly uncertain world is that over time physical proficiency declines: so if there is an attachment to that, then inevitably there is greater suffering.

Two meditation teachers illustrated these difficulties: Tsokyni Rinpoche said “one of the pitfalls when hatha yogis use the body solely is arrogance” (footnote 2). Rigdzin Shikpo wrote: “physical yoga develops both power and feelings of power…the feeling of power that comes from the successful practice of yoga can be used to manipulate others…success in physical yoga can also produce pride…it takes significant effort to accomplish this kind of practice, although it’s nowhere near as difficult as working directly with the mind”.

This attachment to power and physicality could be called “the tantra of Ashtanga” – and it is true that amongst yoga systems, Ashtanga is one of the closest to tantric hatha yoga practices with its emphasis on breath, bandhas, drishti. There is an approach of sacred body which draws inspiration from tantra – but to balance dangers of over-attachment, tantric practitioners would live in charnel grounds to watch the decomposing of bodies: flesh rotting away, falling off bone, being eaten by birds and other animals. Maybe us modern Ashtangis could go to crematoriums and work in hospices as a reminding of the inevitability of physical impermanence: getting ever fitter or being botoxed will not prevent sickness, old age, death.

FLEXIBILITY AND INFLEXIBILITY
As well as this attaching and arrogance there can be inflexibility amongst long-term practitioners, which is ironic considering the levels of physically flexibility. The teacher verbally assaulting a student when they wanted to practice elsewhere – the teacher refusing to let one of their students assist another teacher – the certified Ashtanga teacher who said to a student when she asked if she could use a block: “no, that’s not yoga”.

Yet there are numerous examples of teachers acting with great generosity and kindness, encouraging and enabling their students, assisting other teachers to set up their own classes even when that is in ‘competition’ with them. These teachers being beacons on a path. However there is a tendency amongst some teachers towards controlling – rather than sharing, there is a reaction where behaviour is defensive and sectarian: blind faith might lead to blindness. This calls into question aspects of what we are practicing.

One suggestion for such behaviour is the sheer speed of the practice – holding postures for five breaths is an advanced form and the breath easily becomes shallow. Despite Pattabhi Jois’ instruction – according to Lino Miele: “teaching a long breath…a practice of ten seconds each inhalation, ten seconds each exhalation” – often the breath is much shorter. Research has shown that when shorter breath is combined with vigorous physical movement we go more into the sympathetic nervous system. It’s the sympathetic nervous system that is fight, flight, freeze – and here we become defended and individualised. In the parasympathetic nervous system there is much more ability to connect: that’s a system of tending and befriending, resting and digesting.

This suggestion that practicing Ashtanga could be pushing us into the sympathetic nervous system needs consideration. Fast breathing is demonstrated in Sharat’s audio CD of the primary series: each pose (not including entry and exit) takes about 20 seconds. With the five breaths in each pose this means that there are four seconds per breath which is an inhalation in two seconds and an exhalation in two seconds. The rapidity of this breath along with strong physical movements might be putting us into that fighting flighting freezing nervous system: where rather than openness and inclusivity, abundance and compassion there is control and rigidity.

Because isn’t a point of this practice to encourage openness and inclusivity, abundance and compassion? This isn’t a matter of adept physicality (if it was, then this is just gymnastics) – it is a matter of transforming consciousness so there is an increasing of insight balanced by loving-kindness. But sometimes it doesn’t feel like that within the Ashtanga box.

There is rivalry, there is competitiveness, there is lack of dialogue and defending of empires. Of course this is true of many aspects of life and it has been said that Ashtanga is just a mirror that brings up the existing tendencies. But a practice within Buddhism is that students are encouraged to spend time with teachers from different traditions which might help to undermine such tendencies. This is not so true within Ashtanga with its emphasis on “practice, practice and all is coming”.

SOMETHING’S GOING TO HAPPEN
But what kind of practice? Many Ashtanga practitioners just do the physical practice: that postural sequence. One practitioner told me how as he went through the third series he really thought something was going to happen when he got to the end: but nothing did. He then finished the fourth series – and still nothing happened: maybe that is the lesson in itself. His practice now is the standing sequence several times a week and a sitting practice. When talking about other teachers he said “I need to look inside myself and wonder if there is any animosity towards that person”.

This practitioner’s honesty was significant – in contrast possibly to others who are more in the realm of physicality. Because it is in stillness of sitting that there might be more possibilities for self-reflection and maybe growing of awareness. Ashtanga can help us to be aware and reflective but this ‘movement as meditation’ proposal which is presented by those who are only doing the physical practice could be lacking in validity for many of us.

We entertain ourselves with movement thus keeping the distractions at arms length as we stay addicted to stimulation. In the stillness and simplicity of sitting there are opportunities for observation that are not so present when we are moving. And if we are able to embrace the boredom of meditation it becomes more like equilibrium in which we could be free from that craving for entertainment – and our need to grasp happiness and fight discomfort is gradually relaxed.

As we move from pose to pose there is clearly a requirement for attention (a studying of body and breath) but we can just become fixated in this body and not go as deep within as a stillness practice might perhaps enable. As well as a lack of validity, this breaks one of the traditions that Ashtanga is upholding: the tradition that the physical postures are preparations for sitting and meditation – the sixth and seventh limbs: dharana and dhyana. In all the sweating and the striving of much Ashtanga these limbs seem to be have been marginalised.

I love the Ashtanga practice: I love the power that it gives to me – I love its flow and the concentration required for practicing: yet I feel that there is a lack somewhere. The fascinations with flexibility ignore the fact that we can have highly flexible bodies but tight minds. It’s often forgotten that for nearly all of us this brain is the stiffest muscle. The common failure to encourage practitioners towards other forms such as pranayama and sitting mean that Ashtanga stays as a sequence of physicality. And the intensity of practice lessens the probability that people will look outside the box (this can be a cult characteristic).

MENTAL CLEARING
A number of practitioners have said to me that they do not have the time to meditate. Obviously there are many demands on time: the childcare commitments, the struggle to survive in this world – but it’s about what we prioritise. Pattabhi Jois called meditation “mad attention” and he never taught anyone to sit. The truth is that it is much easier for us to ground ourselves in body instead of this mind that is so like a chimpanzee caught in a cappuccino bar: the busyness and things to do. But Pattabhi Jois also said “this is not physical practice, this is mental clearing”. At some point we have to investigate mind. We need to be reminded that “the purpose of asana is to tune our body in such a way that we can sit for long hours in meditation” (the words of SL Bhyrappa who studied with Pattabhi Jois in the 1970s).

Essentially when the perception is of primacy of the physical practice that means a prioritising of physiques over mind training. Obviously there is very significant overlap and an intimate connection between mind and body: but there are differences in techniques for body and mind. Norman Allen (one of the first westerners to be taught by Pattabhi Jois) was asked “how far do you think the physical practice can take you?” His reply was succinct: “in most cases probably nowhere without taking other steps”.

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche is the spiritual leader of Shambhala which is a network of Buddhist centres set up by Chogyam Trungpa. He studied with Pattabhi Jois and is an Ashtanga practitioner. He talks of the need to bridge gaps between meditative forms – some of which are called ‘Buddhism’ – and physical forms – some of which are called ‘yoga’. In describing these meditative forms Sakyong Mipham emphasised “to understand what is going on we have to stabilise the situation…we have to slow down and get a feeling of who we are and what we are doing…through the practice of meditation we learn to penetrate the confusion of our minds and our perceptions”.

We have our well-toned Ashtanga physiques but ultimately so what – where’s the liberation from conditioned existence when we can see the rope is actually a rope (far too often we think it is a snake), where we experience insight into phenomena and are connected to compassion?

SNAKES AND ROPES
Both Pattabhi Jois and Chogyam Trungpa would have very probably seen that the rope is a rope. Both came from places of having no students from outside their own cultures (South Indian Brahmin and Tibetan) to being enthusiastically followed by thousands of westerners. Both displayed an approach that has been called the trickster (this is meant in a positive way and comes from the words of Richard Freeman). As they went on there was a making up regulations and on occasion fooling their students to help the waking up process.

Yet as their spheres of influence grew there arose problems. One of those close to Chogyam Trungpa was Reggie Ray – in an interview he said: “He worked with us each individually but later his teachings were converted into this sort of step-by-step process with a somewhat rigid curriculum. We all relied too much on trying to pin everything down mainly because I think our community was so large and we couldn’t think of any other way to do it. I think this was a mistake because beginning in the later 1970s we were running things the only way we knew how which was to fall back on a lot of rules to try to preserve what he had taught”. (See footnote 3).

Having been in this box for a period of time, it is interesting to look back and observe the changes: from not touching my toes to folding flat forwards – from fearing headstand to standing on my head for a long time – from that first inhale to the young boy in short trousers to those baggy trousers and anarchist politics to now. By looking backwards we can understand how much change is present in life. An obvious example of this change was the death of Pattabhi Jois in May 2009 – the successor has been his grandson, Sharat.

INTERESTING TRANSITIONS
The death of the guru can be an interesting transition: the guru often feels free to make it up as they go along (there is freedom in being the guru while the disciples are more rigid). Recently there appears to be a tendency towards corporatisation of Ashtanga into a brand more like Bikram: an increasing strictness of sequence (Pattabhi Jois introduced postures into the practice over the years); growing emphasis on money-making (one practitioner said a two week teacher training in Mysore could have been easily condensed into two days – and 70 people were present each paying £1000 to ensure their placing in the hierarchy); moving towards studios that are centrally controlled.

Is Ashtanga going to become trademarked as a way of preserving control and maintaining income streams? Transformation might be evolving into a business – like Bikram (how many Rolls-Royces, Rolexes and law suits does one man need (see footnote 4)). How can we avoid the corporatising of a practice that promises liberation, the institutionalising of a philosophy that preaches freedom?

A question that has to be asked is whether we are being empowered as individuals – with qualities such as insight, kindness, autonomy – or are we being diminished and controlled? Part of the problem is that the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. This is challenging work – but necessary for transformation: being aware, being vigilant, being awake. In many ways it’s much easier to just stretch this body and perhaps partially delude ourselves that we are on a spiritual journey.

DIFFERENT STROKES
Maybe it’s a journey that takes a very long time – BKS Iyengar said “the philosophical teaching came to me only after 1960” (about thirty years into practicing and teaching). But do we have the luxury of that length of time – especially when there are many calls for us to sit down and watch the contents of this mind, especially when we are at this stage of so much speeding up? This doesn’t mean enlightenment in one lifetime. What it does mean is that considering all current circumstances then stuff has to shift: are we shifting quick enough?

There was a Zen teacher in the 13th century – Dogen: when he returned from a long period of retreat, he was asked what he had bought back. His reply was simply “a soft and flexible mind”. That reminds me of a journalist asking the Dalai Lama “when were you happiest?” – the answer was “now”. Obviously both Dogen and the Dalai Lama had gone through very long periods of training but these responses – the soft and flexible mind, the experience of happiness right now – does show what might be possible: a lessening of unease, a greater ability to be present: not so neurotic. A young American – Alan Clements – who undertook a rigorous meditation training in 1970s Burma described his experiences as: “awareness put eyes and ears where there had been none…it enhanced perception and revealed greater nuance…sounds were accentuated…colours became brighter…tastes more subtle and sweeter…smells more fragrant…I fell in love with the simplicity of just being”.

Can Ashtanga help us to get to such places – my answer is “I’m not sure”. It can be a stepping stone, part of paths towards awareness – but too often it becomes too stuck, too rigid, too fixated.

WHAT’S GOING ON
Having examined to some extent this Ashtanga culture it is important to remember that there are flaws and failings within all traditions. The life expectancy of Zen monks in Japan is significantly less than average – another example of the harshness within Zen is when a student was experiencing the appearance of a nervous breakdown, the teacher told her “if you feel you’re dying, please die peacefully”. A long-term teacher encountered the rigidity within orthodoxy when she was informed by a meditation centre that “if you don’t give up walking meditation, give up your body movement that we hear you are doing, your mixing Zen practice in, then you are not belonging to our lineage”.

Some meditators can be distant and dry and disconnected – using the tool of meditation as an avoidance strategy to lessen engagement with living life. And in the Buddha’s own time there were splits within the community one of which (according to old texts) culminated in an assassination plot against him by a senior monk. Striving – and the consequent envy – occurs in meditative experiences as much as Ashtanga experiences. Someone recently told me that “I am jealous of my friends’ having sartori experiences”. I reassured him that he had no need to be envious of me as I had not had such events.

In this writing and thinking (it has taken two years to put together this piece) it is worth remembering words from the 7th century teacher Chandrakirti: “attachment to one’s beliefs and aversions for another’s view – all this is thought”. I am conscious that some of these constructs that have been used are just fleeting mental formations. This is human nature – as much as we breathe and we bend how easily we find division and discord. On occasion this has benefits but at times it is about building brands and defending empires.

What intrigues is how well certain paths serve a purpose in our practicing to be better human beings: a problem is that waves see themselves as separate from the water (and then there is that fear which arises from separation). A purpose of practice is dealing with this unsteadiness that one commentator beautifully described as “the mind is more than capable of seeing a stationary blue car and constructing out of it a six act melodrama”. A purpose of practice is to overcome our mistaken perceptions, to enable us to connect inside and outside so we can discover what many traditions describe as the luminosity of mind where there is insight and peacefulness: a brightening of the inner skies.

Some people get stuck and some people don’t: this vehicle of Ashtanga is a powerful transformative practice but all of us need to look at our practicing with an approach of curiosity. I am just one person attempting to make some sense of what is around me – like a young boy faced by the emperor’s new clothes I have to try to see with clarity. Hopefully this piece will deepen our debates and discussions about the meaning of practice. My own feeling about Ashtanga is great affection and respect – but there is much fixation on the external form. Rather than all the sweating and all the striving, practice as a gentle daily ritual with less attachment to asana could have more possibilities for deeper impact. A question for us as practitioners is – in the words of the religious scholar Huston Smith: are our practices “enhancing awareness, patience and generosity and enabling us to respond creatively to the complexities, distractions and uncertainties of modern times”.

I think that there is a requirement for other flavours on particular paths – you could call it a seasoning of path: because otherwise the path might be too tight where there is a tautness which becomes neurotic. The point is this self being less stuck so that in the words of a poet there is a realisation that “we are a process and an unfolding”. There aren’t any particular answers: it’s more how honest can we be with ourselves and how much can we temper that honesty with kindness. The hope is to keep questioning and to stay as open as we can: to feel our way towards a more easeful existence.

Thanks to all those who have talked to me and helped me along these paths.

Norman Blair June 2011

www.yogawithnorman.co.uk for more writings on practicing yoga and ideas of self-transformation. Norman108@clara.co.uk for any comments/suggestions/feedback.

38 reasons to practice yoga!

2011-07-21T21:13:00.000+01:00

BEING HEALTHY – BEING HAPPY PRACTICING YOGA…

I found this and thought I'd share.. Micqui x

Well, we all know that yoga is (by and large) good for us – that’s what keeps us coming to the mat week after week. We know this from our own personal experience but here’s another thirty eight ways how yoga can improve your health.

flexibility – quite simply regular practice improves flexibility – which can diminish aches, pains and poor posture.
strength – strong muscles protect us from conditions such as back pain and arthritis.
standing tall – letting the head be at the top of the spine (rather than forwards or backwards) is one of the great benefits of yoga.
joints – by taking joints through their range of movement, it ensures that they stay open and healthy.
spinal discs – like joints, they need movement to stay healthy – and yoga provides the movement that they crave.
bones – weight-bearing exercises strengthen bones and helps ward off conditions such as osteoporosis.
blood flow – yoga gets the blood flowing which improves circulation and gets oxygen to your cells.
lymph lesson – by contracting and stretching muscles, the drainage of the lymphatic system is increased.
heart start – by regularly getting your heart into the aerobic range, this lowers risk of heart attack and can relieve depression.
pressure drop – studies indicate that practice of yoga (particularly savasana) can relieve high blood pressure.
brain tendencies – as yoga lowers cortisol levels in the body, this protects the immune system, improves the memory and can diminish craving behaviour.
happy hour – one study found that consistent yoga practice improved depression and led to a significant increase in serotonin levels.
weight matters – move more, eat less: yoga is movement and it can encourage you to address eating and weight problems on a deeper level.
low show – yoga has been found to lower blood sugar levels and boost HDL (‘good’) cholesterol.
brain waves – studies have found that regular practice improves co-ordination, reaction time, memory and even IQ scores.
nerve centre – yoga shifts the balance from the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight response) to the parasympathetic system (calming and restorative).
space place – regularly practicing increases proprioception (ability to feel what the body is doing and where it is) and improves balance.
control centre – some advanced yogis can induce unusual heart rhythms, generate specific brain wave patterns and raise temperature of their hands by 15 degrees F.
loose limbs – by relaxing the body (shoulders, hands, eyeballs…) we can diminish chronic tension, muscle fatigue, soreness in joints and stress levels (which can decrease number of bad moods).
chill pill – yoga can provide relief from the hustle and bustle of modern life, giving a break for the nervous system and improving sleep quality.
immune boom – physical practice probably improves immune function but the strongest evidence is for meditation in terms of supporting the immune system.
breathing room – people who practice yoga tend to take fewer breaths of greater volume which is both calming and more efficient – and lung functioning is improved.
poop scoop – yoga can ease constipation and twisting poses may be beneficial in getting waste to move through the system.
peace of mind – yoga quells the fluctuations of the mind according to Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra: slowing down the mental loops of regret, anger, fear, and desire.
divine sign – yoga can help us to glimpse that we are worthwhile: and a foundation of worth leads to feelings of gratitude, empathy and forgiveness as well as a sense that we’re part of something bigger.
pain drain – yoga can ease levels of pain according to studies and when pain is relieved, mood is improved and there is less need for medication.
getting disciplined – yoga can help to make changes in life: through the discipline of regular practice, we can become more disciplined in other areas of life.
drug free – studies have shown that people with, for example, asthma take lower dosages of medication when they practice yoga, so reducing bills and minimising side-effects.
anger attack – yoga and meditation build awareness which makes it easier to break free of emotions such as anger and hostility and increases ability to remain steady.
good relations – a regular yoga practice helps develop friendliness, compassion and greater equanimity and this has a beneficial impact on our relationships.
sound system – practices such as chanting prolong the exhalation which shifts the balance towards the parasympathetic nervous system (meaning more calmness).
vision quest – contemplating an image in the mind develops the ability to guide imagery which can effect changes in the body.
clean machine – from breathing exercises to gentle sluicing of nasal passages with salt water, yogic practices are cleansing for the inner body.
karma yoga – serving others can give meaning to your life and your problems may not seem so daunting when you see what other people are dealing with.
healing hope – unlike much conventional medicine, in yoga it’s what you do for yourself that matters: involvement gives you the power to effect change and seeing that you can effect change gives you hope.
connective tissue – one of the great lessons of yoga: everything is connected, all is intensely interwoven, from hipbone to anklebone to community to world.
placebo power – just believing you will get better can make you better, so if something facilitates healing (even if it’s so-called ‘placebo’) why not do it?
the pleasure principle – because it can be so enjoyable: not always, but most times, taking our place and moving through postures and experiencing the body and maintaining focus can be enormously enjoyable.

This information has been taken from ‘Count on yoga’ by Timothy McCall (Yoga Journal January 2005)

Norman Blair

www.yogawithnorman.co.uk

2 binds in Mari D!

2011-07-14T13:16:00.000+01:00

Another mini triumph this week with managing to bind on both sides in Mari D! It hurt, it hurts the top of my feet! But it's getting better, well, easier, each time I do it, and the more padmasana practice i do the less it will hurt I guess.

Backbends are no longer the horrible experience they used to be. I have so much more strength in my arms now and I've worked out exactly where to place my hands and feet to minimise any twinging in my right shoulder and to fire up the quads. I even do an extra backbend in my sequence now cos I love them so much!

I'm loving my practice at the moment, I think it's because I'm listening to my body more and more and learning what it can do when I'm in the right frame of mind. I just wish I had more time. I wish I didn't work full time and could fit in more practice! I will get there, I'm slowly getting the wheels in motion for working for myself, a new lodger is on the horizon for a bit more extra cash, and I'm going to be taking my first yoga classes in a couple of weeks time if all goes to plan..!

My first attempt at a Ramaswami-style Vinyasa Krama Sub-routine

2011-07-10T21:13:00.001+01:00

The Lotus Pose Sequence...(http://vinyasakrama.com/)

In an attempt to practice my newly found padmasana, I took Grimmly's (http://grimmly2007.blogspot.com/) advice, bought Ramaswami's The Complete Book of Vinyasa Krama and tonight I did my first sequence... Well, it wasn't exactly the *whole* sequence, but, seeing as the full padmasana is completely new to me, I took it as far as my body would allow!

I warmed up with 5 sury a's and 5 b's, did the half-lotus subroutine. Kashyapasana is a bitch so had to use both hand on floor to hold me up although I think with time the use of bandha in this posture will reap me benefit. The bound twists (ardha Matsyendrasana) were lovely, really enjoyed those! The counter pose which is like a padmasana-ified purvottanasana (which I hate) I also found very difficult, but with every breath I let gravity do its thing and could feel my hips letting go which in fact ended up feeling great.

This leads to the full lotus posture sequence where I repeated entering padmasana vaying the entering leg, 4 times until my ankles started to really hurt (they're still not sitting *high* on my thighs which I think its the problem here). I had to keep coming out of the posture so missed out the next few postures and went into a forward bend and then utpluthih. By this time my ankles were really aching so changed to a half-lotus version and did some forward bends over each of the lotused thighs. From just doing this sequence my hips felt really loose and I had another go at full lotus which immediately felt better. I then had another mini-triumph and managed baddha padmasana for the first time ever! To finish I did a Matsyasana variation with forearms on the floor and tried to enter upward facing lotus, but as I lifted my hips I could feel a big strain on the ankles, so came out and entered savanasa.

Wow... If there is anything one could practice to deepen their lotus, this is the routine! Beginning to see the benefits of using vinyasa krama as an aid to open certain parts of the body and how this would benefit your ashtanga practice. Sometimes I just don't feel like battering my entire body with ashtanga, but do want to do some form of practice. Recently I've used a bit of yoga nidra instead, but really it's a bit of a cop-out especially when there's actually nothing physical which is stopping me from practicing asana. SO here it is, a new kind of practice which I can fit in around my ashtanga and which I think will open parts of my body which don't get enough attention during my regular ashtanga practice!

PS - Thanks Grimmly!

"Sprung up" to Utpluthih!

2011-07-04T22:36:00.000+01:00

Finally, the rest from all the jump back and throughs, the work on opening the hips in all the lotus postures in standing and sitting has paid off, tonight I managed utpluthih for the first time ever! Yay! This is the first time in the life of my yoga practice that I got into what looked and felt like a proper lotus posture, my hips rotated outward and downward just enough to let the tops of my feet rest comfortably on my thighs and, thank god, not one twinge in my knees!

So how did I get there? Well, I have stopped all this jump back and through on every side nonsense in my home practice and have spent more time concentrating on 'opening' my hips. This has involved spending more time carefully entering the postures such as ardha baddha padma paschi, marichi a, b, c and d, and making sure that the knee is completely closed, the heel is brought high into the belly button then the hip is allowed to slowly rotate forward, out and down allowing for the top of the foot to sit on the thigh.

The extra breaths spent in these postures, coupled with concentrating on where I'm feeling the tension, has strangely enabled me to let go of any tension (or is it fear?) in the knee joint and the hips have consequently opened up. This has obviously had a knock on effect for the likes of kurmasana and supta k; and at the weekend I actually managed to get the feet behind the head (even it is was one at a time!)..

It was funny because I sat and thought about utpluthih for a couple of seconds (I normally just do crossed legs in the 3 final lotuses) and then thought, lets give it a go, and hey! There it was! I took a deep breath and thought am I going to be able to hold myself off the floor? And yes I could! All I can say is, it is a bit of an achievement and highlight of my last couple of months of practice. I might become one of these people you see sitting in half or full lotus on their chairs at work, just to keep working on it! I might give that a go tomorrow.

Whilst I know it sounds a bit sad, I kinda feel like a proper yogi now I have done a full lotus without having my knees somewhere round my ears! But I know it's not about that, it's about time and patience and man, have I given these hips of mine time and patience - 4 bloody years! My practice has got to a stage where everything seems to be falling into place and it feels good!

Sthira sukham asanam...Asana is a steady, comfortable posture....

2011-06-19T20:14:00.002+01:00

..Really?!!!

Now, I've been practicing yoga for 5 years now, and in the last 1.5 years practicing 4-5 times a week. I would say that I am dedicated to my practice, and if you asked any of my friends and family, well they would say the same (as they have to make an appointment to see me based around my yoga practice)!

OK, so I don't get out of bed at 5:30am and hit the mat; Sometimes if I feel tired, I'll make my excuses (to myself of all people??!) and bail out of my home practice; I'll sometimes begin my practice with the intention of a full primary series with full vinyasa and maybe, sometimes, half way through the seated sequence start to miss out the jump backs between sides and then the odd posture (normally post-supta kurmasana) and possibly just hit the finishing sequence. But in my mind, I'm dedicated to my self-practice.

11.46 of Patanjali's Yoga Sutras states that asana is a steady, comfortable posture. Maehle (2006) describes the meaning of the sutra as a posture must have the two qualities of firmness and ease. After describing the effects of the yamas (restraints) and niyamas (observances) he goes on to mention asana, posture practice. However, his description of the third limb he describes in just 3 stanzas, where others have a longer address. Patanjali, according to Maehle, uses two qualities that are diametrically opposed to describe posture: firmness and ease. If the posture is to be firm, effort will be required-contraction of muscles that will arrest the body in space without wavering. Ease on the other hand implies relaxation, softness, and no effort. Maehle contends that Patanjali shows that that posture cannot be achieved unless we simultaneously reach into these opposing directions. These directions are firmness; inner strength, and the direction of ease, which brings relaxation.

Now, my ashtanga vinyasa practice is, in my opinion, quite firm; as my body is gaining in strength, I am able to hold postures in correct alignment, I have become more flexible (although flexibility seems to be taking a longer time to build than strength); little by little my practice and my body is improving; little by little the first two limbs (yamas/niyamas) of ashtanga yoga are making more sense and establishing themselves into my life; I feel healthier in body and mind and less susceptible to negativity and fluctuations of mood, God, I'm even teaching yoga to others!

So why, if I am living my yoga practice, the restraints and observances, and the asanas, do I feel further away from 'ease' in a simple seated position, than I ever have before?! I've given up my free time for my yoga asana practice, I've given up meat, wheat, alcohol (there's a caveat to this one) even fat goddam it, but for what?!!!

I sat for hours this weekend at my yoga course... I've finished now, I'm home and I can hardly even sit in a damn chair without my hips aching! If I tried half lotus or even siddhasana now, I wouldn't last a minute! Some members of my family laugh at me as they did tonight when I got round my mum's for dinner, walking like John Wayne, and say 'Yeah looks like I really need to take up that yoga you're doing!' (I do find that funny btw - I haven't yet lost my sense of humour!)

However, I can't help but think that sometimes I should've skipped the asana practice and maybe gone straight for samadhi.....!

2 Ibuprofen and a glass of wine please.....! x

The Zen Dog...

2011-06-14T21:47:00.000+01:00

..He knows not where he's going for the ocean will decide..it's not the destination but the glory of the ride!

It's been a while since I last blogged, in fact 18th April was the last post, scary how time passes... Since then I have done so much, done soooo much yoga and my practice has changed its form a zillion times in the meantime!

I could go on about my recent yoga holiday to the mountains of Portugal, and how good my teachers P & S were. I could go on about how they pulled me back from brink of yoga injury (AGAIN!), and how much they're simple but beautiful life in the mountains taught me so much about how I want to live my life; but I wanted my first post back on the blog to be simple and to just keep it in the moment, because as we all know, it's not about the past or the future but about the NOW.

So yesterday and today's teaching practice was lovely (I'm helping at 2 classes now), seeing how the students are coming along so well, especially the ones who have begun their journeys whilst I've been helping in the room. Still, it makes me smile and remember where I have come from since I began my practice, to see the struggle in attaining certain postures, losing the rhythm of the breath in the hope they will reach their toes...or what they believe is their utlimate destination... I must admit that I hate being "reigned in" by my teachers. And to be honest all of them I have practiced with have done it! Portugal was an experience, P reigned me in so much; stopped me from even attempting any "knee crushers" or any postures which put any ounce of strain on my still very delicate joints. I kept this up for a few weeks after, but such is the cycle of life I am pushing myself once again, because my knees feel good...for the moment anyhow.

How long it took me to realise I should be like the Zen Dog... to realise that the destination is actually non-existent (unless you're set on reaching samadhi or ultimate freedom from the restraints of our physical lives) and that for most of us it's about the glory of the ride, the experience of each day of the journey towards it which should be our objective. I think it was the experience of profound pain which allowed me to realise this truth, but obviously I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but I just hope that the students who I've seen grow within such a small amount of time will realise sooner than I did, to be able to truly enjoy the experience of each single yoga practice...

"Welcome to Mari D!"

2011-04-18T17:18:00.001+01:00

This past weeks yoga classes have been varied and lovely. I was taught Sivananda by my close friend K on Sunday at her home, it invloved her chanting prayers to begin then a real delicate practice, beginning with inversions but then carrying on working with all the different posture groups in turn, a bit like the BWY classes I'm used to. Really enjoyed it and great being taught by a friend too :)

I did my normal teaching practice on Monday but adjusting my fellow TT, which worked out nicely and I'm beginning to feel more comfortable being a bit more physical and it was nice to get some good constructive feedback. I followed this with a great energetic Mysore practice albeit with minimal revelation!

I practiced some hot yoga Wed and Friday, taking a break from Thursday's led ashtanga class to catch up with friends, nice break. Sat was my BWY course day, learning about basic breathing technicques - sounds tedious but actually very interesting!

But the best bit about my weekend was a trip to see a recently authorised ashtanga teacher, Shelley Osman, based in Essex. She's a buddhist too and a healer and just an amazing lady. There were just 6 of us in a room in her home, but it was lovely and really worked as a yoga space and very intimate. She teaches in the style of the old yogis where you are given postures when she feels you are ready, so no one in the room completed the series, but most got to Mari d then into finishing. Due to my knee issues I've stayed away from attempting any padmasana work since June last year. When I got to the seated postures I asked her advice and told her the problem and she asked I wanted to look at the postures together. She showed me a different way of getting my leg into padmasana which didn't involve the knee at all. What a difference it made. She had me binding in ardha baddha, mari b and believe it or not mari d was almost there too!

I was shocked that there was no pain in the knee and I kinda had a bit of an out of body experience being twisted completely into postures I have NEVER attempted before due to perceived knee issues. I was scared to death that my knee would just break in these bound postures, but just by breathing through it I relaxed, the fear disappeared and I managed to get through them. I'm not saying there was no pain elsewhere mind you, my ankles were bloody killing me!! I don't think I've ever had that much pain in my ankle before, (and I could hardly do a jump back after) but it was worth it! She had me do up to navasana then into finishing (thank god - i was shattered by this point). It still took 1.5 hrs. But Shelley explained that I needed to work on the maris, esp the padmasana ones and that should be my focus so my hips are open enough to do the rest of the practice. Even though I couldn't bind on one side in mari d she showed me a tip where you should hold your knee and let it fall in towards the other and just hug the knee whilst twisting as much as you can. But the most lovely tip Shelley gave me was that I just need to give my body "time and love"...

Jiva Mukti Experience

2011-04-10T11:10:00.000+01:00

I have practiced 4 out of 6 days this week so far and one teaching class. My self practice was great on Monday, had lots of energy and sweat going on, vinyasas smooth and flowing. Generally, I'm working on supta K and managing to bind hands and feet, or hands and no feet or feet and no hands... depending on which way the wind is blowing! Also the back bends, these are becoming really strong; straight arms and straight legs...I've also started dropping back using the wall and coming back up which feels great. You can also use the wall as a measure to open the front of the body and upper back which feels awesome and completely different from the overarching effect I usually get in UD, from my hyperextended lumbar spine.
The only issue I do seem to have at the moment is straightening my left leg in upa konasana and kurmasana cos of my left hamstring.

Wednesday I had my normal hot yoga class, but it was so hot it was uncomfortable and I was so close to leaving the room, but chose to lie in it instead and missed out the whole of the cobra backbending sequence. I got home and realised I had given myslef THE biggest self-inflicted migraine, I was sick and everything, eurgh.... Kinda made me think twice about renewing my class pass. Or try to work out a new pre-post re-hydrating scheme!

Friday I had a half day from work and took at trip to London to visit some friends and to re-ignite my yoga tourism by visiting the Jiva Mukti Centre. I took a class with a teacher from the US who had taught in NY who was fantastic! The class was like a slo-flow, lots of lunges, warriors and hip openers. We chanted god knows what for about 15 minutes to begin the class then the music kicked in for the rest. The first sequence was opended by none other than Richard Ashcroft himself, with the Verve's Bitter Sweet Symphony - not the type of yoga music I'm used to but hey, I kinda liked it!

I was looking forward to receiving what my friend K has gone on about for ages - an inappropriate application of a lotion on the base of your spine - but it was not forthcoming!!! I think I was the teacher out the corner of my eye applying the lotion to ther pupils, but not me!!! WHY?! I felt a bit left out!! Anyway, the inappropriate lotion aside, I loved the class and can't wait for another one. I'm also interested about the use of music in asana practice and will read up more on that...

My sore knees..

2011-03-28T22:00:00.000+01:00

Don't know what was going on with the knees today but they were crunching like mad is so many postures, it sounds horrid.

I loved doing the sury's today, really made the most of them but I caught my new mat with my toes/toerings and tok 2 great big chunks out of it which disppointed me and made me a bit upset and out of sorts for the rest of the practice! *Note to self - do not become emotionally attached to your mat.

My balance was worse than a baby giraffe, all over the place. I might as well have been a baby giraffe. I probably was one in my past life.

I definately wasn't a tortoise, although my thighs looked slimmer today my arms still didn't want to wrap around them. My chest was no where near the floor and my strange pain in my right hamstring prevented me from staightening my legs. Eurgh...

Backbends were OK, I had some discomfort in my shoulders but I rocked back and forth a few times in each and it eased it a lot, in fact it was quite nice!

Fantastic inversions tonight though, shoulder stand was poker straight and i managed to do 5 breaths with legs parallel in headstand then take legs back up before bringing back down :)

I did my first talk through of sury a's today in our teaching practice. It was sprung upon me, but it was cool and I talked through with no mistakes and whilst I may have been a little quiet, the students followed with no problems. It felt good! I like a bit of adrenalin...

A week in yoga...

2011-03-27T11:50:00.000+01:00

It feels like this has been a long week, but not in a bad way, in fact it's been great, especially with a few days off to enjoy the sun, which, lets face it, has been a long time coming.

I was really looking forward to Monday's mysore practice and luckily it didn't disappoint. My energy levels were high, so managed it with ease, not like last week's, tg. Physically, my knees have been relatively good, yeah they get an air build-up in them in some postures which needs to expel in others causing some clicking but no pain. I've been trying the padmasana postures too, following on from what LM said about every day have new possibilities. Not sure yet whether this is a good thing for them long term, but I'm not pushing too much. My left hamstring is really tight and I get a sensation, not quite a pain, when I stretch, not sure what's going on there, but I'm working on trying to engage the front of my leg to allow the stretch more in the hamstring and using Proprioceptive Neuromuscular Facilitation (PNF) by pressing the heels down in seated forward bends to release the hamstring more which seems to work. My baddhakonasana using PNF is also still working nicely! I can bind most of the time now in supta k, but sometimes this is at the detriment to my ankles being completely crossed, however, it's getting there. It was also good to see D at practice, he hasn't been for a while, his boyish enthusiam exudes good energy!

My teaching before class is getting stronger too, adjustments are coming more easily but I could do with more guidance in adjusting safely. So I'm going to try to get to a Brian Cooper workshop, hopefully sometime in April.

I cooked on Tuesday, chicken korma Maddha Jaffrey-style, mmmmm...

Wednesday I took a leisurely drive over for a late session at Yoga Haven, Ma teaching, Mi was practicing in the corner! I don't really see my Yoga Haven (hot yoga) practices in the same way as I see my ashtanga practice. I guess because the YH is never the same, but MY ashtanga practice is all MINE! With no-one interfering with it! I don't care so much about the posture in HY and just about the overall experience I guess..

Thursday had my led class with V. Lovely hot room made for some nice practice. I tucked myself away in the corner and it was quite meditative. I took some more photos of K in more postures to try and finish my collection of drawings for my practice sheets.

Friday I got a lift over to J's mysore class at the Buddhist Centre, a few of us there from Cov. It was a fun and energetic class. My energy was high and I found myself coming through to sit much smoother without such a "bounce" on the mat before I straighten my legs to sit!! (Although for people practicing jump-to-sits, the bounce does help in the short term!) I'm also trying to jump more up into a mini-handstand before jumping back, so like up then back, which seems to be working, although I can't see what I'm actually doing, so it would be helpful to get hold of a video camera to work on this aspect.. We got a take-away and went back to K's for a bit of a 'last supper' before she left for Finland/NZ. Sad that she's leaving..

Saturday I went to Harlestone for my BWY day. OMG, jam-packed full of info on A&P, I don't know how I'm ever going to remember all of it!! 3 students also started us off on our talks and leading the group through practices. They did really well. I don't have mine until June which I'm a bit disappointed about, I'm looking forward to doing the talk through and the lecture! (Believe it or not!)

Sunday, no practice. Need to rest, also have LH. Have so much homework to do for PF's course I need to crack on with it!!

The weekend...

2011-03-13T21:10:00.000Z

I had a rest on Friday after a tiring week and resumed practice on Saturday with MF. We worked on opening the hips for padmasana. It bloody killed. He said that the hips were funny things and that most of the time if someone can get their knees to the ground in baddhakonasana it is a sign that their hips are open, but sometimes there are some strange exceptions....like me! My knees are almost their in BK, but in padmasana their somewhere near my ears! It looks like I've never practice yoga when I try to sit in padmasana! Goddamn posture... I'd rather sit in siddasana anyhow ;o)

The last time I practiced with MF I think it was late Jan or early Feb, and I can't remeber whether practicign with him came before hot yoga or after (I'm sure if I could be bothered to look through my dates I'd be able to find out.. but I can't be bothered...) anyway, my point is that I didn't find it as challenging as the first time, I thought I was never going to walk again after the first time, this time it was challenging but less, and I think that my hot yoga practice and just trying to get through the heat has given me that edge in my other practice that gets me through without much sweat (excuse the pun..!).

So today I decided to go back to SM and do their Mysore class with a couple of teachers I didn't know.. Turns out one of the guys I recognised from Lino Miele, B, who I remembered as being sooo happy about Lino's tips for dropping back unassisted he just kept doing it!! The other guy P, wasn't so familiar, but it turned out to be a great practice with loads of tips and assists as the class was about 4 people! I actually had the longest practice ever at a fantastic 2 hours 10 minutes!! I loved it! I concentrated on having a longer breath and staying in the postures longer until I felt the benefits, the openings, the stretches. Afterwards a lady came to give a talk on the Yoga Sutras, Kailish Mistry. It was only an introduction to the sutras and sanskrit in general, but it was a good start. We did some chanting too, but unfortunately not the sutras, and I think it may become a regular class, a bit like a book club, but everyone just bringing their ideas to the table about different parts of the sutras.

Unfortunately a lot of what she was saying about the history of yoga didn't sit well with me, particularly since reading Mark Singleton's 'Yoga Body', however, that aside I think a Patanjali book club would be quite useful!

It's my practice and I'll cry if I want to....

2011-03-10T22:36:00.000Z

What is wrong with me?!!! Not only have I had an awful 10 days of some kind of stomach flu-ey thing which has stopped me eating and then stopped me from trying to start eating again, has zapped my energy and is making is to damn hard to get back on track... I'm crying in the toilet cubicle at work for "no apparent reason"!!! Aaaargh!!!!! I mean - who does that?! Who goes to work and cries at their desk and then when, realising the little tears are becoming big tears, has to go to the toilet to cry?! Who - tell me goddamn it?!!

I feel exhausted (overall) and at the moment I'm blaming the stomach flu thing, not that I actually know what it is, I've completely self-diagnosed here... Maybe I should go to the doctors, or maybe I should just GET OVER IT!!

I had a meeting with V after my yoga class tonight re my teacher training. Somehow he seems to just *know* when I'm not 100% mentally and I was, admittedly, dreading it because I just knew he'd ask and I knew I'd tell him and I had visions of me breaking down sobbing in front of him, but luckily that didn't happen. Luckily, I found my own awareness and just laughed at myself and my present situation as if I was someone else, which always makes it easier!

My practice was a real retreat tonight though. I have a sneaky suspicion V has turned the thermostat up because the last few weeks the room has been toasty warm and I've had a really nice practice because of it. Sweat = good practice! (For me anyway..) However, I've been trying overly hard to ditch the ego thing recently but after practice T came up to me complimenting my on my 'beautiful' practice saying how far it had obviosuly come on and how beautiful it was to watch (why was he not concentrating on his dristi?!). It took me entirely by surprise but I had to graciously accept his lovely complement and obviously put it down to my "5 days of practice a week"!!

I'm pushing myself to my edge as well which may be helping my practice, I wasn't doing this prior to my weeeknd with Lino, but as he says, take every practice as a different practice and try everything like it was your first time. It might just happen for you. If you don't try you won't ever know. I just wish I could live the rest of my life like I'm living my yoga practice at the moment...

In terms of my practice I'm trying out a tip I read in 'The Daily Bandha' which basically says that for every action there is a reaction, which in simple terms ref yoga asana, if you push down one way you pull up in another. It actually really helps my practice, as I was finding that although i was 'in' a posture, I was never fully 'engaged' in the posture. For instance, instead of precariously balancing like a baby giraffe in standing postures, if I push into the floor then I lift out of the core of the body in the opposite direction. Simple. It felt great trying this out tonight and I would definately suggest signing up for the 'Daily Bandha' to anyone with a serious yoga practice. http://www.bandhayoga.com/. There - plugged...

"All is for the best..."

2011-03-06T20:30:00.000Z

..."In the best of all possible worlds".

D lent me Candide (Voltaire) a while ago and I've just finished it. Bit bizarre to say the least, but brought up some good arguments about optimism and sometimes the absurdity of it, as a way of justifying evil and mishap, and pessimism and loss of hope for the human race.

It got me thinking about how I try to stay optimistic about things but sometimes it can get a bit tiresome and I slip into the pessimistic state, with loss of hope and a good outlook on life. I guess that might be what the book might be trying to achieve, that sometimes even with the best and most optimistic outlook on life, the events which occur can appear quite absurd and how could one possibly remain optimistic in the face of some of the awful trials that face us. However, I think that optimism, pessimism and 'cultivating your garden' (which Candide seems to resign himself to in the end of the book) are cyclical, optimism will lead to pessimism after a while once the trials get to us, pessimism will turn to despair which will lead one a time of quite introspection and 'cultivation' of their own outlook again, which when things start making sense again will lead back to optimism.

Yoga this week consisted of hot yoga on Wednesday, Thursday full primary led and hot yoga again today. I must start writing my blog straight after the class again as I do forget what went well and what did not go so well. Hot yoga went well today, I didn't have to have a 'mini savasana' in the middle like normal even though we had hardcore C teaching. I did some lovely 'dancer' poses and the other standing balances which I normally miss as I'm normally on the floor at this point! I also managed some much better cobras, managed to engage the correct muscles today which lifted my legs higher and weren't such a strain on my lower back, so that was good. Did a two-legged bow and a full camel without hurting my knees. So yeah, it was cool.

Looking forward to my mysore class tomorrow and the new teaching workshop which will go on for an hour before practice. Another hour of yoga per week - yay!

Monday Mysore 28th Feb

2011-02-28T21:28:00.000Z

Thought I'd be extra stiff after the last three days but luckily I wasn't, managed some really nice forward bends too, must've been the hot bath. I have had minimal pain the right hamstring too, and hip for that matter. I think I've mastered the hip problem though, I think I had my leg folded wrong in the Maris so I'm now placing the foot a little wider than I have been and it's not squashing my tendon or psoas or whatever it is that was hurting.

I also did some nice backbends a nice shoulderstand sequence, really getting high on my shoulders now but pushing them into the floor and a headstand with legs parallel then bringing them back up before taking them back down. Still working on taking them up straight though, maybe I need to change the angle of my head to curve my spine the other way in order to do this, I'm thinking it's not so much about core strength than technique? Need to do some more home practice, this has been missing somewhat recently, what with all the other classes I'm doing!

Lino Miele Oxford 2011 Workshop

2011-02-27T19:27:00.000Z

Just returned from a weekend workshop with the wonderful Lino Miele! I love how after a good workshop you feel all re-energised and full of enthusiasm for your next practice! The weekend started with a counted practice on Friday night, Mysore style self practice on Sat and Sun mornings and a workshop Sat and Sun afternoons. Gonna try and remember what jewels of wisdom he passed on to us, I wrote down Sats but not Suns...

Lino started off with the importance of the breath and linking it fully with the movements into and out of the postures, not so much focusing on the posture itself, because I think he saw that as 'an end in itself', but the breath as 'a means to an end' if that makes any sense. Basically if the rhythm of the breath is compromised by for example, you 'feeling' yourself getting into a posture, an ache here, or an adjustment of the feet there, you are not doing your practice properly. Fluidity, no struggle.

Lino then went on to express the importance of uddiyana banda and its use throughout the practice, especially as they key to lengthening through the spine. He gave an example in a forward bend whilst stood on the edge of the stage, the correct use of uddi meant his hands reached way past his feet and the stage floor by at least 1 foot! Amazing.

In my first Mysore practice he corrected me in trikonasana; I've never been able to reach the toe without compromising my 2-dimensionality. He came and shortened my stance, made me grab the toe and there it was! He mentioned this in the afternoon workshop. How you should always try a posture, at each of your practice. Why? Because each of your practices is different. Practice in the 'now'. You may be able to do something today that you couldn't do yesterday. But what if it is a posture which hurts you? Lino's answer is that you'll never know if it hurts you today if you don't try it. So try it, if you can't do it because you feel pain, back of a little, but hold the pose wherever you can. Accept the pose as it is 'today'. If you don't try, you'll never know. Being in the present moment is being alive, feeling is being alive, if you don't try these postures you won't feel anything and if you don't feel anything you are not living. Simple. But back to my trikonasana... so what if your catching the toe but you're bent over? Lino's answer? Someone'll come and straighten you out! Brilliant.

So what if you can't so a posture perfectly? "WHO CARES"?!! There is no perfection. You cannot compare yourself or your practice to anyone else. So there can be no comparison by you CAN aspire; that's OK. We finished the Saturday with a pranayama practice, man kumbaka after an exhale is difficult. I made some loud sounds as my lungs filled themselves back up with air!!

Today Lino opened his workshop by talking about freedom. It was a little difficult to understand what he was trying to say, but he gave some examples about how to be 'free'. He spoke about 'Gurus' and teachers and how people sometimes follow them like horses with blinkers on, not straying from the path of their teachings, taking every word they say as gospel. He says that this is not freedom. One should not follow a teacher like a strict religion. One should question everything their teacher says, and that is freedom.

Lino then spoke about fear. Asked someone if they were fearful of dropping back, 'yes' - why? 'Cos I hurt myself 12 years ago!' 'WHO CARES' We did some practices to try and overcome fear. Fear of handstands was overcome by doing some partner (urgh) work where we places our hands on the floor with legs straight and our heads between the legs of our partner. The partner had their knees pushing into our shoulders and their hands holding us round the waist. We then came up onto our toes and leaning into our partners knees our legs went up into handstand effortlessly. Quite amazing. Quite simple.

The Drop Back! Why are people scared? Because they don't try. How does one know one is 'ready' for a drop back? Look at their spine in a prepatory UD, if it's got a nice bend they're ready. Again, working in partners, first you start bending back with arms just by the sides slowly, you try and catch your heels or your calves, you're quite deep into the pose at this point, you're leaning into your partner who has their hands lightly on your lower back so you don't fall, you then release your hands and turn your arms into the position for UD then your partner lets go gently and you drop! You don't die! Woo! The partner starts to pull you forward and back 3 times then on the 3rd you bend your elbows slightly and on an inhale come up. Really quite effortless. Such a simple technique to get you over your initial fear and everyone loved it! We did a simple meditation to end the workshop, literally just focussing on the breath. I fell asleep! Funny.

Anyway, such an inspiring man. Great workshop, good times :o)

A few little notes...

2011-02-24T18:53:00.000Z

I've been a bit lazy with my blog this week, just realised I haven't posted since the 15th... Hate being lazy!

But I have been practicing. I didn't do my normal Wednesday hot class last week due to a prior "Come Dine With Me" committment, which meant a lot of food! Great food though :) I practiced at home on Thursday as I was tired and wanted an early practice so I could chill out before bed. So by Friday I was eager for a good practice and decided that as I had missed hot this week I needed some and ventured over to the Haven for a hot class with a new teacher T.

T normally teaches Ashtanga and so was a little disjointed with the talk-through, but despite his little anomalies he was a very sweet and attentive teacher and his little mistakes made him all the more adorable! Unfortunately, the lovely class and feeling following was disturbed when I came back to my car which some fool had broken into and tried to hot-wire...just what you need when damp and tired on a Friday night at 9:30pm. It was quite a test actually, as previously I think I would've freaked out, cried and had a tantrum of sorts, but now I can deal with these little issues that life throws at us without losing the plot, or my mind. :)

I had a great weekend and my first pole dancing class, would you believe, which was really good fun, scary but fun! I learnt some basic moves and a little sequence and even ventured into some inversions, although my thighs weren't strong enough to hang on for very long without hands! However, it did put my Monday self practice completely out of the window as I literally couldn't lift my arms away from my body!

ARms still weren't right Tuesday, but I managed to do a complete DYP series with my sister, me teaching. It was the best teaching practice yet. I was really happy with my talk through, even if I do say so myself! It was more fluent and flowing and I literally only got a couple of lefts and rights wrong in the standing sequence. I wasn't even doing it myself which makes it harder, just kinda imagining me doing it and it worked! Afterwards I actually thought, "man, I can do this shit", I sounded good, like I knew what I was talking about and even mixed it up a bit drawing upon my teachings from V, PF, hot yoga, and even my weekly updates from BandhaYoga.com. It all came together. I liked it, a lot, and to make it so much better my sister had been practicing at home. She hadn't told me but I could tell straight away and it was great to see. :)

I went to hot yoga Wednesday, another new teacher C. It was a proper flow class too, with a jump back/through after more often than not, each asana. Bloody hell, it was hard, but each jump back and through felt so much easier?! What's all that about? I jumped my feet through in line with my hands, they don't do that in my normal ashtanga class! In fact that's the first time it's happened - result!

I haven't been able to get prasarita p sequence for weeks now. My little right hip issue is making sure of that. My head is at least a foot off the ground! (See previous posts). My body used to be so good at these! lol (See how I detached "I" from my body here..lol) Not that bothered though, just went with it, did a nice sequence with a lunge and bind a balance and a lunge again, made up for it, loved it.

Injuries as self-obsessive narcissism...

2011-02-15T17:37:00.000Z

My last two practices of Friday and Monday were lovely, meditative practices, but for one thing... my current injuries. My right knee is bad again, swollen and irritating and I've developed a nasty pain in the front of my right hip. Not sure whether they're inter-related but I seem to remember I had an excrutiating pain in my right hip after my last retreat, just before the knees went.. Anyway, whilst they're always on my mind when practicing I think I've been sensible about it all and after 6 days of practice, incorporating both hot yoga and ashtanga, I had the weekend off. Much deserved.

I thought that post-injury one was meant to practice more 'awareness' of the point of injury in order to be more gentle and let it heal. And I think I'm always aware in this regard; however, at what point does 'awareness' become self-obsession and even narcissistic? Richard Freeman highlights this problem in a recent blog post saying that "One can cultivate in addition to asana practice a pranayama practice, a meditation practice, and the study of various philosophies of contemplative schools. This way one can break through one’s own narcissism and can watch their own mind construct and then let go of egotistical and selfish obsessions, as the mind returns to what gives true happiness and pleasure rather than deeper and deeper frustration. Concerns with health, injuries, and looks are natural, but need to be dovetailed into a broader and deeper intention to eliminate the very root of suffering and to find genuine happiness for oneself and others."

So maybe I've somehow unwittingly passed the point at which my 'awareness' was a positive thing in my practice to a place where I am letting the injury get to me, causing frustration and a non-accpetance of my current circumstances. Maybe I need to just "let things be", surrender to the pain and cease interfering with the injuries as they arise. It's difficult though, like everything else in yoga there is more than one school of thought; one that says do this pose instead of the one which hurts and it'll make the injury better, and the other which says don't do the pose at all.

I remember being at Manu & Bella's workshop not long ago doing a modification for ardha baddha padma paschimottanasana which a teacher had told me to do because of knee pain, and Bella said, don't do that, just leave your knee on the ground and breath, let it be and let it heal. At the time I thought this was a lovely, caring thing to say, and a beautiful way to look at the practice, but that way of looking at these things soon changes and I find myself back in the previous mindset of pushing myself.

The truth is, I hate even the idea that I am self-obsessed or narcissistic, because those qualities are something I abhore in others. I need to pull myself together, take a few deep breaths, look at what I have around me and simply let things be as they are...

The problem with Ashtanga...(3 posts in one)

2011-02-10T21:59:00.000Z

Been so lax with the blog this week and sooo tired tonight, so all I'm prepared to write is a summary of my last 4 days' practices. 4 Days! I feel bad! Well, now I cannot feel bad about not practicing 5 days a week I need something else to feel guilty about right?! So there it is.. I feel guilty about the blog! Aaargh!! *angst*.

What I've been thinking about a lot lately is when did Ashtanga begin to feel like a competition? Who am I competing with? Is it time I'm competing with? Is it my fellow ashtangis? Is it the people I see in DVDs and on youtube? Who the hell am I trying to impress here?! I think I'm having a losing 'the power of now' episode at the moment. Maybe it is because I've been attending quite a bit of hot yoga which has a completely different vibe to ashtanga.

In the hot yoga class I attend the teachers are there to guide you through the practice. Their little talk throughs are soooo sweet, soooo heartfelt and soo believable that I cannot help but love them for it. D and I joke about them because they love to 'thank us for our energy' at the end of class and reel off other predictable yoga type sayings, but it's cool, whether or not they actually mean it, I believe it, I feel their love and it's cool. :o) So what I'm saying is that the hot yoga is different, not just because it's in a stupidly hot room, but because it's conducted differently. There's no emphasis in this class on how you look, how good your jump back is, whether you can jump through to sit with your legs straight or whether you can hold handstand before 'flying' through the air to break your toes in chaturanga.. (joke)

I guess what I'm saying is that this yoga class does not feel like a competition. There are so many standards of practitioners that it is nice to go whether or not you feel you have the energy for the class in hand. You can lie down if you feel like you're about to faint; I would never dream of just lying down in savasana mid-flow in any of my ashtanga classes, because I had a sudden rush of blood to the head or such like... That sun-power yoga class I go to from time to time is similar, a broad range of practitioners but all able to attempt the asanas given to them. Maybe it's the fact that Ashtanga has a 'series'? or 5 or 6? And that its practitioners want to be seen to finish the first series and move on to the next and if you don't then well... you're a failure... I mean, at the moment I'd love to feel as if I had the capacity to be 'given' some intermediate postures, but the 'rules' say you're not allowed until you can do the entire primary series with drop backs, jump through, LBH etc etc. I'm ranting. Apologies. 'They' say it's set out like that for a reason, but hey, as much as I love the series, the practice, that's bollocks. Some's back may never be open enough to drop back. But who are 'they' to say that they are not 'allowed' to attempt ustansana for example?!

You don't get so much of a competative air if you don't know the sequence ahead of you. I feel equal to everyone else in the room as I look up and try to work out which posture is being described. It gives me more of a sense of being at one with everyone else in the room, rather than just concentrating on myself, my own being, which in ashtanga and especially Mysore style ashtanga focuses on.

Hot yoga is more of a battle too which unites us all, its like everyone in the room is after the same goal.....to come out without fainting :o)

Easy like Sunday

2011-02-06T20:19:00.000Z

I really needed some yoga today, as I have had to have a break since Wednesday due to my knees not behaving themselves (I think I overdid it with tri-class (they were swollen after that class) and what with hotyoga straight after).... So today after a lovely relxing day with my family I came back home and got straight on the mat. I even started with the intention of the full primary series, but didn't have too much energy and didn't want to jeopardise tomorrow's practice, so I left it at Navasana and went into finishing. I had a twinge in my left shoulder in backbend, :o( I was no where near the floor in Prasarita P, and Utthita Hasta was done with a very bent leg! What's happened to me?!!!

The best bit was the padmasana sequence at the end, I had a nice little meditation and then was almost asleep in savasana, which I haven't done for ages! I'm looking forward to my full mysore style tomorrow, hopefully I'll have a bit more energy following a very busy weekend!

My yoga haven...

2011-02-06T20:09:00.000Z

As part of our 'yoga tourism' I was going to try a bit of Iyenga yoga tonight as we found a class at the Buddhist Centre, but instead, D & I ended up finding ourselves drawn back to our little hot haven in Birmingham! I'm really stiff lately so I was glad to have some heat to give me a good, warm stretch and a hard workout (teacher was Mi) at the same time. It even gave me time to go to my tri-class before hand, just to be a bit more crazy :oS!

I managed to get through quite a bit this time without feeling dodgy, found it took until the backbends to start feeling light headed. Maybe my body is starting to be able to regulate it's core heat better now...

The relaxation was great too, Mi has such a nice way of guiding us through, this time we were the sand in the desert, I wonder what we'll be next time?!

Monday, bloody Monday...

2011-02-01T18:48:00.000Z

(Don't you just love Alan Partridge?!)

Anyway... I had a lovely weekend following my Friday yoga class which set me up just right. I did NO YOGA all weekend as was very pleased with myself. Isn't it funny how one minute I can be beating myself up about not practicing and then then next beating myself up about practicing too much?! I just finished reading The Kite Runner (left me feeling devastated) and then tried to forget about that and relax for the rest of it.

I felt a little cold so wrapped up warm for yoga with a t-shirt instead of a vest and a long pair of leggings and a pair of trackies over the top. But I was soon very warm and it worked in my favour! I had a great practice which flowed softly through. My wide legged forward bends seem to have left me recently, my head hardly reaching the floor. It's funny how these have gone whilst the back bends have come? I wonder whether the relaxing of the lower back in order for the good backbend has the opposite effect on the psoas or whatever other muscles I use in the forward bends? I realy need to brush up on the old physiology. Can't wait to start my BWY training with P at the weekend, we're starting with A&P which should really help me, then I will be able to explain why one needs to do a posture in such a way; understanding the science behind the postures. I was put onto http://www.bandhayoga.com/, the newsletter of which has some really useful tips on the mechanics of stretching and posture work... it's a bit beyond me at the moment but once I sit down and start practicing what I'm reading it should work for me!

I had a lovely twist in Mari C today, isn't it funny how I used to dread that posture and couldn't breathe in it, now I can't wait for it! The practice was one of those you don't think would be much but ended up being great. I love those days. I was very relaxed afterwards and for the first time in ages felt energised afterwards and not just like I wanted to sleep. I went to bed at gone 11pm and slept straight through, happy days :o)

Friday - I couldn't resist the pull....

2011-01-29T14:18:00.000Z

...Tonight I found myself aching to get back to hot yoga...literally, ACHING! I couldn't face my normal Friday at the Buddhist centre, not with my knees and my right hip the way they're feeling. The only thing for it, a bit of hot yoga action to sooth my aching bones.

And I wasn't disappointed... What a great class. It was led by Ma (not Mi) which I was a little disappointed to hear when I got there but I was wrong to judge Ma on just one lesson, maybe he was having an 'off-day' when I last practiced with him... Anyway, we began with breathing exercises, some uddiyana bandha, some kapalabhati, all good. Then we began with the standing sequence and he gently led us through; a few vinyasas here a few there, but not crazy... Vinaysas do feel better in hot yoga than when doing them with no heat, somehow the heat gives me a little more fluidity, a bit more energy for vinyasas which I'm missing in my ashtanga practice. I was also stood right at the front in front of the wall of mirrors and right next to Ma too, bit self conscious to say the least! I don't like the mirrors by the way, they bring a sense of self awareness of the physical body into the room which I consider should be left at the door in a yoga practice. (Although because I was wearing just a sports bra, I kept catching glimpses of my tummy in the mirror and it was sticking out and kept reminding me to engage the bandhas, so maybe it's there for that purpose..but I still didn't like it!) :o)

The practice was just right, just what I needed tonight to sooth my aches, to break free of repetative posturing (if that's a word?!). I left with my hips feeling better, no pain in my knees and feeling relaxed and calm and glad that had I decided to break from the normal routine...

Possibly the worst Thursday practice so far...

2011-01-29T14:01:00.000Z

Got a lift to practice today with D in a big red shiney sports car! On the way in, both not really feeling the ashtanga energy, he gave me the option of bailing in favour of the cinema, I graciously declined...

Anyway, in fear of sounding a little extreme, I was just completely lacking energy, enthusiasm and whilst I was present in body I was not present in mind! So, suffice to say the practice was no great shakes. To make things worse I probably shouldn't have gone anyway as I've definately been overdoing it this month. Looking back at January's stats I've practiced on average every other day! Which is quite an increase in my book. My knees are suffering as a result of it and I'm gutted as I've been discharged from physio having made great progress and almost no pain left... now look at me... grating knees, aching hips, popping ankles, sacro-iliac joints and hips. My bones sound like a bowl of rice crispies!

I made it through, more or less, without any major modifications or complete misses and left feeling a little more energetic than when I went in. At least that's something. To celebrate, D and I decided to go to the cinema after all... who said you can't have a little apres yoga?! ;o)

Sun Power Action

2011-01-27T17:21:00.000Z

Keeping with the spirit of developing a more holistic approach to my yoga studies I took myself off to a Sun Power yoga class. Unfortunately, the setting's a bit questionable, the late comers having to go to the back of the room on the quite thick-piled carpet which did nothing for my balance!

I liked this class because whilst being quite dynamic and flowing it retains the feel of a beginners' class with that 'come on and have a go' ethos, which leaves it open to both absolute beginners and the improvers. However, it's not ashtanga and whilst you do a nice warm up of a variety of sun salutes, similar to the ashtanga style the sequence of postures does differ week to week and M did like her one legged balances, especially Virab 3 and different variations of utthita parsvakonasana whihcv because I'm not used to them killed me! You'd think I'd be getting used to them having been with MF all weekend punishing us with extended standing sequences!! But no.... my butt hurts now...

I liked the opening with the 3 rounds of kapalabhati and khumbaka (breath retention) and then alternative nostril breathing, which I don't get to practice anywhere else in town. I also like the 'freestyle' inversions section at the end where you can just get on with whatever level of inversions you like to do. I did a long headstand and the held legs parallel to floor for 7 breaths - my best yet - and get this, I held my bandhas and even took my legs back up towards the ceiling! I must admit that there was a dodgy minute where I thought I was going to fall (I blame the carpet) but I managed to pull it back - booya!

But the best bit about this class is being given a soft blanket to lie under in savasana at the end... now you don't get that at ashtanga!! :o)

Tuesday Rest day

2011-01-27T17:02:00.000Z

Just when you thought I actually meant it...

I gave my sister a good grilling vinyasa krama style today. Unfortunately I didn't know the sequence I was teaching but had to read it off Grimmley's practice sheets (thanks Grim) and so it was a bit disjointed, but nevertheless left her panting and 'OMG I can't do that'ing, which made me happy... Well she needs to move out of her comfort zone sometime!! ;oD

Cannot wait for day 6, my 'rest day'...

2011-01-27T16:58:00.000Z

Might have been overdoing it a bit of late, what with my normal classes with V, the classes at Yoga Haven, Fridays with J and then last weekend's Freestyle marathon with M... Knee hurts again and I'm sad to say it it's the pain in the back of it now too, not just the grinding sensation I have been getting... Bad news.

I was adamant due to the 5 days with no break from yoga that Monday would be a nice leisurely self-practice and after being drenched from M's torturous routines I would not sweat, not one bit! It didn't turn out like that though did it?..No.. I sweated my ass off which is unlike me on Monday and had a really strong, energetic practice.

It was a bit of a pain to go back to the 'normal' way of entering warrior 1, with the back foot flat and turned in 45-degrees as M had shown me another method where you're on the ball of your back foot and both knees facing the front of the mat; this was much better on my knee, easier to get into and easier to balance in too, overall, making it more powerful as I could drop deeper into the pose, opening the front hip. I'm going to keep practicing it like this at home, but obviously keep the traditional style for class.

My utkasanas are so much better now, I've been introduced to a new way of entering these too which makes it easier and a deeper pose; inhaling then exhaling bending to touch floor, then inhaling into Utka then exhaling into the forward bend. I could hardly bend my knees a few weeks ago in this posture, looking really pathetic, not sure why this works for me but it does!

My prasarita padd's haven't been very deep of late, not sure why, hips don't seem to want to open much in this pose, and I really have to breathe into the pose to get my head anywhere near the floor, let alone pressing it into the floor...I remember the days when I could.....:o( Utthita Hasta was good though, V talked me through pulling the hip back into the socket when holding the foot forward, which sounds awful and scary on the hips but really worked! Woo!

I can grab my wrist with my hand in front of my outstretched foot in most of my seated forward bends now, this has been developing over the past couple of weeks and feels nice - less jarring on that knee too.

Nearly forgot - very nearly grabbed the toe in trikonasana!!! OMG! What's happened here!!! Where did that come from?!

Kurmasana is quite good at the moment, I'm not having my legs at such a wide angle and it's better on my forward fold and my knees and my elbows as my legs are almost on top of my shoulders, must be a lot safer too. However, supta is still missing the bind :o( Wish my thighs would just piss off - I've lost 4 pounds this month why aren't you shrinking?!!! Grrr...

I've also noticed that being pro-active and almost adjusting myself in the konasana sequence is reaping the benefits, chest almost on floor in the forward bend, hips not so tight in seated (no pain in the left one) when I push down with my elbows although pressing down so hard makes my back curve so I keep getting adjusted in that one! Supta parsvasahita is getting better, outstretched leg less than a foot off the floor now, hips showing hints of opening finally!!! Yay!

Back bends done with almost no effort which was amazing... Still thanking the hot yoga for that little feat! No pains in the shoulders either *touches wood* and holding with scrupuluously straight arms!!!

So even though I thought I was in line for the knacker's yard, my body pulled something out of the bag! Good ol' bod (I'll try not to doubt you in future) :o)

as if yesterday's class wasn't enough...

2011-01-23T20:28:00.000Z

...I decided "wouldn't be a good idea to do M's Freestyle Yoga Project workshop today!"

I should have known how hard it was going to be from having awoken this morning and not being able to lift my legs out of bed! Seriously! No wonder my physio had me doing glute strengthening excercises, they're almost not existent! I don't think they've ever had such a work out in their lives!!! However, I battled through and whilst a couple of postures weren't so accessible, this was mainly due to knee issues i.e balancing on the knee.

It was a killer but shows how much control I need to exercise over my body if I ever want to be able to go up into handstand for instance and how much bandha control I need (I thought my bandhas were pretty good...maybe not). We did some really nice vinyasa krama sequences, my favourite were the low arm balances, especially something along the lines of galavasana, koudinyasana A & B, and something which felt so nice as it opened up my chest and never thought I'd ever be able to do, Viparita Dandasana (I think) (like a headstand backbend). We even did those squatting hasta pada's that Grimmly mentioned in a previous post of mine, killers and a bit harsh on the old knees, but a reminder to focus on entering and exiting the postures and being aware of the joints.

The last 2 days has been a real eye opener, I will definately have to get Matthew Sweeney's and Ramaswami's books on Vinyasa Krama and give it a go at home. I'm sooo tired now, I think I'm gonna have to leave this post and go lie down for a bit :o)

I can't remember the last time I worked so hard..

2011-01-22T15:13:00.000Z

If last night, Thursday night, Wednesday's tri-class and Tueday's hot class weren't enough, I decided it would be a good idea to (for my yogic development) try another class today. So D and I took a little trip over the the Stone Monkey Cafe in Leamington Spa to try what they call 'The Freestyle Yoga Project'.

Now what I expecting was far from what I actually experienced. To coin my father's phrase 'It's like everything else', you get a completely different perception of a person once you meet them and experience them first hand. I had spoken to people and taken in their views on M before I had met him , I had read profiles and even heard him speak in interview on YogaPeeps, but until you actually meet someone you will never gauge what someone is really like. Moreover, how their style of teaching yoga is...

I was therefore completely surprised to find that I absolutely loved the class presented to me. Non-dogmatic yet authentic, tough yet accessible, ashtanga yet hatha, non-spiritual yet with soul....

The sweat dripped from my chin, my nose, my shoulder, just like in hot yoga, yet it was my own body, my own ujjayi breath which controlled this thermostat, propelled only through the asanas presented to me and not through external heat or even any external adjustment from the teacher (the adjustments were almost imperceptible; he was there in the position for adjusting but didn't really touch).

It showed me that the full primary series of ashtanga yoga as taught be Sri K Pattabhi Jois is, not an infallible system. I can honestly say that I have worked muscles in this practice that I have probably never worked before (or possibly not since my trip to Insabina in June), there were postures which other people seemed to make look easy, like whilst in a wide legged forward bend with hand on the floor, then taking one leg out to the side! I could hardly move the leg out, let alone look convincing in the pose! Ashtanga does not work the legs enough, (controbersially might be one of the reasons why my knees couldn't take it when introduced into a different and more varied style of yoga in June). All the famous yoga teachers do not appear to have 'strong legs' although their upper bodies are buff.

So will I go again to this class? The answer is a resounding 'yes'. It takes me beyond my comfortable boundaries. Whilst I might hate it at the time 'cos it hurts, I know that it's all for the greater good and that one day the pain will go and it will feel easy (ish). There's no point working just one end of the body. You need to work the end with the legs no matter what the ashtanga vinyaysa system says!

"Freestyle Yoga Project" = Big thumbs up!

Ashtanga yoga and Raynaud's syndrome...

2011-01-22T14:32:00.000Z

Almost died getting to Birmingham tonight for JC's Mysore class. Literally. Well OK, probably a slight exaggeration but my heater wasn't working in my car so it was a harsh 1hr drive over (and I forgot my gloves). I've been told that I've probably got Raynaud's Syndrome where due to the cold the ends of my fingers lose all feeling and go numb and white... However this time one even went purple by the time I got a look at it in the light! Poor D, he even had to hold my hand to try and warm it up whlst I was driving, not very safe but hey... Could've got gangrene..(that's what wikipedia says anyway..)

Due to the joke of a journey I wasn't looking forward to class. Not one bit. I sat on top of the radiator for 10 mins before we started and even then I kept my cardy and scarf on throughout the suryanamaskaras. The rolling over the toes was an absolute killer, not only was it affecting my hand but my big toes on both feet were numb and it was killing me!! I had to admit to taking a breather and just holding the toes with my then warm hands for a good 15 breaths before being able to carrying on...:o(

I rushed through the entire sequence trying to create warmth through a strong breath but less time in poses. By the end I was knackered. I had some personal triumphs despite the ill health which was a bit surprising! I got the lowest I have even got my chest to the floor in Konasana forward bend, I rocked up without falling back, my backbends felt great, not pain in the left shoulder, I even held all my inversions longer than normal as I had so much time. I managed 30 breathes in sirsanana and held for 4 breaths with legs half way down without a problem! What had all the signs of being an awful experience ended up not so bad! Hoorah, yoga prevails!

Warrior or ocean breeze?

2011-01-22T14:07:00.001Z

The temperature has dropped again so Beechwood was a little chilly.. 'I' was a little chilly, My yoga mat was even worse! Had to warm it up on the radiator in class before we started, I don't care what people think!!

Not only was the heat not in the room, it wasn't created on the mat either. I was all creaky and stiff and felt like I didn't want to be there, much.... Still feeling the effects of whatever came over me at the weekend I think. I gave it a good bash though considering. Missed out one vinyasa between sides? That's not TOO bad is it? Not for a poorly person?!!

In fact I think I've relaxed on my breathing a little of late. As I've mentioned in previous posts I don't hardly sweat at all in class anymore, not at home, not even a bead on my top lip! I used to, I used to sweat like a monkey!!! (I don't know if monkeys sweat but it's the best similie I could come up with without swearing..;) I've heard my friends in class recently been told to calm down their breath so it is not so audible, so strained (but to keep the enthusiasm!); maybe I've unconsciously taken this on... Or maybe I'm now on a plane where I don't need to consciously and audiably breathe? I'm not really sure. Sometimes in some postures my breath becomes more audible, more strong, notably in the standing balancing postures, but I kinda just let it flow... But this brings me to the question; do I have to breathe like a warrior or an ocean breeze? How do I know when my ujjayi breathing doesn't have to be so 'ujjayi'?!

Hot yoga and inauthenticity...

2011-01-22T13:43:00.000Z

I was cajoled into doing the last class of the £10 for 10 classes offer at Yoga Haven tonight... Due to feeling groggy Sunday and missing an adjustment workshop, and then going on to miss Monday's mysore practice, by today my body needed a good beating again so I allowed it to happen...

I loved the practice too. Luckily it was M again, with his soft yet firm tone and plethora of metaphors and similies, I let the practice wash over me "like waves over the shore" (M, I hope you're proud!)

It was only 1 hour long which is probably why I didn't feel like I wanted to die. However, the last of the classes has made me re-think the motives for doing this type of yoga. Not particulatly my own but people's motives.. do these motives follow the eight limbed path for instance? Are these people being true to themselves and and is 'hot yoga' or 'bikram' an inauthentic type of yoga in the Sartrian meaning of the term? Or am I just over-analysing it?

I say these things because I have noticed my back being a lot more 'open' than before, and all from just 5 hot yoga sessions within a 10 day period... which then made me think does the heat create an inauthentic environment for the body to work in? Should we be allowing an outside force (heat in this case) to manipulate our bodies into places they wouldn't necessarily go on their own? Which then gets me onto thinking well if we let heat guide us into unknown territory, aren't physical adjustments just a similar inauthentic manipulation of the body? All these questions and to be quite frank, I haven't got the answers (just yet)... so any ideas please?!

And whilst sat outside the shala waiting for my body to cool down enough for me to stand again, I felt sad that the 10 day challenge was up... OK, so I only made 5 classes, (well done to D for 6) However, whilst pondering whether to take up the next hot yoga offer, I kinda knew deep down that it wasn't going to be.... Goodbye 'I can't believe it's not Bikram'... see you down the road..................

Saturday's Sauna....

2011-01-15T16:46:00.000Z

Day 4 of the hot yoga challenge!!! This now means that my physical excercise this week (Sat to Sat) has been no less than 2 full primary ashtanga classes, 4 Hot yoga classes, 1 teaching class and 1 tri-class (step aerobics)! No wonder I've lost a total of 4 pounds this past week! It feels good though. "I" feel good. There's definately something in keeping physically busy, I haven't slept so well in ages; 9:30 bed times completely out of the window this week and yet I've been completely alive and on the ball!!

I should've known last night when D suggested we get another hot yoga class in before the 10 days runs out that this was craziness! I lay in bed this morning thinking 'this is my only completely relaxing day - what am I doing?!' However, I was at the station by 9am ready for the craziness! I stayed right by the door today!! Following Wed's almost passing out scenario I just couldn't risk it! I mean, where's the fun in doing yoga if all your thinking about is trying not to pass out? But again, I felt the same right in the same place in the sequence, straight after standing!! I had to have a little savasana, which luckily flowed right into the lying on the back sequence, which, funnily enough, I REALLY ENJOY!!!! lol

Mind you, I was quite focussed today and I actually watched the sweat drip from the end of my nose and my chin onto the mat, which is, although I hate to admit it, quite satisfying!! Like the washing of my drenched yoga attire is quite satisfying!!!

I was just reading The Reluctant Ashtangi's blog and it's so funny, because she has hit the nail on the head about Bikram/hot yoga classes... No-one seems to care. You don't get adjusted. You sweat and pass out and feel ill and no-one comes up to you to ask if you're OK! You are invisible as she says! You turn up, you find the coolest spot (if you're like me) and then you try and get through the practice without collapsing in a heap! The only difference with my teacher seems to be that M thanks all of his students for their energy, for their courage and committment in such hot circumstances! And it kinda makes it all worth while, knowing that (even if it is complete pretence) M actually wants to thank us for turning up....!

I like Yoga Haven. I like the welcome desk, I like the fact that the teachers sit there most of the time to welcome you in, that they're there afterwards to chat. That the people in the queue for the (1) shower talk to you. It makes a change to the ashtanga classes which apart from my friends (the other yoga teacher trainees) no one really talks to you. They just turn up and sit like they're in a doctor's surgery (as V described it the other night)! I like the sense of community at Yoga Haven, I like the burlesque style changing rooms and the way all the teachers turn up for each others classes, so as to show their support for each other! I like the shoe-free zone, the pictures on the walls, the free bumper stickers, I like the little kitchen area and the 1 loo, I like having to hang on for dear life as I commence down the spiral staircase after class!!! Once the 10 days is up these are the things I'll miss...

"Beechwood Lawn Tennis Club = Cold...."

2011-01-15T16:15:00.000Z

...This was the text I got during Thursday afternoon from D, obviously wanting to ditch ashtanga and get the most out of the £10 for 10 classes as Yoga Haven! I did laugh....he's such a bad influence...

However, I went to ashtanga... but moreover, I NEEDED some ashtanga. I needed to feel my body make its own heat, to use my own breath to keep me going and not to just keep me cool! Bloody hell, the room was coooollld though...brrrrrr..... But, in saying that, the old ujjayi soon kicked in and I might have even experienced a couple of beads of sweat across my top lip at some points in the practice!!! It was also good to see the old faces again, I've missed K over the Xmas period, especially her relentless energy.

It wasn't a practice of any major feats though, I'm finding the led classes generally aren't any more, it's the Mysore self-practice or my home practice where I make the most improvement and where I don't have to rush and can try out new things :o)

Wednesday madness!

2011-01-13T17:36:00.000Z

I think the heat from the hot yoga is getting to me.....

I decided to do my step aerobics class at 5:30 today then get on the next train to Birmingham for another hot yoga session (1.5 hr). Oh dear....... My sister warned me after the step that I should be careful about not drowning myself by drinking too much water, that with all this colonic and hot yoga I'm dehydrtaing my cells then replacing the nutrients with water only, which could actually drown the cells, through the process of "osmosis", which I actually understood as it's probably the only thing I remember from science at school! Anyway, to allay her fears (and my own) she kindly bought me an isotonic drink to take to yoga :o)

Probably lucky she did as I almost collapsed in class, just after the lunging sequence and before the balancing sequence! Everything went a bit dark, and quiet, but managed to sit down and then lie down in savasana without completely passing out. Luckily I wasn't the only one, the class was busy and people were dropping like flies... I spoke to the teacher after who said that it was VERY hot, more than usual and that he must work on knowing when it's getting too much for people and to let people chill in savasana for a while. I do like the teacher M, he's kind and cares about the class and improving his own teaching!

I don't know whether the increase in ability to stretch further in hot yoga comes with more practice in the heat, but I don't feel any difference in my postures, or the ease of entering etc. However, I think the best thing I like about hot yoga is the fact I sweat... and it makes me feel good, that i've worked and that I'm detoxed throughout! I cannot meditate in this class, I cannot concentrate on the breath when it gets too full on, therefore it's a far cry from Mysore, which seems more about 'you' (the purusa) than 'you' the (prakrti).... Have I got that the right way round?!!! ;o)

Operation colon cleanse, Day 2...

2011-01-13T17:19:00.000Z

I probably shouldn't have done this, but I went for my 2nd colonic today and THEN went on to do my 2nd hot yoga class. In fear of dying from dehydration I drank a large amount of water before, during and after, I didn't want to risk collapsing at yoga!

The class was an "express" class which took just an hour, but Dear God, sooo glad it was an hour today especially after practicing full primary Fri, 1.5hr Hot yoga Sunday and Mysore Monday.... Some might say I'm over doing it, but I this is January after all and we all go a little crazy, don't we;? trying to burn off those excess calories and winter warming flab!

I enjoyed the class today, sweated like crazy though... I think I'm one of those naturally sweaty people and I seemed to be sweating more than the girls next to me...but was i putting more into it than them? Or was it the strong ujjayi breath? Not sure.... What I can say about this hot yoga class is that ujjayi breathing gets you through it, and it's amazing that they don't put much focus on the ujjayi breath in this class, even though I feel that if I didn't use this method of pranayama I would die...! It actually feels as if you cannot concentrate on the yogic aspect of the postures with it being so hot, all you try to do is get through it without collasping, which for me, kinda makes it just a bit of a workout, although I can see how people could get addicted to it :o) (Yes, and I'll probably go tomorrow as well... I need to get my money out of the "£10, 10 class, 10 day" card after all!!!)

Oh, suffice to say that I didn't die from having the colonic and then the yoga class. But I wouldn't recommend it, as you are meant to completely relax after "colonic interference" as it were... as I was told by the professional :o)

Monday's moving meditation...

2011-01-10T22:07:00.000Z

...well I can dream it was like that. My mind was all over the place tonight at the Mysore class. In fact it wasn't Mysore style, it was a led class this week which was a bit disappointing but nevermind.

I think I am still radiating heat from my core from yesterday's hot yoga class! Seriously, I've been hot all day. Even with frost outside I'm all pink and rosy-cheeked!! My mat was still wet from my own sweat from yesterday though, eurgh.... must wash that....

I had quite a lot of energy tonight which surprised me after yesterday's session. My chaturangas are really strong now, and the more I do them properly the more the strength grows. I wish that could be said about the backbends.... I'm told by V to feel the burn in the thighs, but I just don't feel it! Unless you feel the burn I don't think you can come up to stand from dhanurasana...maybe i'll never feel the burn....:o( I can only think there must be something not working right, some muscle not engaging in my backbends. Like why can I still not achieve a decent purvottanasana?! I sink in the middle, and at both ends! It's ridiculous and I'm embarrassed about that posture....I want to hide it away!

My forward bends are coming on strong though which is great. I can bury my head in paschi C now, although it takes me the 10 breaths in A & B to lengthen enough to achieve this!!

My twists were good today also. V assisted me in revolved triangle, which I think is the first assist I have had from him since I can put my hand outside the opposite foot, so I was able to gain the full twist and looking up to the ceiling, which felt lovely.

Remembering the 'preparation is key', my seated twists were great too, lots of length in the spine and still bound well despite the extra inches on the thighs...

I lifted with the assistance of V from headstand and looked up towards my belly. I like assists like this, it take my mind off being crap at backbends!

I have been trying a few of the padmasanas of late, as my knees appear to be getting better, trying to stretch out my ankle and side of the calf. However, lying in savasana today I had a horrible sharp pain in my left knee, so I won't be trying that again any time soon :o(

To aid 'operation colonic cleanse' I purchased some aloe vera juice today, on special offer at H&B. Unfortunately I couldn't remember the name of it when I got into the shop and had to describe it as 'a drink made out of a plant thing'....however, somehow the shop assistant knew what I was on about! Funny!

Hot Sunday!

2011-01-10T21:43:00.000Z

As a bit of a variation (and because I'm curious) I decided to try out some hot yoga action at Yoga Haven in Birmingham.

It didn't feel that hot when I first entered the room, but as the class got started the room got hotter and hotter (apparently they work at 40 degrees C)! I really thought I wouldn't be able to cope as I had problems when I practiced in India in lesser degrees, however, I maintained a long ujjayi breath throughout which was my saving grace...

The routine was really nice. The teacher was fantastic and I loved his "yoga teacher voice", full of enthusiasm and drama! I really have to start thinking how my "yoga teacher voice" is going to be, not quite sure I will be able to pull off the over-enthusiastic, dramatic, analogous dialogue quite so well as M did!!!

The time did seem to stand still for the most part though..there were clear sections of the whole sequence; warm up, standing sequence, lunges, backbends, vinyasa sequence etc, however, I thought that after each set we would be finished, but to no avail... I was dripping with sweat and at the end physically panting like a downward dog, not a victorious warrior!!

I did feel as if some of the postures were easier in that heat. The body definately was up for doing more activity and it did seem to "ignite the fire within" (can't remember where I heard that one from - poss RF!) and keep me going throughout. All in all, it was a positive experience. I wouldn't say I could fully focus on the yoga part of things, and it did seem more like a workout, but nevertheless I enjoyed it, and dare say I would love to go again....even if it is only for a good workout and possibility of losing a few pounds :o)

It's a pity it's so far away... I have a 10 class pass for the bargain price of £10, but it needs to be used within a set amount of time. I think I need more days in my week for all the yoga I want to do! I really would've liked to have done the 10 day challenge! Just think - 3 colonics and 10 days of hot yoga - I don't think I couldn't be more cleansed!!!

Friday Mysore and colonic irrigation...

2011-01-10T18:18:00.000Z

...but not at the same time!!!!

I feel a little uneasy about this post, but have come to the conclusion that I want to tell the world how great colonic irrigation is!!! So I had my first "colonic cleanse" last week and whilst at the time of the cleanse, all you want is to have it over and done with, afterwards you feel AMAZING! I can honestly say that it has "changed my life", and for the better! My skin is glowing and my digestion is better than ever. I look a lot less tired (don't need as much make up!) I don't have the bloating after food like I was and I'm able to eat food that I previously couldn't eat due to its horrible effects on me!!! Yay!!!! It's done so much good for me that I have booked in for the 3 sessions 'healthy kick start'! Anyway, enough about that....

I took my yogi friend D with me to the Buddhist Centre for JC's class tonight, I think he liked it and found Jc's tips helpful. Unfortunately we didn't get much assists as there was a newbie in the room, so they obviously get more attention for the first few weeks. However, I had help with my Mari sequence, my C's aren;t that great at the moment, but having read Grimmly's recent post 'it's all in the preparation' I know what he means. J made sure my warpping arm was securely in place before binding with the other and doing it this way ensures that the spine is kept nice and straight. It makes such a difference.

Unfortunately the colonic cleanse did not assist me in losing my "christmas weight"....! My supta K was appalling, it was either bind and uncross ankles or cross ankles with no bind - thighs are too big and are just getting in the way. But it's OK cos I'm back to the gym now too, so should be able to work off the excess flab at my step class in no time at all!

Headstand is obviously getting straighter as no comment from JC tonight!! Yay!

First practice of 2011 :o)

2011-01-03T20:24:00.000Z

I'm a bit disappointed with myself that I did not do my first practice of 2011 until the 3rd of January! I'm no Ashtangi Angel.... ;o) Anyway, I got back t the gym yesterday morning and again this morning. Knees held up nicely albeit a couple of twinges here and there, mainly the right, but I did all my exercises with complete awareness, making sure my patellas were tracking properly and they were fine.. a big 'yay' to the knees!

But the gym just wasn't enough today. Something was amiss, my little bit of peace :o)

So after I had tidied my gardens and done some other menial tasks I got on the mat(s) (still practicing with 2) at about 3:15. I even delayed my dinner party an hour so I could do a longish practice!

I did 5 Sury As and 3 Bs. This works for me, and although I do all 10 in my mysore classes, the 8 work well at home. The energy doesn't seem to be as high at home as it does in the class, maybe in class you feed more off a collective energy in the room, I don't know, anyway...

My Surys are really coming along nicely. Surys are a part of the practice which many people consider are beginner postures, and you don't find many people commenting on them in blogs and such like. But mine are becoming a much loved part of my practice. I can now fold completely in half, chest to thighs, hands completely flat on the floor. I could never do this, not even before my knee problem (June). My reach up feels lovely, turning the palms out before taking the arms up in the style of Richard Freeman really makes a difference, makes you feels as you're "offering yourself up" (wow that's a bit catholic!) and opening up to the energy.

Chataranga is coming along great. I think it has really made a difference now I'm throwing myself forward when I jump back so I land in chaturanga in the correct position to start and my arms have built in strength so they hold me up no problem now. Being in the correct position allows me to tilt my pelvis up a little to provide the strength to roll up into upward dog, only the tops of my feet on the floor and to roll back over the toes (without pain thanks to the double mat) into downward dog without having to adjust my hands and feet as much as I used to. My heels touch the floor much quicker lately too, this I put down to not locking my knees out (which I used to do naturally as I have hyper-extension) but keeping a micro bend and using the fronts of my lower legs to guide my deeper and not the extension of the knees. (I can't wait til I can use the proper anotomical and physiological terms for these processes!)

My Bs aren't as good but only because I find it hard to balance in Vibradrasana when flowing through the sequence which messes the breath up a bit. I have started sweeping the floor with my hands and keeping a lower squat for Utkatasana though in my last few practices, it's hard work and I don't know what I'm doing differently but I have more control of myself, maybe it's the physio I'm doing, that's building those quads...hope so :o)

My jump to sit is coming along great, with blocks I'm still straight through, but without them I do a little hop just inbetween my hands then come through, so neeeearly there!!

Utthita Hasta Pada is being maintained at a good level. Completely straight leg now with no pain behind the knees. Still using the clasping of the toe coupled with the pulling up of the arm to enable the straight leg and to keep shoulders back. One day the legs will be completely out to the side - 2 dimensionally! I'm using the same tecnique in the lying down version of this posture, which also appears to be working...

I got completely flat in kurmasana today! I adjusted the angle of my legs so they were further towards my head than out to the side and more ontop of my shoulders than the tops of my arms. This puts less pressure on my arms which are both hyper-extensive and therefore vulnerable in this position, especially the left where I broke the elbow just over a year ago. Happy days!

I did 3 backbends, the first was great, the 2nd and 3rd I had the twinge in the left shoulder, so not as good. Need to work on that, but as I'm now doing 3 full back bends and no warm up versions anymore, I should see a difference pretty soon and be able to work out what I'm doing wrong.

New year, new sports bra! I wore this today without anything on top as my room was lovely and warm and as a result got a great shoulderstand as I had flesh for traction!!! Will always wear sports bras at home now, much less of an issue with the old shoulderstands without having clothes in the way :o)

Chakrasanas done with almost straight legs, must work on getting them completely straight and possibly entered into without having to flip myself over at speed. Saves me having to walk bat to my mat after the event! ;o)

Headstand, 25 breathes, 4 breaths with legs parallel to floor. Must work on this but a bit tired today as it's LH time.

So, there it is... 2011, starts with a generally lovely and enthusiastic practice with lots of things to consider working on! Practice in 2011 and all is coming!

That reminds me... must find 2011's yoga retreat soon!!! Need a holiday! (Xmas just isn't the same ;o)

Last practice of 2010....

2010-12-31T11:34:00.000Z

Well, here it is, the last day of another year.... where has that gone?!

I wanted 2010 to go out with a bang, so I got up and hit the mat at 9am. I'd watched Richard Freeman's primary series dvd last night, as one would watch a film, from start to finish and so I let Richard talk me through my full series this morning (in my head I may add), remembereing that lovely voice of his! And I had a lovely, calming practice, I even broke a sweat which I don't usually at home, show's I was really going for it!

Anyway, I didn't really want to go in depth into today's practice but just the share my 'ups' of 2010's Astanga Yoga Practice, I list them below and will sart from December as it is quiet pertinent...

December - Recovered from a broken elbow after 2 months of no practice.

Read 'The Power of Now' (Eckhart Tolle) and realised I could be happy and that yoga was the way!!! Yay!

March - Joined V's Ashtanga Yoga Primer teacher training course
June - Visited Insabina Yoga Retreat meeting amazing teachers and found Mysore Style yoga

Damaged both knees at said retreat! (Not exactly an 'up')

September - Re-established my practice with more awareness but with very tight hamstrings!!!

Found out about the amazing Grimmly and starting blogging!

Oct-Nov - practice almost back to normal!!

Accepted on Paul Fox's Yoga Teacher Training Course 2011

December - met JC another great teacher! Started Mysore class at Buddhist Centre

practicing 4 times a week and knees feeling better! Yay!

This year has been the best one for me since, well I can't pinpoint it, but probably about 6 years. The whole of 2010 I have been happy and have not needed anything or anyone for me to achieve that happiness. And I can only, truthfully and sincerely put that happiness down to my yoga practice and living with more awareness.

So I'd just to like to thank Eckhart Tolle, EM, my friends and family, and God for their help in 2010!

PEACE, LOVE AND LIGHT FOR 2011!

Christmas and Boxing Day practice!

2010-12-26T13:27:00.000Z

I just couldn't bring myself to go out yesterday until I had done at least some practice... So I got on my mat and did some really lovely, long surynamaskaras. Unfortunately that was all I had time to do, but they were nice and surprisingly full of energy!

I was also surprised that after all that food and drink yesterday I DID feel like a good long practice today. I decided to invite David Swenson to lead me, as I've missed his lovely calming voice! However, today he put me off a little by just not listening to my breath ;o). So I found myself way ahead of him.

My shoulder and upper arm is hurting, that niggle last week is getting worse. I think I may have pulled something, so the chaturangas and dogs weren't great. Utthita Hasta Panagustasana was good though, again pulling up on the toes really helps in straightening the leg and offers a strengthening excercise for the upper arm too. I used the blocks for lifting up which I found for the first time I managed to lift my bottom and feet off the ground, very exciting. So I CAN do it! Need to work on doing it without big blocks. I might have to buy some smaller ones.

Unfortunately, my friend skyped me in the middle of the dvd, so had to answer him for a while which split the practice. But when I did get back, I finished the seated postures and went straight into finishing, as I wasn't quite back there...Nevermind. This happens...

I'm just relaxing for the rest of the day now, well, until I have another family xmas get together later anyway! Cheers! :o)

Ashtanga Vinyasa Primer with blocks...

2010-12-21T18:49:00.000Z

I don't know what's wrong with me but I am feeling exhausted.... I had a headache all day and booked the rest of the week off to give me a full week off work over xmas. I need it.

I got home after what felt like cramming 1 weeks worth of work into 1 day and just wanted to crash...But I logged on to Grimmley's Blog and as usual it was enough to get me motivated to do some yoga practice. So I hit the mat....

I did a few things differently today; I used 2 mats and I used blocks for all my jump backs and jump throughs. I even tried the blocks for utplutih but it didn't work so well...;o) Using blocks for the lift up from seated then swung my legs through behind and tried to land in chaturanga in one smooth movement! Sometimes it was, sometimes it wasn't so smooth, but U gotta take the rough with the smooth ;o) The upward dog and downward dog still with blocks which felt lovely on the back, and then the jump through to sit, I was flying through my arms!!! I definately 2 inch longer arms!!!

Unfortunately, but concentrating on the props, I forgot my parsvak, prasarita pado sequence and supta parsvasohita, woops! Nevermind, some yoga better than no yoga :o)

I did some nice backbends but couldn't stay up too long as I have a niggle in my left shoulder (which has been playing me up for a week or so now, clicking a lot).. So that was a shame cos they are getting better. My konasana series was very good, getting so close to the floor with my supta now and in baddha I spent a little longer and really pushed my knees into the floor trying to breathe longer and trying to open my feet more, which seemed to work!! My setu bandhasana was great, legs almost straight and I put that down to using 2 mats - less hard on the forehead and therefore less strain on the neck, so I could concentrate getting legs straight - genius! Why did I not think of that before? Rolling over the toes - less painful - again - 2 mats.. headstand - brilliant - 2 mats! I see a pattern emerging here!! I even stayed with legs parallel to floor for 7 breaths - record time! Yay!

So, the moral of the story is, even if you feel like doing absolutely no yoga and that all you wanna do is sleep, do some anyway, just hit the mat! At least do SOMETHING, it's always worth it...

And, on a final note - I LOVE MYSORE STYLE YOGA - the best invention in the world!!!

Wednesday 15th December

2010-12-15T21:12:00.000Z

I really thought my practice today would be great as I was dying for it... unfortunately, it started good then got considerably worse as my energy drained from faster than water through a sieve :o(

I think I'm coming down with something. Last night I went out for dinner and by 9pm I was yawning like a good'un and had to go home and literally straight to bed, where I stayed until 6:45am. But even then I couldn't get up, I felt terrible... Work was OK, but now I feel awful once again.

I managed to get through to the mari sequence, but then had to cut the jump backs out completely and literally go straight through the finishing sequence. My mind was all over the place, so much so I even gave up my rest early as I wasn't benefitting from it.

Everything felt a bit dodgy. I forgot to say earlier this week that my utthita hasta padangustansana was getting much better, leg much straighter and I felt that by pulling up on the toe made so much difference and made balancing easier too. Not tonight though, I just didn't have the strength...

In fact I don't want to talk about it, I just want to go to bed and wake up tomorrow feeling better :o(

Monday's practice is just too short!

2010-12-15T08:42:00.000Z

When did my practice go from feeling like the longest thing in the world to feeling like it's just too short?!!!

I remember when I first got David Swenson's full primary series DVD and thinking 'god, i'm going to have to set half a day by to be able to practice this!'... Now, it just flies by, even tonight, when normally I struggle through the sury bs, they flew by, in fact I think I may have even mis-counted and done 6!!! lol

Since my knee injury almost 6 months ago now, and not being able to practice for what seemed like an eternity, it's taken me no time at all to get back to doing all jump backs and throughs etc between each posture, and yet now they don't even feel enough! It's like yoga chikitsa's swallowing me whole, I'm completely consumed by it, I go to bed thinking about it, I wake up in the night practicing in my head and it's the first thing I think of in the morning! I practice it, I teach it, I read it, I talk it, I draw it, I paint it.....Aaaargh!!!!

Anyway......even though this is happening and there's no better place to be than my mat at the moment, I know that more than once a day would kill me, in fact, I know that 7 days a week (full primary) would finish me off...and they talk of the paradox of yoga....

Thursday 9th December, although a bit late ;o)

2010-12-15T08:28:00.000Z

I'm behind on writing my blog!! Aaargh! I hate xmas, too much to do, not enough time, especially when all I want to do is hibernate!!!

Anyway...Thursday, full primary led by V, and assisted by K, a fellow 'vinyogini' praticing for the first time her adjustments! K did extremely well, and with unfloundering confidence, well done K :o)

My practice was great. I was all fired up and ready to go! But found myself not being able to keep up with the led class flow, Surys were veeerrry fast, and I found myself needing to take a breath in between the Bs, which didn't really happen! So this is making me think now, is it time for me to break free of the led class situation? Move into Mysore-style full time? I read my post back from Tuesday, such a great practice, on my own, in my house, to my own breath and at my own pace.. This appears to be where my progress lies and led seems to be just another practice... Or is it too premature? (I'm not talking giving up my assisted self-practices btw - love them) 3 years of practice now, hmmm... not sure, give me your thoughts! Reading Grimmley's blog is just so inspiring, and it's all his own work, amazing... Kai's 365 day yoga-practice-challenge, also inspiring, maybe I should try this in 2011?? So many yogis, so much inspiration!!!!

Teaching my sister

2010-12-09T21:23:00.000Z

Teaching my sister was always going to be a challenge, because she always has to be right!!! But she's actually taking me teaching her on a wednesday really well, even though we're only on the 2nd week! It was nice of her to tell me that my talk through was ropey last week and that this week it was loads better. It flowed more, and I tried to think about how I practice and how the sequence flows through my head when I'm practicing and it worked much better. It helped that S wasn't butting in every five minutes talking about the state of her feet and how she needs a pedicure etc etc!!! lol

The sequence is very much modified due to her ACL transplant... She finds the seated sequence hard to do, especially bending and twisting the leg as in padmasana and even the Janusirsasana sequence...although Janu A today was done with a pillow beneath her poorly knee which helped a lot... Makes me think her hips aren't open enough and it's pulling on the outer ligaments and her transpalnted one in particular...

S's physio guy says she should carry on with the yoga, with the modifications and lean into her boundaries, whihc is what we teach people anyway! So that's good.

I really liked the teaching practice today, my analogies need some working on, S says I should tape myself and listen back, but I'm sure I'd be rolling around on the floor laughing at how I sound!!! lol Looking forward to next week :o)

PS - S is ALREADY adjusting herself as soon as I come anywhere near her - 2 weeks!! Brilliant!

Tuesday's practice at home

2010-12-07T20:25:00.000Z

The weather is disgusting, far too cold, I spent this afternoon doing site visits at work driving round in a car without any heating, de-icing the inside of the windows and was just freezing. My gloves were even so cold I had to take them off to warm my hands up! Wierd!! Anyway, I was so cold that when I came back home I decided to practice in the comfort of my own house, to my own timescale and stay nice and warm. So I did!

What a practice I had! I started by watching a few videos of jump backs on youtube.com, just to get my motivated. I thought that I would really focus on jump backs today and take my time with them. I like the way Sadie Nardini teaches them, with a few little hops to get your arms used to holding weight, then on about then 3rd I jumped back. Haven't got a clue how it looks, but it felt good! I missed a couple out towards the end of the stead sequence but that was it.

Everything felt good in fact... I think it was because I practicing at my own pace, not rushing it to go anywhere or do anything. Just set aside time for yoga and made the most of it. In then end, I spent 2 hours practicing and 30 mins watching videos. It's now 8:15 and I haven't even eaten yet! Might make a butternut squash curry, mmmmm.....

Anyway, my sury As felt great, I turned my palms up to the sky and really stretched and it made a real difference. My Bs weren't bad either, I needed to take some extra breaths in between them but I think that was because I was going for it with the jump backs. I did hurt my big toe though doing rolling over the toes, need to perfect the lift of the hip in rolling back that J tried to get me to do as he said it'll take the pressure off my toes, I need to though cos it kills! I also tried swinging through with blocks, that's cool and you kinda get the feeling of what you're meant to do. I swung through to sit with the block too, now that was funny... I flew through at, what felt like 100 miles an hour! I think the blocks were a little too high! I wish my arms were just 1 inch longer - i think that'd be perfect!! lol

Ooh, almost forgot, I did ardha baddha padmottanasana for the first time in over 7 months....maybe more, I really concentrated on closing the knee tight, to track my patella correctly, then istead of twisting the knee, let the hip and knee fall out slowly, then twisted the foot and ankle and gently placed it on the top of my thigh. It worked! No pain! No forward bend though, not yet! I also did it seated :o)

Anyway, enough for now, a good practice, I deserve some food and a good night's sleep :o)

Monday Mysore at home

2010-12-06T18:59:00.000Z

The festive season is upon us, as are xmas parties which can only mean taking up my yoga nights! But I shouldn't moan, it's only once a year...thank god!

Anyway, I'm off out tonight so can't attend my normal Mysore class. Luckily though I did have some time before I have to head off so decided to do some at home instead. I have had an awful pain in my left shoulder all day which seems to just be getting worse and did not shift with any pain relief. Whilst the shoulder's a little clicky still, the yoga has done the trick and taken the pain away, yay! I also had a bit of a moment earlier when I realised my payment paid yesterday to my credit card hadn't gone through today, so after 2 phone calls with no help whatsoever, I nearly lost the plot. But yoga came and saved me from myself yet again... thank you ashtanga, I love you!!!

It's so cold here at the moment, today ridiculously so... and I'd left my mats in the car, and was too lazy to go and get them so decided to practice on the wooden floor of my dining room. I know I've said this a couple of times before, but what is it about practicing on a natural material that makes it work better?! I instantly felt more groundly, less wobbly and could the apana working a treat! I might give up on mats all together...apart from the 'rock and roll' bit, I don't want to be black and blue!!!

My normally really dodgy warriors, all wobbly and uneven, were really good tonight, and I'm putting it down to the wooden floor. In fact my whole standing sequence was much more grounded and controlled, which makes such a difference.

My first back bend was terrible, really stiff, but I moved hands further from my head and the second was much better, got arms really straight and stayed up comfortably with a nice even breath for a lot longer than normal. My forward bends are so great now, the pain has totally gone from the back of my knee *Michelle touches wooden floor* and especially in the standing ones I'm 'folded' in two, face touching shins which has never happend before! Feels great. I will put that down to better knees but definately better understanding of bandhas and the fact that my bandhas are now 'joined up' when before they were completely two seperate entities, ie. when I engage my mulabandha my uddiyana bandha follows, or 'flies up' as the case may be!!!

Anyway. whilst I didn't do the full sequence tonight, I did the DYP sequence, some yoga is better than no yoga as they say and I feel, as always, better now... Now that I don't want to shoot any Lloyds TSB call centre operators.... ;o)

Thursday full series..

2010-12-02T21:55:00.000Z

My practice today was not bad, considering I feel like a complete bloater.

My stomach felt as if it was getting in the way of every other part of my body today, squashed between my armpit and my thigh in utthita parsvakonasana, almost touching my face in the sarvangasana sequence (shoulderstand) and generally being a bit of a pest. I need to lost some weight.... I always put on weight in winter though, a layer of fat to protect me from the cold nights! I can't let this happen! Maybe cutting out the wheat will help, I'll get some spelt bread from the health shop tomorrow and start eating for my blood type properly. I'm also going to get a colonic cleanse. I've decided. I've read really good things about it and tbh, I don't care anymore, I need to do something to sort my stomach out, it's appalling. And quite frankly, ruining my life!

Anyway.... today my trikonasanas were good, I'm not so anal about getting my hand down to my foot now, I have better postural integrity with it further up the shin (I have long legs!), so that's where it can stay for the time being...until my spine grows (or my legs shrink)!! My back bends were not too bad believe it or not, did the warm up 2 then two full, my arms felt stronger today too so I held up for a little longer than normal.

Couldn't get my hands low enough in shoulderstand, so it felt all out of balance and hard work, didn't enjoy it this week... Head stand was better, I've decided that to get my back straight, without that arch I'm used to having, is to concentrate on it before I go up, then keep my bandhas really engaged as I'm going up and somehow it feels like it works. Obviously I can't see it so I will have to ask. J should be able to tell me tomorrow, seeing as he's the one who pointed it out...

My forward bends all in all are coming on a treat. The pain behind my knee is almost completely gone, my hips feel more open bending forward and the difference in just 2 weeks is amazing. Chest to the thigh no problem in most of the forward bends now. (Although my left hip is more open that my right ;o)

One things that was terrible today was my mind. Completely unstill. All over the place. Even resting, I could not come inside of myself. My head felt as if it was buzzing and literally shaking. Not nice and not something I've experienced before and I don't know why it happended! Not as if I'd drank too much caffiene or anything... hmm..

Anyway, hopefullt it will be better tomorrow! We'll see..

Wednesday yoga with Sister and knees...

2010-12-02T21:38:00.000Z

My sister hasn't done any yoga since she did her knee in, in I can't remember which posture, 2 years ago... The ended up a year later having ACL knee reconstruction by way of a tendon transplant (from a dead person and everthing!), that was 7 months ago and her progress and healing is going well. For my sister who has always had a battle with her weight, a mixture of working out at the gym and ashtanga was the best combination for her to lose weight, so she's been looking forward to reconvening a yoga practice for some time.

So I decided to give her a lesson! (And to practice my teaching!) Albeit, a bit 'vinyasa kramary' to suit the needs of the knee. She has very good movement in the knee, but some of the postures she found hurt. I brought along a large bolster for the Triang Mukha, as I'd read that this posture (but done with both legs back at the same time) was a great one for ACL recovery. The ones which hurt were the ones which involved twisting the knee as well as flexing it, namely padmasaana.. mind you, even simply crossing the legs in a seated position was making her yelp in pain.

Now, I've read somewhere that padmasana is a posture which should only really be attempted if your hips are open or else it'll be too much of a strain on the knee. In ashtanga padmasana is there in a few different forms, as if there is no problem with the posture even for beginners. Knowing what I know about the knee, my own injuries, taking to other ashtangis about padmasana, I've come to the conclusion (and my own opinion) that padmasana should not be attempted by beginners unless you can demonstrate that your knees can touch the floor in a posture such as baddha konasana, or even just when seated cross leg, your knees aren't pointing towards the ceiling!! But that's my opinion... siddhasana is a much kinder posture to the knees and, in my opinion, looks nicer too :o)

Anyway, twinges aside, and 2 hours 20 mins later, we finished and she loved it! I did the DYP sequence with her which was enough. However, in terms of my own teaching practice, the feedback was that I sounded completely forced! lol! Well, what do you expect, it was either that or sound like my own teacher!!! lol. And tbh when it came down to it, I couldn't even remember how V describes the postures! What a teacher I will make!! ;o)

Mysore Monday

2010-11-29T21:37:00.000Z

Today's practice felt as if it was really building on Friday's. The jumping through to sits has improved ten-fold, today I got my legs through crossed just skimming the bum on the floor as they went through. I'm definately getting there :o) And it feels good!

I got my chest right onto my thigh in Janu A with some assistance from V, although my knees was not on the floor, I don't care cos I don't want to ruin it! It'll come with time and hea1 ling.. I've started trying Janu C on the recommendation of J, which I must say I hate, what's the point of it? To bugger up your knees? Ankles maybe? Toes too? Someone please tell me ;o) It just hurts!!!

Purvottanasana was appalling...enough said.

Loads of progress and a simple tip from V telling me to tilt the pelvis forward first in the upavista konasana, got my chest to the floor for the first time ever! Was a bit tough on my right knee but I'm putting that down to my physio poking and prodding it this afternoon!! Hopefully one day I wioll be able to pull myslef to the floor and hold myself there!

Back bends were good. RF's tips in bringing the feet closer to the hands is definately a winner. Still need to do the warm up BBs though, can't risk going straight up, I wouldn't be able to lie straight for a week!!

Supta bandasana is getting stronger. Legs almost straight with little tension in the butt cheeks. Still have to keep hands on the floor as I don't have confience in my neck just yet, but this will come with time.

Head stand was good, didn't feel as if I was arching my back as much today, I think I did it by keeping my legs a little more forward which seemed to straighten out my back..not that I could see it or anything, but it felt better anyway... V had me push out, head off the floor today which I found easy, balancing there once up is a different matter all together though ;o)

In terms of remembering the sequence....I managed it all (except ardha baddha padmottanasana) but don't tell the teacher!

(That one ruins my knees anyway ;o)

Friday Thursday Tuesday Monday...

2010-11-28T12:25:00.000Z

I'm feeling guilty as I haven't managed to catch up with writing my blog for a whole week! I know.... Anyway, I'm here NOW and whilst I should probably be practicing yoga I need to just write about it a bit..!

Out of the blue it seems, I'm now practicing 3 full primary series per week! OK, they're all under the guidance of a teacher but at least they're being done! My home practice therefore, is mainly the DYP or AYP sequences, which is great as I can fit them in easier to my schedule of (at the moment it seems) mainly work and sleep!!

I've been mainly working on my jump backs and jump throughs this past 2 weeks. I'm thinking about doing the movements more now, being aware of how I'm doing them as opposed to just messily flinging my legs back and jumping to a thud on the floor. They're not as slow as I need them to be to perfect them but this will come with more awareness and control and arm strength and courage (believing I'm not going to break my wrists or fingers by leaning forward!) I noticed on Thusrady that if I widen my arms a little more when jumping through to sit that I can almost get both legs through...what a simple thing...why didn't I try that before?!! lol

On Friday J got me to try my backbend with the chair method.. Basically lie with your calfs and feet on the seat of a chair, back on the floor and then lift so your feet are on the chair.. It accesses a completely different part of your spine (upper thorasic?!) and opens your shoulders too, I loved it, much nicer than the the horrible normal backbends which, to be honest, I completely hate doing...!!

On the knee front, they're getting much better.. Not sure whether it is the physio I'm doing? Possibly.. it's definately helped with getting over the fear of standing in my natural hyperextended way. Anyhow, much less pain behind the knee. This week they've been so good that I've actually managed full forward bends without bending my legs! I haven't been able to do that for 5 months now! Talking of forward bends. Seated ones.. What is it about a teacher just applying pressure to your upper thighs that makes it easier to bend forward more deeply? J did this to me on Friday. I feel as if by doing that it relaxes the muscles which are stopping me from folding, it's very strange but works.

The biggest thing this week which is really helping with folding though is I've managed to conquer 'hollowing out' my lower belly. V has started using this instruction in class and it really makes sense. It's a bit like doing nauli kriya, accessing both moola and uddi at the same time, it really allows your belly to reach your thighs. Great tip!!

Friday Mysore Style

2010-11-19T22:27:00.000Z

Spent an hour of quarter getting to class tonight in the Friday night rush hour traffic in Birmingham! Nevertheless, yoga is ALWAYS worth it!!

Tonight I worked on my jump backs and jump to sits. I made a massive progress I think, just from a few tips and another demonstration from J where he held me under the belly and on top of my shoulders and held me in the air during my jump back so I could feel what's going on. I definately just need to practice... I remember dying to be able to do chaturanga and practicing it and practicing it for hours and days and after about 3 weeks I finally got it, something 'clicked' in my triceps which let me hold my body off the floor! It really doesn't take long for your body to learn how to do something... it just needs perserverance, I truly believe that. And chakrasana, I remember being able to do a backwards roll when I was young at gymnastics, but now I am over 30 found my self too scared to roll over the back of my neck in fear of breaking it I guess...but a couple of hours across a couple of days was all it took and I was flying over the back of my head and landing David Swenson style (more or less!) legs straight and everything! Practice and all is coming (KPJ).

J got me to stop and not not let my bum come down in my jump through, and then to shuffle the feet through the arms and then sit. Seems to work! How simple! NO more lift then sits either before jump backs, just cross legs, pull to belly, hands in front and swing legs back...all in one swift movement! The 'swift movement' needs a little work though ;o)

My baddha konasana is so easy with the assist off J, I need to se if I can recreate what he does on my own, as BK is apparently one of the 'key' postures, according to someone....! The other konasanas are getting better too, but again, need assists to push me in the right direction. I have muscles clinging for their lives not wanting me to do these postures!!! Sorry muscles, you've got no chance!!! lol

I've even learnt off my heart the first 4 lines of the opening mantra! The other lines are a bit more difficult, but again, a bit of practice... :o)

Thursday and stepping it up at class..

2010-11-19T22:14:00.000Z

Today V decided to step it up at the Ashtanga Vinyasa Primer Class by making it into a full primary series talk through. Loved it as I was completely not expecting it and so really went for it. The one thing which I really felt improved today was..you'll never believe it... Navasana! I know...

I know it sounds silly but I have found that if you raise your arms a bit higher, past the parallel to the floor level, it pulls your chest forward and up and as a result the muscles at the top of your legs contract to hold you in position and allow your legs to straighten, albeit with a little extra effort from the quads! Result! Be your own teacher and your own disciple (Krishnamurti)....

I wish I'd asked the regulars to this class how they felt afterwards, having done the full primary series, as I doubt most of them have ever attempted it (not that there are many opportunities to practice FP in Cov), I hope they felt ecstatic!

Wednesday the 17th..

2010-11-17T20:52:00.000Z

I couldn't wait to get on my mat when I got home today! I haven't practiced since last Thursday at V's, so I desperately needed it.. Despite feeling a little larger these past weeks I felt quite light today, managing the jump backs without making too much noise on the floorboards and lifting bottom off the floor with relative ease! I also had quite a lot of energy, even though I've been walking to and from work these past few days due to my car being a bit broke...

SO what went well today? My shoulderstand was really good, poker straight as far as I could feel and really got my hands down the back, with no slippage either, result! Can't bear looking at my stomach in the shoulderstand sequence though, does anyone else get that?!!! Just wish it was a bit firmer!!!

Backbending, not one of my strengths, is getting better with a new technique V taught me (courtesy of RF).. Put hands in place and come on to tip toes, then without lifting off the floor, shove yourself so knees go past the ankles, then on an in breath I think, thrust up, still with toes on floor until you get up then put heels to floor. It gives you more of a 'bend', quite tough on the lower back/sacral area, but much better on the arms and you can feel your quads working better too.

Purvottanasana much better too, again courtesy of RF (through V) where before you thrust hips up your bend the knees slightly and put you toes in place on the floor, then you lift your hips...Normally I can't feel which muscles I'm meant to use in this posture but this seems to make it easier, even though I still don't feel as if I know what I'm doing! Ha!

Sirsasana definately getting better, so close to going up straight, just need that little bit more energy.. Held for 5 breaths with legs parallel to floor, very pleased.

Spent a few breaths longer in paschis and konasanas today, try to try give the hips a bit more of a move in the right direction. Although the standing forward bends are relatively good, head touching the floor and so forth, gravity doesn't seem to want to bring my belly anywhere near the floor in the uphavistha konasas...

I left out Janu C and Mari B & C as with my knees I just don't think I'm getting any benefit from putting the simplified version in... anyone disagree?!

I did miss out supta parsvasahita though!!! Aargh!!! But apart from that I'm nearly there with learning the full sequence! Why is it always that one I miss?! Strange!

Knees feel fine too, let's hope they don't hurt tomorrow for practice...

Tuesday Birthday!

2010-11-16T13:28:00.000Z

Instead of observing the class today I decided to practice as it was my birthday and I wanted to be nice to myself! V has made this class more akin to the full practice now, and today there were no new starters, so everyone had to get involved! It was a good practice, it was v cold though, so I didn't break much of a sweat..and certainly not as good as yesterday!

Knees weren't too good in adjustment in Triang, can't deal with the pressure when having hip pressed down, will back of this one for a while. Got up with straight legs in Sirsasana with a little bit of help by V, definately getting better. Although I got cramp when holding legs parallel to floor when coming down, which I will put down to being too cold. Will pay more attention to this feeling next time ...

Monday 8th November

2010-11-16T13:20:00.000Z

I left this Mysore class exhilarated, yet another reminder of why I do this practice! I slowed my breath down and enjoyed it (led classes certainly are faster!) and I think the entire sequence took about 1hr 45. Had a lovely stretch in urdhva dhanurasana thanks to V and another student :o) Was very hot and sweaty which always makes it better, another reminder of how important the generation of heat is to the body and the practice.

Very excited as V banded the idea around about making this class the traditional Mysore style practice, comlpete with opening chant! You know I love this, whether or not I find the words a bit strange (the english not the sanskrit), I don't think it matters to me. Chanting in a room with a number of other people is magical. I know the first time I did the chant in Goa with David Swenson I felt a bit wierd, but I soon realised how chanting seems to combine the energy in the room in to one huge energy force and it is very powerful. I hope the others agree to making it part of Monday nights... exciting!

Friday night at the Buddhist Centre, Birmingham

2010-11-06T10:27:00.000Z

I met a wonderful, wonderful man tonight. One of those spirits that you do not come across very often, who radiates warmth and love and light. One of those people you are instantly drawn to. And so much knowledge. (Comes from and Iyegna background).

I loved it all the minute I walked into the room where he was burning my favourite incense of all time, Frankinscense, which reminds me of going to church as a kid and is sooo comforting. We then started off with the Ashtanga chant, which I love! It really does set the scene for the practice. I MUST incorporate this into my practice. (Note to self: Must learn chant) lol!

It was Mysore style self practice and the first thing he asked was about any injuries. He then helped me to adpat my practice throughout, where he thought I may be putting stress on the hurty bits. He asked which bits of the practice we wanted to work on and I didn't really know how to anser that as I wanted to say 'all of it' but I felt like a bit greedy thinking that! I was like a kid in a sweet shop as there were only 5 of us in the room and we were getting lots of attention, it was like a mini-workshop! He helped K and I with our jump backs, just a hand on the belly and one on the upper back...and we floated back through the air! (Well, possibly not without the odd yelp! from me whilst in the air, and possibly not as 'light' as I had hoped!)

Anyhow... I got the feeling of how it should be jumping back and it felt good. He did the famous Mari C adjustment, which felt effortless! I could breathe tooo - yaaay! He also showed me I was grabbing my arm too low in Mari A & B, so I raised it up a bit and Bob's your uncle, a full wrist grab, perfect!

My shoulderstand felt fantastic, really high up this time, I think sweat and heat has a lot to do with how high I can hold up - the heat helps with traction on the hands and back. Must stay warmer! J put his finger beneath my neck to check for space - it slipped right through! I mouse definately could've been nesting there! Nice to know I am doing this one correctly with next off the floor.

Sirsasana - J advised something he'd learnt from a previous workshop with RF - to use your little fingers out as a mini stabilaiser for your headstand. I tried this, and although not completely feeling the love for it, I had the best headstand I'd had for ages. I floated up (knees still a bit bent though) and everthing felt effortless. I could feel the little fingers, but they didn't hurt or anything. I do have a bit of a backbend in the headstand which J corrected and it felt good. Held for 25 breaths, down to horizontal for 3 only today, but better than nothing, and then down. Ut Plutithi was good, strength in my arms is growing, so held off the ground (give or take a little toe) for 25 longish breaths! I wish I could do it properly in the lotus...maybe one day when knees are better :o)

All in all, wonderful practice, helped by an inspirational man. Loved it!

Wednesday and Thursday for a bit of a change...

2010-11-06T10:03:00.000Z

This week I have practiced Monday, Wednesday, Thursday (so far)

Tuesday I went to the gym and buggered my knees up by cycling for too long, cross training and doing the plank. I have to stop doing these things! I may cancel my subscription to remind me not to go....

On Wed I did my teaching practice at Cov Uni, a room of 30 students! I enjoyed it though, people listened and appeared responsive to suggestions and instructions which is good. I then went home and straight onto my mat for self-practice. I had all the intentions of doing the full primary, but it didn't work out that way, as it sometimes doesn't... ;o) I ended up doing the Ashtanga Primer variation, which to be fair only leaves a handful of postures and jump-backs out, so I didn't beat myself up about it. Some yoga is better than no yoga!!!

Thursday I went to my physiotherapy assessment in the morning where the nice man told me I had 'Anterior Knee Pain'. Helloooo?!! I could've told you that! No diagnosis still but he did say that the structure was OK - ie no breakdown of cartlidge, ligaments fine, muscles fine (albeit a bit weak at the quad) a bit of a small knee cap? Bizarre! And sore tendons at the front. Hopefully next week I can get some type of treatment for the pain, bit of accupuncture maybe?

I had the Ashtanga Primer class in the evening. Nothing major to report here really...did all the jump backs bar one after Mari B as that intense stretch seems to suck out any ounce of breath and energy me!! NOw I am building up the strength lost during the 2 months off, I think I need to work on the jump backs. I will have a look at Grimmley's blog to see how to start with that... Sirsasana is becoming really steady now. I can hold for 25 breaths easily every time. I'm thinking about pulling the shoulderblades down my back to straighten that out and broaden my shoulders. Seems to be working so far! Yay! Ooh, AND, I came down with straight legs and held them parallel to floor for the longest time yet!!! (About 5 breaths!) Get in!

Monday's meditation

2010-11-01T21:03:00.000Z

I had a 'rest' day today, normally it's my full primary practice with V, but I decided to give it a miss as I don't have the strength today and decided to do some meditation. My mind has been all over the place recently. It tends to get like this at this time of year and I'm not sure whether it's cos it's near my birthday which always makes me reflect and get moody, or whether it's due to the weather and dark nights or a combination of all... But I generally feel a little miserable... So I found out my favourite 15 minute chakra meditation with Yogatic on youtube and followed the guided mediation.

As soon as I started my head started to spin, somehow sitting in siddasana with a completely straight back and concentrating on my breathing makes my body resonate with the outside world and I can feel this spinning energy through my spine and out the top of my head. It's very strange but at the same time it helps with 'tuning in' to the body. (This probably sounds a little wanky ;o) However... what I did notice today was that there are some chakras which are really 'open' and some which are not. I say 'open', what I mean is that I can visualise the colour and the spinning of some of the chakras and some I can't visualise anything. My muladara chakra was vibrant red tonight and was bursting out of my body. The next one up I could not feel, the solar plexus was also non existent, my heart chakra was open but not as much as the mula, the throat was less, the third eye was OK, and the lotus at the top was OK, with a bright white light. I think the mula is the most powerful cos I meditate on it a lot during my vinyasa practice, everything else, is going to be less I guess!! The only things she doesn't do in this meditation is close the chakras, so I quickly have to do that at the end to prevent anything bad happening to me but keeping them open. Not sure how that works but I think people can steal energy from you if you don't close them... I'll ahve to ask my friend K...

Anyway. I started to do a relaxation meditation in savasana afterwards but felt as if I was going to fall asleep, so I got up. I didn't want to ruin my night's sleep!

Saturday with Paul Fox

2010-11-01T20:48:00.000Z

I went to an introductory day with Paul Fox today to get an idea how it would be doing a teacher training course with him. It was good, the guy is very switched on and not at all airy-fairy yoga, like some people are, all tied up in the bullshit that can come along with ashtanga vinyasa yoga. I liked him.

Meeting new teachers does kinda show how if you stick to one then you can become a product of your teacher; I do feel as if I am a product of V, but by putting my feelers out there where I can it does feel a little naughty, but exciting at the same time, and it can give you a new perspective and boost if your practice is feeling a little stuck, or weary or you're just a bit disillusioned with it all....

It's a lot of money, this course. And I don't really want to give V's course up for it. Not that I think I'd have to, but it'll be tight. I have a huge fear that I will not be able to teach a bunch of people, that my words will get all tied up in my throat, that I'll just go blank and not be able to speak, and it scares me. Does it scare me so much that I won't go for it? I'm not sure...

Anyway, the yoga today was different, it was the standard hatha style of class, as taught by a BWY teacher. I used to love going to these classes, they were very relaxing and made such a difference to my life. Very gentle to start, then a bit more challenging leading up to the main posture (cobra), then slowly relaxing back down. I often used to fall asleep in savasana! It was quite hard on my knees though and they killed by the end of the day. I think it was a combination of the return to step aerobics and too much yoga this week, damn knees...

I think what I need to ask myself is whether I want to teach this type of hatha? Or Ashtanga Vinyasa, or Ashtanga Krama? And which route would be the best one for me.. Paul did say one thing though, that 6 days a week ashtanga vinyasa for 2 years is a sure way to bugger up your body, that such a high level of repetition is no good for you! I think I agree...

Thursday Ashtanga Primer

2010-10-28T21:04:00.000+01:00

Wow... I'm shattered and it's only 20:49. Just been to ashtanga, worked really hard as it was very hot in there tonight, I also counted 19 people, the biggest class I've seen in ages - lots of body heat!

I am feeling at my parsvakonasana is coming along nicely...I can really feel the benefit of mula banda in this one now, in helping to get deeper into the posture, it's like pouring yourself over your thigh, I like it.

My setu bandasana is coming along too...my neck must be stronger than I think as I can now take my arms away from the floor and roll almost onto the forhead, although I'm a bit shakey. Coming down remains a big relief ;o)

My chakrasanas are becoming stronger again with the improvement in my knees..my legs are coming down straighter and straighter each time which is good. Still need a bit of a 'swing' into it though, but I don't care, David Swenson said it was OK to do it from a seated position to get momentum, rather than just lifting yourself through from lying down, which is a killer (for me anyway).

My surys were good today, rolling over the toes felt a lot better than it has done for a while, I don't know whether the gap in my practice just softened them up a bit, but they have been hurting for a while. Today they didn't thogh, they felt strong and I liked the way they felt as I was doing it do I slowed it down! Bit strange I know...

My breathing in sury Bs was better today (see probs mentioned in earlier post) not extra breaths before coming up into warrior, good news.

My upavista konasana is improving too, it used to be terrible but with the improvement in my wide legged forward bends in the standing sequence, must come an improvement in this one too?! I just wish V would adjust me more often in it, I really concentrate in trying to use a wave like motion in my body to work my chest to the floor, on Monday there were mirrors and I could see that I was about a foot off the floor, so I'm making progress.

Think I might have a hot milk and go to bed now... I have a load of ironing but that can wait til tomorrow night :o)

Tuesday's trials

2010-10-27T17:01:00.000+01:00

I did what I don't normally do on a Tuesday and did practice then went to my teaching class! I just felt like I needed to do it. My energy levels were there as soon as got home, so got straight down to it in the spare hour I had before class.

OK, so I didn't do ANY vinyasas... BUT I did some practice, so I shouldn't beat myself up over that should I?! And it was only up to navasana then into the finishing sequence. Talking about navasana, I have over the previous few weeks been toying with different styles of holding 'the boat' out of the water, pointing toes, expressing heels, combinations of both and at class tonight V said that RF had said push through the ball of your feet, which I'd already worked out for msyelf felt the correct way to engage the required muscle groups. Just shows what your body can work out for itself....

Doesn't mean however that my quads feel any more powerful... my crappy purvasana is testament to that!!! It's absolutely awful... Which muscles do you use to hold you up? I just cannot get it,... out of all my practice this posture makes me look as if I have never done ANY yoga before in my life!! LOL I point my toes and my whole body sinks! Amazing...I'll look it up in my anatomy/physiology books and see if they have the answers! Any further ideas, answers on a postcard please and I'll try them out :o)

My breathing was really sketchy, in Sury Bs I was adding in an extra breath going from chaturanga into upward dog, why did that start happening? Hello?!!! lol I must try to breath deeper at home, there seems to be a marked change in breathing technique in class and at home, they need to be the same.

Teaching the class tonight was a bit dodgy... sometimes people just don't seem to want to know! It's very strange how I can be received differently from week to week by the same people. I've always been receptive to teachers and even just their prescence near you gives me the incentive to push myself a little more, to straighten out my spine, lift my head or whatever....which makes me improve. I must say nights like this make me think twice about taking it up as a profession... Or maybe I'm just not ready for it. Hmmm...

Monday's Mysore

2010-10-25T21:51:00.000+01:00

Not so much of a Mysore style but a led class today, essentially to "remind us of the sequence". My teacher had also been to the Richard Freeman workshop in Oxford at the weekend so I think he wanted to pass on some new tips, which I think I found useful. It's always nice when a teacher brings something new to the table - sometimes in a led class they can sound a bit bored and repetative and it can be a bit sad :o( Anyway, Mysore or not, I had a bloody great practice. I think I must've sweated out loads of toxins too and now I feel great. (Albeit it ready for bed...)

There was a minute when bringing my legs up and over (straight) to get into sarvangasana when I felt a serious pull on my buttocks and lower back which wasn't good; I've had that before, generally when going from matsyasana into uttana padasana, but I normally give myself a little hug between the two postures to free up whatever is going on in the lower back, and that seems to work. Will be careful of raising legs straight in the future, I really don't need any more lower back problems...

One of the 'tips' from RF was in Mari C - apparently he says that it is OK to have your hips diagonal in this posture, so you start almost looking to the side, then to breath out 3 times whilst wrapping your arm around your leg to exhale as much air as possible from the belly. I did this and found that it worked (see last post about having to physically 'tuck' my belly in to get round!) This way I did not have to, yay!

My sarvangasana was a bit wonky today though...I didn't feel straight at all, like my bum was sticking out, nothing I did seemed to shift me any straighter, which is very strange for me, as I normally love this posture and do it well (ie. close to being able to balance on shoulders alone, being that straight).

Oh, and my standing balancing was so sketchy today, but I put that down to the moon cycle, which I fully expect to put me off balance.

Tomorrow I'm going to go into work early again, finish early, do practice then go to my class to teach. (I say this now and it might not happen exactly this way but at least I've got positive thoughts going on , ha! :o)

I just thought... I didn't get the burning pain in the back of my right knee today either, great!

Sunday evening with David...

2010-10-24T19:36:00.000+01:00

Where has the weekend gone? It's Sunday night already and just sleep (and maybe a bit of x-factor) between now and work :o(

I was dying to do some practice today, came home after a lovely dinner with mum and got the mat straight out. I used my newish mat today as I had left old faithful in the car. Bad Move. It's so slippy, I can't feel safe on it at all but I was too lazy to go out to the car to get the orange! Anyway... I did something I haven't done for a while now...David Swenson's short form DVD! I did the 45 min sequence as it is quite similar to the Dynamic Primer I'm practicing to teach. LOVE HIS VOICE!! I love David, official.

One thing I did notice today was that my breath is really quite fast. I had about 7 to his 5, and last Monday at Mysore-Style I was the first to finish, which just compounds the fact my breaths are way short. Should I try to slow them down or just keep to my natural rhythm? In fact, sometimes when I self-practice I add extra breaths on to some postures when I feel a nice stretch, so I suppose if I'm already doing that due to not feeling the benefit, I should make a concerted effort to lengthen the breath. It might make a better meditation out of it too.

I'm managing to reach my head to the floor in all prasarita paddottanasanas now, which says a lot about the states of my hip flexors! I do find it difficult to engage the front of the thighs though, it's like my body doesn't want to flex the knees, a bit weird. Maybe I should start the leg lifts again to strengthen the quads? The last thing I want to do is have another part of my body getting all messed up whilst compensating for my quads!!

I feel all bloated again. I felt great in Malaysia and I'm putting it down to bread/wheat. Had none for 2 weeks and felt great, so I'm going to try and stay away from it..now how do I make roti chennai???!!

That was beside the point... Yes, so, backbends were good, Mari A & C's are becoming really good. I bind now in C, and really get a good turn. It always feels amazing on the spine this posture, when done correctly, I used to hate it, and didn't bother with binding, but now I can do it correctly I love it. I love being adjusted in Mari C too! Although I've obviously put on weight round my middle as I have to move my stomach out of the way of my thigh ;o)

I nearly fell down in Sirsasana! I never do that! Aargh! I have to say though, the 45 min sequence doesn't really get you as warm as you need to be... my shoulderstands were a bit sketchy, especially karnapidasana, I almost couldn't reach my knees to the floor! I think I'll leave the short forms for when I'm in real need for some extra support off Dave ;o)

Hello...

2010-10-23T13:14:00.000+01:00

Not so much "angel" this week I'm afraid, Jet Lag has taken any ounce of energy I had left...! I am such an arse, as after waiting 7 weeks for an MRI scan to find out what's wrong with my knees I forgot to set my alarm clock and slept in and missed the appointment!! I can't believe it. Do I go back to the doctors or do I leave it and wait for the physio appointment who might be able to fast track me through the process? I'm very disappointed in myself, I've been beating myself up about it all morning, it'll probably last all weekend, grrrrr!!!!

Which brings me to the subject of how I treat myself. My yoga teacher is always telling me off for how I treat myself, he seems to just know when I'm down or beating myself up about something! He says ""ahimsa" (non-violence) applies to yourself too you know!" Be nice to yourself. Well, I do try but it takes concerted effort on my part. I beat myself up about not doing enough practice quiet often, and have to say to myself, "hey, come on, don't worry about the past, you cannot change it, be present, do some now, do some later, whatever!"

Anyway, I fell asleep way early on Tuesday so didn't make it to class, I did however make it to Thursday's class which was a bit of a strange class.... There were loads of new people and it really put me off! Don't know why, but I felt really on edge. I had a good practice though despite my mind being everywhere and even though I was aching all over from Mondays practice and tri-class (step aerobics/weights/crunches) which I had not been to since before I did my knees in which was before Italy, mid June?! I have to say that tri-class was great, I have missed it soooo much, I love the feeling of adreneline and feeling that my muscles have really worked! Although I think it'll be a couple of months before I'm back toned as I was in before June.

It was a moonday as well on Thursday. I don't respect moon days (as in I do practice), but I do find that I have a good practice on them, I seem to have more energy, which was how Thursday went. I did all the vinyasas and no pain in my knees, thank god. My balance was good too especially in utthita hasta pada, on the run up to moon days my balance is really shakey. I managed a really straight leg too, but the left is always better than the right in this posture, something to do with the right hip...

My navasana is definately improving, although I did think my thighs were starting to cramp through them!

My backbends are improving too, I'm moving my hands closer to the my feet now which feels great in my back, I wonder how it looks? Which reminds me, I must sort out the rope thing so I can start practicing drop backs at home. Sirsasana was great, didn't go up with straight legs but managed to hold legs parallel to floor for 3 breaths, a first!! Yay!

Post Malaysia Monday

2010-10-18T21:51:00.000+01:00

OMG, just got back from practice tonight, which was a new self-practice class with my normal teacher. I am still shaking from it though, not sure that's a good sign. Body doesn't know what's hit it. Did all vinyasas, first time I have managed that without pain since June 25th! So long ago now, can't believe it. My body has finally healed itself I think *touches wood*, and hopefully refining my techniques will help in making sure it doesn't happen again.

So what went well tonight? My 10 Surys went well, really warmed me up. My prasarita padottanasanas were all done (even C - yes C!) with my head pressing into the floor, what a difference the act of pressing your head down into the floor makes! Arms in C literally a foot off the floor, can feel the upper back and shoulders opening up in this one now.

Chakrasanas were really good! Landed with straight legs and straight down into chaturanga. First time I'd managed straight legs for ages in this posture.

My back bends were good, not hard at all tonight, did 2 warm ups and then 3 full backbends going onto my head between the 3.

Sarvangasana sequence spot on tonight, elbows stuck together without moving at all tonight, which makes a change, normally I have to shift them back toegther once I have my legs straight.

Headstand held for 25 long breaths, steady and controlled, could not hold legs horizontal to floor though, booo... I'm so tired now though....

Just made tarka dall for dinner, thought I'd have a bit of time away from indian food, but I got the calling :o)

Malaysian magic

2010-10-18T17:44:00.000+01:00

So I'm back from my holiday to Malaysia now, still trying to get over the jet lag though, and the cold (which I had before I went) and the cold sore I now have due to probable combination of heat/sun/air-con. All in all, I'm a bit ill, still...

So my good intentions to do my practice on beautifully manicured lawns of the hotel and the beach of the islands at sunrise did not come to (full) fruition. A) because there were no lawns at the hotel, and B) because I slept in past sunrise whilst in Pangkor Island. However, there was one morning where I did wake up and after 20 mins of trying to work out on my fingers what time of the day it was (I hadn't changed my phone time to Malay time) I got up and went to the beach to practice. And god it was lovely...

Why is it that when you practice outdoors and particularly on natural ground (grass/beach) that your practice takes another dimension? It's completely different. It's easier and more fluid and never feels like a struggle.. I was surrounded by nature, bats were darting about above me, crickets chirping in the distance, the waves crashing against the shore, beautiful. (I would say though, that the waves drowned out my ujjayi breath, which made it difficult to meditate fully as I did find it a bit noisey!) lol.

Normally, a morning practice finds me completely stiff and my joints all cold and not wanting to do much, but it wasn't like that this time. I can normally tell with my back in the inversions (especially Karnapidasana) as I cannot put my knees to the floor in the morning practice, but I wasn't far off at all this one morning. I did a bit of meditation on the beach afterwards too, although not for long in fear of having photos taken of me by Japanese tourists :o) The rest of the day was then lovely, relaxing on the beach for most of the day and chilling with friends.

I'm dreading tonight's practice in a way as I'm not 100%, and it's a new Mysore style class. At least I might be able to go at my own pace. And miss out some postures. Now I'm just being lazy ;o) I have had to just take some Ibuprofen though as I have a pain in my neck like I've pulled a muscle, hope that goes away. Might just go for a lie down now to re-energise - it's been a long day at the office...

Sunday Dynamic Yoga Primer

2010-10-03T10:18:00.000+01:00

Having had a nice early night last night, I was up for an early morning practice. Hit the mat at 8am. I have a terrible cold now so thought it would ease that, but I think that the ujjayi breathing has made my nose really hurt, like I've strained it! Boooo... I was reading in bed 'The Yoga Tradition of the Mysore Palace' just before practice and I had the pain in my back which I get if I 'lie in', so that spurred me on...

Anyway, decided to practice the Dynamic Yoga Primer series today, as I should be practicing that at least twice a week in order to teach it. It was a welcomed change to the mostly full practices I've done this week. The surys were dreadful though, I could hardly touch the floor and felt like I was bending at the waist rather than the hips. I did no jump backs/throughs as although I was nice and warm, my joints weren't warm enough and felt cracky. My balance was off during the standing sequence, I did utthita hasta padangustasana with my knee bent as I just couldn't be bothered to straighten my leg today. My seated postures were OK - Janu A which I did a couple of times I can now feel the benefits of the 'self adjustment' tip from Brian Cooper - must have another read of that book and pick up some more - they work, pulled the hip and knee right back, so my thigh was perdendicular to my outstreched leg, and the whole thing worked and I could feel the stretch right through my side, as is meant to be. Been practicing that for 3 years now and have never felt that stretch, just shows you...

Navasana was all right - tried pointing the toes, tried flexing the heels, tried a combination of the two, that worked, got straight legs for a couple of seconds in my final boat, brilliant news!

Nearly left it there, but did the beginner's backbend sequence; arms stretched out to start, then behind the hpis pushing the hips forward, then up into full dhanurasana. Nearly left it there again, but somemthing made me have another go up into full bridge, brought my hands closer to my feet this time, and felt the benefit.

Again, nearly left it there, thought about my 'ladies holiday', but thought 'get up there', so catapulted myself into salamba sarvangasana, and did 8 counts to all variations. Nearly left it there for reasons above, but then thought '**** it, get up into sirsasana you fool, you'll feel better and it'll make you look younge'r, so I did. And it was good, I pushed my feet towards the sky and made a concerted effort to press my forearms down into the ground and as i result i felt no tension in my lower back at all, it felt more balanaced and i stayed for twenty breaths, I then piked down, stayed with legs horizontal to floor for about 4 seconds then came crashing down. Balasana, padmasana, rest...

Having been so surprised by Friday's adjustment in bhujapi, I gave that a go after savasana, put head down without knocking myself out on floor (I think that was my main fear) then pulled feet towards tummy and there I was, no adjustment needed! This has given me extra confidence now to work towards jumping back, if I can go from Bhujapi to Bakasana, then one leg off at a time, I could start working towards the jump-back!!! It all comes together slowly!

All in all a good practice, albeit only an hour. Just to let you know though, got my tittibhasana bruises back - just what I need before I go on holiday!!! Aaargh!

Emanuele and Bella

2010-10-02T08:36:00.000+01:00

Friday night and I took myself off to Leamington Spa's Stone Monkey for a full primary series talk through in Sanskrit led my Emanuele and Bella from Oxford Yoga.
Emanuele Rossi and Bella Galt are both Ashtanga yoga teachers authorised by the Sri K. Pattabhi Jois Ashtanga Yoga Institute, Mysore, India. There were just 7 of us practicing in the SM space, which I have to say is just fantastic. The atmosphere was meditative and just how I like my space to be, they even had low lighting, instead of the blaring light of the normal rooms I practice in. All the ingredients were there for a great practice. The sanskrit took me back to 2008/9 when I was studying with David Swenson in India and I do absolutely love it, haven't been led in sanskrit since and it just made sense. Less to hear and more time to do, if that makes any sense?

Anyway, I have to start with how pleased I was that it would appear that the 'Mysore style' now has only 3 Surynamaskara Bs!!! Yay!!! No need to beat myself up if I cannot do 5! E & B have said so, and that comes from Sharath, and so it's fine! LOL! There are also less breaths when counted in this way, therefore where I normally 'look up and lengthen the spine', with the counted, it's just straight down into the posture. Less time to faff around and more time to be in the posture. E said it certain things had been changed to tighten the practice as it was felt that it was too long. Another 'cut' was there are only 2 paschimottanasana now, just clasping the toes and holding the wrists. Apparently there used to be 4 at one point, but Guruji said there was no point so it got reduced.

Bella was so lovely, I told her about my knees and how I was doing hip openers instead of the Janus etc, but she said it was OK to just do Janu A 3 times, just be work in that position and to rest the knees. Less to beat my knees up about again! It didn't matter either that I was only doing jump backs after each set of spostures instead of each side.

I had the most beneficial adjustment in bhujapidasana by E - I cannot get my head on the floor with my feet still off, but he effortlessly tilted my head forward, letting me put a big toes down just in case, then tilted my hips up towards the sky, and I could hold my feet off the floor! It felt great, and felt like I could stay there for hours! My new fav posture ;o) Can't wait to try that one again! I was told to point the toes of the floot on the floor in supta parsvasahita, where I'm used to flexing, and in navasana B also told us to point our toes, gutted - cannot do it when I point (see last blog)!.

Held sisasana for 20 breaths - great - piked down but couldn't hold legs horizontal - although I showed mum later and she said I held it horizontal for about 4 seconds! Back bend was tight and terrible though, as we didn't do any preparatory BBs like I'm used to to lengthen the back...

Had a panic when as soon as we'd finished sirsasana, E started counting over again as if we were starting Sury A - only to bring us back down to the mat for savasana. Mmmm... Well it was until I had a huge coughing fit and had to leave savasana to go to the bathroom so I didn't interrupt anyone! Anyway...

We had a little chat after the practice, they are both sooo lovely, I wish I was doing the Sunday workshop too, in fact I wish I lived in Oxford so I could go to their classes every day!! Such lovely people, so much warmth and positive energy, people you want to be around. Another thing is, is it just me or can you never really tell how old these yogis are? E looked about 21 and B about my age - but I'm sure they're at least 40! It's what yoga does to you I guess, you retain the youthful spirit. I think it's great anyhow, I hope I look as good as Bella when I'm her age :o)

E & B = Great night!

Thursday

2010-09-30T22:04:00.000+01:00

Today's practice was great. The room had been heated so everything seemed a little easier. Chaturangas getting much better, feel v strong lowering down from plank now, nothing but by toes and hands touching the floor; rolling over the toes without feet splaying out the sides, feels good. No knee pain tonight either which is good news after Monday's class when I had to stop at the backbend.

So my backbends were good, I even moved myself a little closer together and it worked, it didn't feel too hard or too strong, so will try that again next time as I need to start thinking about learning how to drop back and up. Which reminds me, I must buy some rope and make some adjusting apparatus to practice this at home. I used to hate back bends and a lot of the time I just couldn't do it due to so much lower back pain by the time I got there - this must have been about 1 year ago now since I felt like that and since I upped my practice, I don't have that pain anymore, which is magic :o)

I think I've finally got Navasana cracked, it's all in the heels! Yay! I've been pointing my toes, but doing that releases all the muscles needed to straighten the legs and to hold them straight! Why has it taken me so long to realise this?! I must admit though, Brian Cooper has had a lot to do with it - was reading his Art of Adjusting Tues night and he mentions expressing the heels in there, so... I also took his tip for 'self-adjusting' in Janu A, by grabbing the outside edges of the foot with the opposite hands, which results in a twisting motion which gives you a better stretch (the proper stretch), so that felt good. Setu Bandasana is getting better but my head bloody hurts as I'm not on the hairline yet, I've noticed no-one in the class does this pose correctly, just me (ie pushing the legs away straight), albeit a bit badly ;o) Might bring this up with V (my teacher) at our next meeting...

I'm shattered now though and off to bed. My sore throat feels as if it's turning into a tickly cough - not good - I don't want to be ill for my holiday! I hope it is better by the morning!!

Wednesday, peak of the week!

2010-09-29T08:51:00.000+01:00

A sore throat started coming on yesterday afternoon and this morning it is still there... best get the strepsils out, I don't have time for ginger and honey this morning, I'm already later than I normally am getting to work. That's because this morning I got up at 6:15 and did my yoga practice - yay! Really didn't feel like it but after getting out of bed it felt the right thing to do. I lit a candle and did my practice facing that; the only other light on being in the hall way. I like the ambience it creates, and promotes a more meditative state.

I like the way I do not have so many thoughts going round my head in the morning practice, and that I can concentrate on how the body feels, but I don't like how I'm so stiff and my joints ache - this morning, especially my hips, ouch, had to concentrate on hip openers instead of Janu B, C & D, but that's a given recently due to the strain on the knees... Head stand was good, I'm almost half way to piking up now - it's properly 'mind over matter' stuff trying to go up with your legs straight... I read some tips re Kino McGregor's practice and she teaches to 'push the pelvis forward', so I tried to remember that, whilst remembering to keep my upper back straight , my shoulders rolled down my back, my weight in my elbows etc etc.. I'll get there, I WAS hovering for a couple of seconds, but didn't have the strength for that last push. Maybe tomorrow!! There's always tomorrow's practice... Rome wasn't built in a day, so they say :o)

Anyway, I'm off to work now, in the rain, but hey, 3 days to go til my 2 week holiday, so I cannot complain too much!

The Spine

2010-09-28T20:56:00.000+01:00

So today was my teacher training day, where I help out at the class. I was looking forward to someone new starting so that I could give the introduction talk, but there was no-one, so I was let off the hook. My public speaking isn't great at the best of times, so I'm a little nervous about my brain not connecting with my mouth and me just sounding ridiculous and not like I know what I'm talking about, but I think it's one of those things where if I 'just do it' then it'll be over and done with and I won't know what I was so worried about. A bit like when I first tried to describe the enforcement process at work, or the planning application and appeals process or whatever, I didn't really know what was spurting out of my mouth, but it sounded good so I just let it come out! Ha!

I'm still wary about touching people in the class, especially not knowing how to adjust properly, but I think I got involved more than last week anyway. I can see people responding to my touch, especially in terms of shoulders and upper back, drawing them away from the ears and lengthening the spine. However, a bit further down the spine is where I come unstuck; people have such different curves in their backs, I do not know what can be correct by adjustment and what cannot. And until I can feel like I know the answers to these questions I cannot feel completely comfortable with the spine. I've a couple of anatomy books, Coulter's and Kaminoff's, so I'm gonna give the spine sections a bit of a read tonight to see if any of my questions can be answered.

I'm not sure whether to do a self-practice in the morning or a led sun-power in the evening tomorrow. I'll set my alarm for early and see how it goes :o)

Monday

2010-09-28T08:10:00.000+01:00

I was really looking forward to my full primary practice yesterday evening. Unfortunately, I think that yesterday's workshop took it's toll on my body, well, my knees and something went wrong with them and just after setu bandasana, I lost it! They both 'caught' this time, argh! Anyway, it stopped me from backbend and headstand, booo... So I didn't really feel the full benefits of the practice. I was also tired and after surys didn't do any vinyasa, just changed sides. My standing sequence if a funny one... I've noticed that if I press my big toe down when balancing in utthita hasta padangusthasana, my hip does something and I can strech my leg out more, it's like I'm propoerly squaring my hips. It feels good. It's just a bit harder, but I guess that is because by doing it I'm not taking the path of least resistance. Which is good. My right hip aches today and my knee cap feels as if it's popping out, so I'm glad I'll be teaching tonight :o)

Dynamic Yoga Primer Workshop

2010-09-26T19:40:00.000+01:00

So today I attended a "DYP" workshop, run by my regular teacher. We focussed on the sequence of the DYP, the vinyasa/or the linking sequence and its dynamics, and each posture in great detail. Absolutely loved it. Beginning to finally feel as if I know what I'm talking about when I talk a student through a posture, but wish I had the confidence that what I am saying is correct for their body, if you know what I mean.

Everyone is so different; have muscles in different places, curves, different lengths of parts of their bodies and limbs etc. but this is what I love, learning to realise everyone's different and have different needs and boundaries. At the same time I find it a real challenge and keep having to ask the teacher when I am adjusting, "why is this bit doing this.. and that" etc etc... It's all a learning curve I guess. But the more I do it the more I'll feel comfortable with it until one day I won't even think about it and it'll come naturally.

On one hand I cannot wait til this time comes; on the other I know that wanting it so badly is completely against the basic yogic principles, and as such, know that I need to take a step back and look at it logically... enjoy the moment while it's here, live in it, be it, basically do not wish your life away, because life's too short to live in the 'I can't wait until...'. I've done so much of that wanting and know how negative it is, I do not want to live in that way again.

So anyway, I went a bit over the top with regards to my knees, focussing on postural integrity, so I'm a bit achey now. But feel great. Actually just thinking back to today, I taught one girl to not hold her heel in Janu A (she was complaining after doing the posture that her ankle hurt) and instead to hold the ball of her foot, extend out through the heel and the ball, pulling the toes back naturally, and she felt the difference straight away, it didn't hurt her ankle it loosened off the stretch from the knee and no hurty ankle! Yay!!! Just that one tip did, thinking back on it, made my day! My Surys were good, chaturanga no problem (my triceps will kill tomorrow though cos I'm already shaking!), holding it for a while before ascending into upward dog, felt good, nice back bends.

On a completely different note, I've been listening to some music recently and have realised there are more bands than you'd think that focus on the principles of yoga in their lyrics, Arcade Fire being on of them... One of the main songs is "Kettles", which has echoes what I've just been saying...

" I am waiting, til I don't know when, 'cos I'm sure it's gonna happen then..
Time keeps creeping, through the neighbourhood;
killing old folk, waking up babies just like they knew it would..."
"They say a watched pot, will never boil,
I closed my eyes and nothing changed, just some water, getting hotter, in flames.."
"It's not a lover I want no more, and it's not heaven I'm pining for,
but there's some spirit I used to know, that's been drowned out by the radio..."

I also have this thing for 'time' and what it means to us. Damien Rice has a great song with some lovely lyrics... "Older chests reveal themselves
Like a crack in a wall
Starting small, and grow in time
And we all seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf
of too many books
Read me your favourite line"
"Some things in life may change
And some things
They stay the same..
Like time, there's always time
On my mind
So pass me by, I'll be fine
Just give me time..."

Anyway, I think I've gone on for long enough now, I've started to depress myself! Looking forward to my practice tomorrow. Hope I don't ache too much and the pain in the back of my right knee eases in the night...

Sunday

2010-09-26T08:39:00.000+01:00

I didn't practice yesterday as I felt ill after overdosing on coriander in a aubergine curry...eurgh. I'll remember not to use the entire bunch of it next time, just for me.. But, to make up for it I'm going to an ashtanga workshop today with my teacher. I'm looking forward to it. I wonder what I will learn today?

My knees have been playing up the last 2 days, especially the left, really annoying, maybe it was the half vinyaysas I've started adding into my practice this week; I've been doing no vinyasas since they've been bad, just the ones in the Surys.. I don't know, I'll use them again today and see how I feel later.

My stomach still feels a little dodge actually, hopefully my breakfast will have gone down sufficently before embarking on any stomach squashers later ;o) ooh...

Ashtanga Vinyasa

2010-09-24T20:01:00.000+01:00

So I started practicing Ashtanga Vinyasa yoga in the style of Shri K Pattabhi Jois (or there abouts ;o) in July 2007. My practice was gym-based to begin with, but I was immediately hooked, in particular on the energy I seemed to create and that feeling kept me coming back for more. In 2008 my friend and I spent 2 weeks in India with David Swenson and this experience just exacerbated my desire to practice. However, my practice remained class-based and 2 times a week for quite a while, trying to fit in the odd David Swenson DVD practice at the weekend.

I was practicing 3 times a week at least for about a year until last October (2009) I broke my elbow, foolishly playing netball, (teach me to try and regain my youth...I'll leave that up to headstand in the future) and something in me clicked; all of a sudden I could not do yoga, I didn't realise how much that would affect me but it did! At the same point in time, it was as if the pain that I felt with my break was transporting me right into the present - I couldn't think about the future, or the past, just the pain I was in at that exact moment! It was, to coin a bit of a wanky phrase, 'an epiphany'!! I suddenly realised the real meaning of living in the present, the here and the now, that yoga and self help books had tried to get across to me for the past 7 years!

A couple of months later (after my arm had healed) I heard that my yoga teacher was starting to take on yoga teacher trainees, I jumped at the chance to do it, to find out more, to go deeper into my practice. I started to throw myself into yoga, head first. June saw another yoga retreat, this time in Italy, Insabina, I met some amazing teachers, people and friends. The practice twice a day plus anything we could squeeze in between was amazing, I was learning so much and in such a short time. In all the practices we did I think I probably missed out 2 jump backs/throughs, I just didn't want to miss out the opportunity to practice under such stars! But I came back down to earth with a bang when upon my return I found that I could not walk - my knees had swollen up and my body started to warp around them, as if it was trying to protect them. I couldn't do anything, my body was a mess! I was devastated...Take Your Rest.........

2 months later brings us about up to date, my knees can just about handle my practice, albeit with some modifications, but after 2 months of NO practice, a little modification here and there, a towel, some blocks, some anti inflammatories and some ice, I have come to realise we can't all be David Swenson (although I heard somewhere he'd had numerous knee ops - David, if you do read this (I met you once at Purple Valley, 2009, (the girl who lost her luggage!?) is this really true?)!!!!

I have an MRI booked in for October, because the knees still 'catch' (I don't know whether anyone else has ever had these symptoms (yoga related or not) ? If so please let me know) they still feel 'loose' and sometimes feel like they need a good shake out! Anyhow, all being said, I'm back to my practice, back on the mat, props, whatever, I'm there... And I suppose that this blog, from now on, is my journey onwards... I'll keep you informed....

Day one in the Big Brother Blogosphere...

2010-09-24T14:04:00.001+01:00

I think one of first things that your teacher advises you to do when embarking on a yoga teacher training programme is to keep a diary of your practice. Now, I've never been one for keeping a diary, don't get me wrong, I have tried, and people must look at me and think 'she looks like someone who keeps a diary', so I have them strewn in bookshelves across my home, under my bed and in boxes under the stairs, however, they are all redundant, they all have but a few pages of the written word before being left to collect dust.

I don't know why, but I guess I've never thought what I had to say was very important and I always felt that if the entries weren't perfect or weren't good enough to entertain it wasn't worth keeping one, but Christ, who was I thinking was going to read it anyway?!!

So, here I am, telling it how it is. The above passage probably tells a lot about me, but I am going to give this a go; My Yoga Practice, out in the open, for all to see! Hopefully keeping this blog will give me chance to let out all the 'chitta vritti' which continues to beat me up on a daily basis.... Mx